All I Need
by merder6
Summary: MerDer AU. Takes place in New York as Derek begins his intern year and Meredith is a freshman in college. I'm sure it's been done a hundred times, but I couldn't get it out of my head
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Mark, remind me again exactly why I need to come with you tonight?" Derek asked his best friend as they made their way down the bustling New York street towards the bar that Mark had insisted that the two of them go to tonight.

"Because Casey, the hot blonde from Anatomy last semester, told me she would be hanging out here tonight, and I told her I would stop by," Mark replied, knowing full well that he planned to do more than just 'stop by'.

"Okay, so that gives you a reason to be here, but why me? I just got off a thirty six hour shift, and I could be sleeping right now," Derek questioned.

"Dude, it's the end of August. That means you've been an intern for almost two months, and it has been hell. You finally have tonight off, and then two days off in a row, and I think you should try to enjoy them before you're the bottom of the surgical food chain again. So just come on!" Mark reasoned with Derek, walking faster down the street.

"As you said, I have two days off from the hellish internship, so one night of staying in and sleeping won't kill me," Derek fired back, even though he knew it was a lost cause. He didn't mind going out for a beer, he needed to unwind anyway. But, he knew that Mark was going to go all man whore on some girl, which would inevitably leave him alone at the bar, and then probably make for a sleepless night back at their apartment.

"You're coming because you need a break. And because Casey's friend Jamie is most likely going to be there, and I need you to be my wingman," Mark admitted as they reached the entrance of the bar.

"Oh, so the truth finally comes out," Derek chuckled. "Well, I'll stay for a little while for you, but if you're successful, go back to her place tonight, I really want to be able to get some sleep."

"Alright man, I'll try my best," Mark patted Derek on the back as he followed Derek inside.

The bar was crowded, as usual. It was a popular spot for college and medical school students, since it was just blocks from the campuses of both NYU and Columbia. Derek and Mark had discovered it their freshman year, and continued to frequent it throughout their college years and during med school at Columbia. Though Derek thought that they were getting too old for the place, it was still convenient because it was close to their apartment as well as NYU Medical Center, where both men were doing their residencies.

Music was coming from somewhere, and all the college kids scattered in different groups. Mark and Derek went and sat at the bar, chatting about their days and the surgeries they observed. Three scotches later, Derek was feeling a little buzzed, and Mark had just spotted Casey.

"Alright man, Casey didn't bring her friend, so I gotta go make my move. Are you gonna be alright if I leave you alone?" Mark asked as he stood up.

"Yeah sure, I'll probably head home in a few anyway. See you later," Derek responded as Mark turned and walked to a table. Derek ordered one last drink, scanning the room as he took a sip.

He locked eyes with a girl sitting at a table a few feet away, however, she looked away quickly as soon as their eyes met. She was beautiful; small and thin, with blonde hair and eyes that seemed to draw him in, even though he couldn't tell what color they were. She looked younger than him; Derek guessed that she was probably a senior in college. She sat with a friend, laughing and smiling as they talked. He was immediately intrigued by her, and he wasn't exactly sure why. He just knew he had to talk to her. Derek stared at the girl for a minute before finally seeing his opportunity; the Asian girl she was with got up and headed to the back of the bar, presumably to the bathroom. Derek grabbed his drink, stood up, and made his way towards her table.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, though I wish I did.**

_A/N: So, I just wanted to give you a heads up. The story's going to be about thirty chapters, ten of which are already written. I'll try to update as much as possible, but I just started school again, so I may go a while without updating sometimes, and I really apologize, because I hate when that happens. Anyway, thank you to everyone who's reading and reviewing it, I really appreciate it!_

Chapter 2

Meredith hadn't meant to stare at him, she really hadn't. She noticed the two men enter the bar about an hour ago, and had been floored by how attractive both had been, especially the one with dark, wavy hair. They were both clearly older than she was, and were definitely out of college. Meredith found it strange that two grown men would be hanging out at a bar that seemed filled with college kids, but hey, as long as she could admire how hot they were, she wasn't going to complain.

She had promised Cristina that they would have a quiet night, no boys and no alcohol. Not that Meredith was old enough to drink, but she still had her ways. But, just because she promised herself and her best friend that she wouldn't sleep with anyone tonight didn't mean she couldn't look and enjoy, especially since the dreamy dark haired one was sitting alone right in her line of vision.

"Meredith, are you staring at him again?" Cristina accused, knowing full well what her person was doing.

"What, no! Well, maybe a little," Meredith admitted. "But have you not seen him? God, he looks like a model, and he's basically sitting right in front of me, so I can't help it that I see him when I look straight ahead, not that I would want him to move or anything, just…"

"Rambling," Cristina interrupted. "So you're worked up over some McDreamy. I'm sure you'll see him around campus."

"No, he's definitely not a student, he looks too old. That's probably why he's so hot. His awkward teenage years are behind him, so now he's just sexy as hell."

As if he had heard her, the man looked up, staring straight into her eyes. Meredith looked down quickly and blushed, hoping that he really hadn't heard her.

"What's wrong with you?" Cristina questioned, noticing the color on Meredith's face.

Meredith laughed nervously and looked up. "He caught me staring at him. God, what is wrong with me? Have I ever been like this before? I'm almost positive I haven't. Maybe we should go before he thinks I'm a stalker or something for staring at him. Or he'll think I'm pathetic, and creepy, and…"

"Rambling again. Fine, we can go if you want. We start early tomorrow anyway, and I'm not even done unpacking yet. Let me just run to the bathroom, okay?"

"Yeah Cristina, I'll be right here, trying not to make a fool out of myself," Meredith said to her friend's retreating back, looking down to stare at the table.

Meredith really wished she had tequila right now, but she couldn't do that to herself. She had spent most of last year partying and sleeping around until the thing happened and she forced herself to stop. And since April, she hadn't had any desire to sleep with anyone, and she didn't think she wanted to sleep with the man at the bar, but she wanted him. She definitely wanted him.

Meredith sensed him before she heard him. She felt someone close to her, and could see someone standing by the edge of her table. She glanced up quickly, and once again made eye contact with 'McDreamy,' though now he was close enough for her to see what an amazing color blue his eyes were, and how they were shining as he smiled slightly.

"Hey," he said softly, and Meredith was immediately drawn in by his voice. It was warm and gentle, almost reverent.

She smiled slightly and nodded in response, trying her best to ignore him, at least to keep her promise to Cristina.

"So, is this a good place to hang out?" he continued, causing Meredith to meet his eyes again.

"I don't know, I've never been here before," Meredith responded quickly before dropping her head again. _Where the hell is Cristina? I need to get out of here ASAP._

"Ah, so you're ignoring me?"

"Umm, trying to," Meredith countered, hoping he would get the hint.

"You shouldn't ignore me."

_Man, this guy is persistent_, Meredith thought, but decided to humor him. "Why not?" she asked.

"Because I'm someone you need to get to know to love," he responded, his smile broadening.

Meredith was blown away by his smile and his confidence, and the only thing she could think to say was: "Really?"

"Oh yes,"

"So, if I know you, I'll love you?" Meredith asked, doubting the truth of her words.

"Oh yes," the man answered, quite sure of himself.

"You really like yourself huh?" Meredith stated, thinking that she had him beat, that he would realize that she found him cocky and annoying.

However, the smile never left his lips, he just lowered his voice slightly and answered "just hiding my pain," chuckling a little after he said it. Meredith was so taken aback by his answer that she giggled a little as well, suddenly very interested in the man.

"So what's your story," the man asked, giving the flirty banter a more serious tone.

She looked at him nervously for a second before answering. "I don't have a story. I'm just a girl in a bar."

"I'm just a guy in a bar," he fired back, smiling at her once again. Meredith couldn't tear herself away from his face, from his eyes. _I promised myself and Cristina I wouldn't have one night stands anymore. I have to focus on school. No more random guys in bars, or clubs, or anywhere really. School comes first. But God, his eyes…_

"I'm Derek Shepherd," he said, interrupting Meredith's rambling thoughts as he stuck out his hand. _Derek, _she repeated the name in her head. _He looks like a Derek._

"Meredith," she introduced herself, clasping his hand and gasping at the contact. It was almost as if a jolt of electricity shot through her as he shook her hand.

"Meredith," he, Derek, repeated, in the same soft, almost awed voice he used when he first said hello to her when he walked up to her table. It both thrilled and terrified her the way he said her name. He said it like she was important to him, and she had never meant much to anyone, except maybe Cristina. However, he didn't even know her, so he shouldn't be speaking to her like that, or looking at her like that, because it was too intense for her; guys like him would want a relationship, and Meredith didn't do relationships.

"So are you a student at NYU or Columbia?" Derek asked, finally sitting down next to her.

_Ha, _she thought, _if only you knew, you would not be talking to me right now. _"Yeah, something like that," Meredith answered vaguely. "And what about you, what do you do with yourself?"

"I'm a surgical intern at NYU Medical Center," Derek replied in a slightly arrogant way.

_Yup, way too old for me, _Meredith thought. "Oh really? Did you go to med school at NYU too?"

"No," Derek answered, "I actually went to Columbia for med school, but I'm almost positive I'd like to be a neurosurgeon and NYU Medical has a really good neurosurgery department, and even if I decide to do something else, the other departments are pretty good too.'

"Oh, that's right, Dr. Robinson transferred their a few years ago, and with Johnson as department head, it's sure to be a talented group of doctors," Meredith responded without thinking. _Crap, now he knows that I know surgery, and he's going to ask why. Crap. I could lie, but I'm a bad liar. Crap, I'll just say I read it somewhere or whatever._

"Wow" responded Derek, clearly impressed. "You really know your stuff. You must be interested in becoming a doctor."

"Ummm, yeah, su-sure," Meredith stuttered, trying to come up with a good excuse as to why she would know all that, but luckily she wouldn't have to think for long.

"Sorry Mer, there was a ridiculously long line for the bathroom, and then some idiot decided to try and hit on me. Let's go, tomorrow's going to be a long day," Cristina interrupted their conversation, grabbing Meredith's arm without even acknowledging Derek.

"Yeah, okay," Meredith said before turning to Derek and smiling. "Goodbye Derek,"

"Bye Meredith," he said softly, smiling as he said her name again before she turned and walked out.

As they left the bar, Cristina turned to Meredith. "So, McDreamy, huh? Did you get his number?"

"No I did not,' Meredith snapped, realizing she was slightly disappointed that she didn't. "He's way too old for me. He's an intern at a hospital, which makes him at least 26. Too old."

"Aww, that's too bad, he was hot."

"Yeah he was," Meredith smiled as she recalled his face, and the way he looked when he smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Derek walked briskly passed Washington Square Park, silently cursing Mark. His day off yesterday had been wonderful, and he had been looking forward to another relaxing day. Instead, he awoke to Mark bent over the toilet, begging Derek to take his overnight shift at the hospital because he felt sick. Derek reluctantly had agreed, but made Mark promise to switch with him the next time he was on call.

_Ugh, it was such a stupid idea to walk _Derek thought as he came to the middle of the park, the heart of NYU's campus. It was orientation week, Derek could tell by the lost look on the freshmen faces, taking in the school and the city around them. Derek tried to pass through the crowds as quickly as possible, but was stopped the instant he heard a somewhat familiar laugh ring through the crowd.

He whipped around, and saw the owner of the giggle standing about ten feet away. Meredith, the girl he had flirted with at the bar. He hadn't been able to get much out of her, but he was still fascinated by her. She was clever and slightly sarcastic, and clearly smart; she had an impressive knowledge of surgeons for a college student. Derek knew he should just keep walking, because he had another six blocks to go and would surely be late if he paused. But he wanted to talk to her again. _Needed _to talk to her again.

Lucky for him, Meredith was walking away from the group she was with, heading in his direction. Right before she bumped into him, he decided to make his presence known. "Meredith," he said warmly, enjoying the way her name sounded as he said it.

Her head shot up, and a look of surprise and panic crossed her face. "Derek?" she said softly, as if she was questioning whether or not he was really in front of her.

"Hi, how are you?" He asked, hoping she would stop looking at him as if he had three heads. It wasn't good for his ego.

"I'm uh, good. Umm, you know, busy," She said, gesturing to the groups around her and blushing, as if she was embarrassed to be with these people.

"I can see that," he smiled at her. "So, NYU? It's a great school. Are you helping out with orientation?"

"Uh, um, well," she stuttered in a way that Derek found adorable. "I-uh, yeah, let's go with that," she finally finished.

"Ok?" Derek said, confused with her statement. "Well, it's good that you go here."

Meredith looked up at him, the nervousness suddenly gone, replaced with the sarcasm from the bar a couple of nights ago. "Oh really, why is it so great that I go here?"

"Because you're close to the hospital," Derek shrugged, as if it were common knowledge. "That means you can come visit me often."

"Now why would I want to do that?" Meredith shot back, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"So you can get to know me. As I said, I'm someone you need to get to know to love."

Derek saw her tense, and she laughed nervously. "Oh, I don't, you…you don't want to get to know me," she stammered.

"Oh. But I do," Derek responded immediately. "Come on, go out with me?"

"I really…I can't… I don't think that would be a good idea," Meredith said.

Derek wanted to get to know her, and he couldn't understand why she wouldn't give him the chance. Yeah, he thought he might be a little older than her, but not enough to make difference. He didn't think she was playing hard to get, she genuinely seemed nervous about going out with him. He wished he could just leave her alone and forget her, but he didn't want to, and he didn't think that he could even if he wanted to. So he had to persuade her.

"Meredith, please," he said softly, basically begging. "Just coffee, just for an hour. Just one date and you'll never have to see me again if you don't want to. But please, just one date."

She looked up at him then, anxiety clearly written on her face. She looked him up and down, as if she was studying him, assessing him. After what seemed like an hour, the corners of her mouth pulled up into a miniscule smile as she nodded at him.

"Fine," she answered cautiously. "Coffee. Coffee sounds good."

"Great!" Derek said, breathing a sigh of relief. "How does Friday morning sound, I don't have to be at the hospital until late."

"Um, yeah, Friday sounds good. Maybe around ten thirty?" Meredith pulled out a piece of paper, wrote down her number, and handed it to Derek. "Here, in case you have to cancel or whatever. I know intern's hours can be a little crazy."

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to be there on Friday," Derek responded, flashing her a smile as he took her number.

"Ok," Meredith said, smirking up at him. "I hope I didn't make you late for wherever you're going."

"Crap!" Derek swore under his breath, _I'm going to be so late for rounds. _"I gotta go, but I'll see you Friday." He reached out, squeezing her hand before turning around and half running towards the hospital.

"By Derek," Meredith said after him, staring down at her hand, which was tingling, just as it had the other night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Cristina, how do I look?" Meredith asked nervously from the middle of their room, staring at herself in the mirror. She wasn't sure how to dress; she had never really been on a date before. Or out to coffee or whatever she was doing with Derek Shepherd. She assumed it was casual, so she settled on jeans and a sweater, leaving her hair down, and applying very little makeup. She didn't want to seem fake, especially since he was probably going to be really mad at her once he found out how old she was.

Cristina looked up from her book, taking in Meredith's appearance. "You look fine. Why do you care so much anyway, you've never cared about a guy before."

"He's not just a guy, he's…" _he's Derek, _Meredith finished in her head, but she couldn't say that to Cristina, because she wasn't even really sure what that meant. All she knew was that he was different than the other guys she'd been with; she wanted it to be different with him. "He's older," she finally finished. "He's going to be mad enough when he finds out I'm a freshman and I've basically lied to him, I don't want him to think I'm a whore or something."

"Uh huh," Cristina responded, not believing her for a second. "You are a terrible liar. You like him, you can just tell me. But be careful. McDreamy's a lot older than you."

"I don't like him!" Meredith snapped. "I mean, I could like him, one day… I guess I'm pretty sure I could, but that's not the point! The point is I don't know him well enough to like him yet, but I don't want him to see me as some kid who pretended she was older than she is."

"Whatever," Cristina said, turning back to her book. "You might want to hurry though; you're supposed to meet him in ten minutes."

"Crap!" Meredith exclaimed, grabbing her purse and running out the door. She got to the coffee shop slightly out of breath, but with a minute to spare. He was already seated at a table waiting for her, wearing jeans and a blue button down shirt. _God, he's hot, _Meredith thought, just staring at him for a minute. Slowly, she started walking towards him, trying to settle the flips her stomach decided to start doing. He looked up as she approached, and she realized that blue was a good color on him; it brought out his eyes. He grinned at her, which just made her more nervous. _I bet he has high expectations. I'm going to disappoint him, and then it won't even matter that I'm barely legal, he's going to think I'm a terrible date or whatever. _Those thoughts whipped through Meredith's head as Derek stood up to greet her. He grabbed her soldiers and pulled him towards her, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi," he said, pulling out her chair as Meredith steadied herself, a little thrown off by his hug.

"Hey, how are you? I'm, um, glad you could make it," Meredith stumbled over her words. _Get it together, _she thought.

"Of course I'd come, I wouldn't miss this," he said seriously, though his eyes were shining. "I'm good; it's been a long week though. How about you, have classes started yet?"  
>"Yeah, they started on Monday, a couple of them seem pretty easy, but my biochem class is going to be really hard."<p>

"I was terrible at biochem too, don't worry about it. But I think I took it as a freshman at Bowdoin. Do they have different requirements at NYU?"

_Oh crap, _thought Meredith, feeling her face turning red. _Now I have to tell him. Well, we haven't even gotten our coffee yet, so maybe it's a good thing, then he won't have to hang around and have it be awkward or…_

"Meredith," Derek's voice cut through her thoughts, interrupting the freak out in her head. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she started, before mumbling "I'mafreshman."

"What did you say?" Derek leaned closer to her, trying to make out her words.

"Um, you see Derek, I'm…"

"Hi, what can I get you guys today?" A young woman suddenly appeared in front of them to take their orders, giving Meredith a few minutes to breath.

They placed their orders, surprised that they ordered the same thing, and the waitress left. Derek turned his focus back on Meredith. "So what were you saying?"

"Ok, so this is going to sound really bad. And you're going to think that I lied to or led you on or whatever, which I didn't really do, but I kind of did. And I'd understand if you get mad at me, and you just want to leave, because I think I would be mad too, if I was in your shoes," Meredith paused for a breath, looking Derek in the eye just for a moment. His expression was one of amusement, but he couldn't hide the glimmer of fear in his eyes. She took a deep breath, and just let it out. "Derek, I'm only a freshman at NYU. Which means that you are a lot older than me, and you seem really nice, but I'm probably not exactly what you're looking for."

Derek reached across the table and grabbed her hand, forcing her to meet his gaze again. He didn't seem angry; he was smiling at her gently.

"Meredith," he said soothingly, "as much as I enjoy the rambling, I'm going to have to interrupt. I'm not angry that you're a freshman. A little shocked, yes, but not angry. And that's not your fault, you just seemed older, so I assumed you were. I'm not leaving just because you're a few years younger than I expected, I still want to get to know you." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"You're not mad, or disgusted, or feeling gross that you hit on a teenager?" Meredith asked, though she felt a little relieved.

"Well, now that you put it that way…" he chuckled, clearly joking, and Meredith had to smile. "But you are eighteen, right? Because I really don't want to go to jail."

"Yes I am eighteen, I'll have you know I turn nineteen in March," Meredith said, making a face at him.

"And I turned twenty-six in July, just in case you're curious," he winked at her, and the conversation became much more light hearted. After a few minutes of talking about classes and the hospital, Derek began asking her questions. "So, tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?" Meredith asked back, teasing him.

"Where are you from?"

"Boston, well, Seattle originally, and then I moved to Boston. You?"

"Manhattan. I love it here. What do your parents do?"

Meredith stiffened at that question, and she knew Derek had noticed. She decided to tell him the truth, and just get it over with. "My father left when I was five, so I don't know what he does. My mother's a surgeon, you probably studied her in med school, and everybody knows who she is."

"Wait, is your mother Ellis Grey? Is that how you knew all that stuff about the surgeons at the hospital?"

Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Yeah, my mother always likes to see what other hospitals are doing, she wants to make sure that the Mass Gen is still one of the best hospitals on the East Coast," Meredith said, rolling her eyes at her mother's words. "Um, what do your parents do?" she said, obviously trying to change the subject.

Derek just smiled at her, not acknowledging the fact that she was clearly avoiding something. "My mom is a navy nurse, and my father used to own a store. My two older sisters are doctors too. Nancy's an OB, and Kathleen's a shrink. My younger sister Liz is in med school, and Amelia… well, Amelia's just Amelia."

"Wow, four doctors, your parents must be proud," Meredith said, glancing down at her watch. "Oh, I've gotta go, I told Cristina I'd meet her for lunch, and it's almost one." She stood up as Derek placed some money on the table.

"Meredith," Derek said in that voice again, the one that was filled with awe. "I had a really nice time."

Meredith smiled softly at him. "I did too, it was fun." She really didn't want to leave, but she knew Cristina would be pissed if she didn't show up. "Which way are you headed?"

"Towards your school, do you want me to walk with you?" Derek asked hopefully, reaching for her hand.

"Yeah, that would be nice," Meredith said, looking down at his hand in hers. They walked silently for a few minutes before Meredith finally built up some courage. Turning to look at him, still walking, she opened her mouth. "Do you think that you might, uh, maybe wanna do this again sometime? Only if you want to though?"

Derek turned to face her, smiling broadly at her once again. "I would love too," he said. "My schedule is pretty hectic, but I know I have next Friday night off, would you maybe want to go to dinner?"

"Dinner. Dinner sounds good," Meredith smiled, stopping suddenly. "Well, this is my building."

Still holding her hand, Derek turned so that they were face to face. "I'm glad dinner sounds good." He lowered his face to hers, and Meredith tilted her face upwards slightly. He brushed his lips softly against hers. It was barely a kiss, but it was nice, and gentle, and had Meredith going weak at the knees. She had never been kissed like that. It was innocent, but yet there was an intensity to it, and she couldn't help feel disappointed as Derek pulled a way, a smile on both of their faces.

"I'll call you soon, okay?" Derek asked, and all Meredith could do was nod. "Goodbye Meredith," he said, before turning and walking away.

"Bye Derek," she called after him, happier than she had been in a while. Meredith knew she was smiling like an idiot, but she just couldn't help herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

**A/N:_ So this update is pretty short, so I'll post again tomorrow. Thank you so much for reading and your reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!_**

Chapter 5

"Eighteen Derek? Seriously? You're with a freshman?" Mark asked as he and Derek sat down in the cafeteria. They were on lunch break, and all Mark had been doing all morning was pester Derek with questions about his coffee date with Meredith.

"I'm not 'with' a freshman; we've been on one date. But yes Mark, she is only eighteen."

"You're so lucky man, college girls are always wild. Remember the ones at Bowdoin? Though I've heard the city girls are even more crazy…" Mark trailed off.

"Do you think of anything other than sex?" Derek shot at him, hoping to end the conversation.

"Well, I was also thinking that if I were you, I'd be a little grossed out. I mean, she's a year younger than Amelia. Doesn't that freak you out that you're banging someone younger than your baby sister?"

"Once again, Meredith and I have not had sex, and I would prefer not to think about it, because I don't even want to know the guys that Amy's been with, and I don't want you comparing her to Meredith."

"Alright, I'll drop it, for now," Mark smirked at him. "So, what's she like, are you gonna see her again?"

"She's great," Derek smiled, recalling his date with Meredith. "She rambles a little, but she's kind, and smart, and funny, and beautiful. We're going out again in a week, out to dinner."

"Oh, I'll be sure to be on call so you can have the apartment to yourself," Mark winked, causing Derek to roll his eyes.

"You're like the world's most juvenile human being I've ever met in my life." Derek snapped.

"This is true," Mark said in a matter of fact tone. "But, in all seriousness, what are you going to do about Addison?"

"What about Addison?" Derek said automatically, not seeing the significance in Mark's statement.

"Well, aren't you seeing her? I have a feeling that she isn't going to like the idea of you seeing the freshman, and the freshman probably doesn't want to be the other woman."

"Addison and I only went on a couple of dates, and we definitely weren't exclusive. Besides, we haven't gone out in weeks, so I don't think she really cared all that much."

"You're both interns, so your schedules don't always match up. How do you know she's not waiting for you to call?"

"Mark, can you just drop it?" Derek snapped, getting more and more frustrated with his friend. "We are not together; we went on a couple of dates. She's nice, and she's fun, but I'm not really interested in her. And I will happy to tell her that if she ever shows up angry at me for not calling. I have never once questioned how you handle all the women in your life, and God knows there are a lot of them. You sleep with a new girl every other night, and you rarely go on an actual date. But do you see me judge you and try to tell you what to do? No, I don't. So please leave me alone!"

Mark was stunned into silence for a moment; Derek had never really gotten angry at him before. He slowly nodded and said "I'm sorry man, you're right; I shouldn't have jumped down your throat. So, you really like this Meredith girl?"

"Yeah, I do. I don't know what it is, but she's different than other girls," Derek smiled again.

"Yeah, and younger," Mark muttered, stopping when he saw Derek's glare. "You know, I could always take Addison off your hands, she is one hot red head."

"Go for it Mark," Derek responded as he rolled his eyes. "Just make sure not to bring her back to the apartment while I'm there, I'm sure that would be pretty awkward."

"I'll be sure to give you a heads up. Besides, you apparently already called dibs on the place Friday night, so I suppose I'll have to wait a week anyway."

"I never said I would need the apartment, and I never said that I would sleep with Meredith next week." Mark seriously needed to learn how to talk about something other than sex.

"So you don't want to sleep with the freshman? Do you think she's a virgin or something?"

"Believe it or not Mark, my sole focus in life is not to get into every girl's pants. And I'm not answering that question." With that, Derek's pager went off, and he stood up. "I gotta go my patient needs surgery. I'll see you later."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Derek took the elevator up the eight floors to Meredith's building the following Friday, his excitement bubbling over so much that he couldn't stand still. This past week had been stressful; he had worked a thirty-six hour shift and had been on call the night before, but Meredith made it all worth it. He had called her on Monday to work out a time and location for their date, and had ended up being on the phone for almost an hour. Which had led to Derek calling her again on Tuesday, and then again when he was bored at the hospital. They were able to talk easily, realizing their similar tastes in books and movies, and he was able to tease her about her love for all things Boston while she mocked his favorite bands. Derek found her perfect in almost every way, and she seemed to like him a lot too.

Finding her room, Derek knocked softly, only to be met by a bang, followed by an "oh crap", on the other side of the door. Derek chuckled to himself, realizing that Meredith was probably a little bit of a klutz.

The door swung open, and Meredith stood before him. She looked amazing; she wore a black, knee length halter dress that clung to her in all the right places. Her black strappy high heels matched her dress, and her hair fell down in waves around her face. She wore a little bit of makeup, not too much; just enough to draw attention to her light blue eyes, which Derek now noticed contained flecks of green.

"Hi," she smiled nervously at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

Derek stepped forward, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Hi yourself. You look amazing."

Meredith blushed and looked at her feet. "Thank you," she said in a tone that said that she didn't believe him. "My friend Izzie helped me with this. I don't dress up much, but she thought that I should look nice, since it's Friday and we're going to dinner."

"Well, you clean up nicely. Are you ready to go?"

"Uh huh," Meredith answered, before looking over her shoulder to the girl Derek had seen her with at the bar. "I'll see you later Cristina,"

The girl looked up from her laptop, and studied Derek up and down. "Bye Mer. See you later McDreamy."

"McDreamy?" Derek repeated as Meredith closed the door. He watched as Meredith's cheeks turned red again, and couldn't help but find the frequent blushing adorable.

"Yeah, umm, it's what Cristina calls you. She dubbed you McDreamy the night at the bar, and hasn't really let it go."

"Well, I am dreamy, and I'm glad your friend acknowledges that."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You are so full of yourself," but she couldn't help but giggle at the end. They stepped into the elevator, and found themselves all alone. "Sorry, these elevators are really slow."

"That's ok," Derek said a sly look on his face. "You know, we can take advantage of this time alone."

"What?" Meredith's eyes widened as Derek stepped closer to her. "Whatever thoughts you have going through your head, my answer is no."

"Oh come on," Derek said, taking another step closer. "You don't know what I'm thinking. For all you know, I could simply want to have a conversation." The look in eyes, however, made it quite obvious that it wasn't what he was thinking at all.

"You're sexually harassing me," Meredith shot at him, but an amused look covered her face.

"I'm riding an elevator," Derek retorted, mimicking her expression.

Derek stared at Meredith, who looked him up and down quickly. Before he even realized what was happening, Meredith launched herself at him, dropping her purse as she grabbed him, kissing him hard. Derek instinctually grabbed her face, pulling her closer to him as she ran her hands through his hair. As Derek slid his tongue into Meredith's mouth. He turned them around so that Meredith was pinned against the elevator wall, and lifted her slightly so her face was above hers. He didn't know how it happened, but now it was he who was pinned against the elevator wall. His hands went to her hair, and he reveled in how good she tasted, and how amazing it felt to kiss her. He wouldn't be upset if he never stopped kissing her, and she seemed to feel the same way. He heard the faint ding of the elevator as they reached the lobby, and Meredith slipped from his grasp, desperately trying to smooth out her dress and control her breathing. She reached down to grab her purse, then looked up at him and smiled as the doors slid open. "You might want to fix your hair," she said, slightly breathless.

"Right," he panted, smoothing down his hair as they walked out of the elevator and the building in silence. It wasn't until they were out on the sidewalk that Derek turned to smirk at her, lacing their fingers together. "So, that kiss?"

"Shut up," she hissed at him, but her the corners of her lips quivered.

"I like the kissing. I'm all for the kissing. More kissing I say," he said, still smiling.

"I have no idea what that was about," Meredith said, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

"Is it going to happen again?" Derek joked, but secretly hoping that it would happen again. And often. "Because if it is I need to bring breath mints," he leaned closer to her, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Put a condom in my wallet."

"Shut up now," she whispered back, but chuckled. "So, where are we going again?"

"I seem to remember someone having a craving for Italian food earlier this week, so I thought that I would help you out," he replied.

"Well, aren't you so considerate," Meredith said with mock praise.

"That I am," Derek smiled, as he led her towards a restaurant about a block from his apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Just a head's up, this chapter is kind of porny at the end. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, your comments make my day :)_**

Chapter 7

"Dinner was good," Meredith sighed contently as they left the restaurant, reaching for Derek's hand and heading in the direction of her dorm.

"Dinner was excellent," he agreed, pulling Meredith in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?" She asked, looking confused.

"It's warm out, so I thought I would take you to get some ice cream. I know a place right next to my apartment. It's close by."

"Derek Shepherd, you better not be using this as an excuse to get laid," she laughed, but followed him easily.

"Oh damn, you've caught me," he said sarcastically, but got a thrill at the thought of seeing Meredith naked in his bed.

"Alright, as long as we've got that- " Meredith tripped over a rock, practically falling into Derek's arms.

"Mer, are you alright?" he asked, his voice filled with concern. "Are you hurt, do we need to go get your ankle checked out?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Derek, I'm fine. I very rarely wear heels, so I'm not used to walking around in them. And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most graceful person in the world."

"I have noticed that, but don't worry, I think it's cute," Derek laughed, as they continued walking. After a minute, he pointed to an apartment complex. "So, I live right here, and right there," he pointed to a business about a fifty feet away, "is Emack and Bolio's, which is where you'll get some of the best ice cream in the city."

"Oh really," Meredith raised her eyebrows, "I may have to test that."

"I hope you will," Derek replied as they entered the shop. "Could I get a small coffee ice cream, and a small strawberry ice cream with sprinkles," he said, hoping to impress her with the fact that he remembered her favorite flavor of ice cream.

Surprisingly, she laughed at him. "They aren't called sprinkles," she explained, "They're called jimmies."

"No, normal people call them sprinkles, crazy people from Boston call them jimmies," he shot back as he handed her the cup.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes as they sat down on a bench outside. They sat in a comfortable silence before Meredith cleared her throat, causing Derek to turn and look at her.

"Derek," she said softly. "If you want, I mean, we could, I want…" he smiled at her as she sighed, trying to get her thoughts together. " Can I see your apartment?" she finally asked.

Derek nodded. "Definitely, if you want to. Mark's on call tonight, so you won't have to worry about any inappropriate comments from him."

"Huh?" Meredith's nose wrinkled as she looked at him, confused.

"Mark is only capable of thinking about sex. It honestly gets ridiculous." Derek laughed, and then regretted his words. _Great, _he thought. _Now she's going to think all I want is sex, so now I look like an ass. Great. _

Meredith just laughed, not fazed by the mention of sex. "Izzie can be like that sometimes. She knows exactly how long it's been since she last had sex." Then Meredith went quiet, and Derek thought she looked lost in her own world, and he could have sworn he saw pain in her eyes for a moment.

Derek stood up, grabbing Meredith's hand. "Come on, let's go see my place before it gets too late." He chose his words carefully, because as much as he may want to sleep with Meredith, he didn't want to force her into anything she didn't want to do.

She smiled at him, letting him lead her into his building and up to the second floor, where his apartment was. "Now, it's not much," Derek explained as he opened the door, "but remember, we're interns, we don't make a whole lot of money."

Meredith examined the living room, kitchen, and even the bathroom before she slowly turned to face him, her expression unreadable. "So," she began coyly, a slow smile creeping onto her face. "Where's your bedroom?"

"Oh," Derek gasped as he understood what she was asking, and couldn't help but be aroused by her. "It's this way," he led her down the hall to the room on the right, opening the door.

She took two steps in before turning around and lunging at him again. This time, Derek was prepared, and he kissed her hungrily. Meredith wrapped her leg around his waist, and Derek grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. His mouth moved from hers to her neck, trailing kisses along her jaw as she unbuttoned his shirt. His hands moved to the zipper of her dress, and she shimmied out of it, nibbling on his ear.

"Meredith," he moaned as his mouth moved towards her chest, sucking on the skin along the edge of her bra. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Meredith gasped as she worked to undo his belt. "Just please tell me you have a condom."

"Mhmm," Derek managed as Meredith finally pulled down his pants, his boxers going with them. He unhooked her bra, and pulled away from her as he slowly took off her panties, admiring her perfect figure. "Wow," he choked out, "just, wow."

"Thanks," she said, panting as she reached for his already throbbing erection, stroking it lightly. "You're pretty impressive yourself."

"Mer," he breathed, kissing her deeply before moving his mouth downward, kissing and licking her neck and shoulders before finally arriving at her breasts. His hand continued lower, trailing down to her center, stroking her as he placed his mouth over one of her nipples, sucking and nipping it gently before turning to the other one.

"Derek," she cried, arching into him and moving her hips reflexively as he slipped a finger inside of her. He slipped another finger inside of her, and shifted his hand so that his thumb pressed against her clitoris. She moaned at the touch, and became increasingly louder as his fingers began to stroke in and out of her. "Please, don't stop!" she panted as she rolled her hips. Derek looked at her from his place at her breasts, and saw her head thrown against the pillow, writhing in pleasure. The sight aroused him even more, his erection becoming almost painful, knowing he would need to be inside her soon. He kissed her passionately, slipping his tongue into her mouth as she tangled her hands in hair. Meredith broke the kiss as she began to tremble, burying her face in his neck as she began to clench around his fingers. Derek stroked faster until she all but screamed his name, the rhythmic contractions around his fingers signaling her orgasm.

Derek slipped his fingers out of her, and reached into his nightstand, grabbing a condom. He shifted so that he was hovering over her, and pushed damp strand out of her face as he kissed her deeply. Meredith grabbed the condom out of his hand, ripped it open, and rolled it over him, stroking his shaft as she did so, causing him to gasp in pleasure.

"Derek," she panted softly, raising her hips against him, "Please."

"Hmmm," he moaned as he lowered himself into her, filling her slowly. They both moaned in pleasure as he slowly pulled out of her and thrust back in. He continued to thrust slowly as she stretched to accommodate him, picking up the pace when she began to rock her hips against his, meeting each thrust so that he buried himself deeper inside her.

He thread his fingers in her hair, kissing her as her fingers roamed his back. He felt her lock her legs around his hips, pulling him in deeper than he thought possible. Derek could feel her tensing, and he knew she was close. He broke their kiss as he buried his face in her neck, while Meredith moaned and shifted beneath him, her muscles beginning to clamp around him.

"Faster Derek," she commanded, though it came out as a whimper. "Derek," she begged, chanting his name until his mouth crashed over hers once again, almost silencing her. As her muscles contracted around him, Meredith broke the kiss, her hips bucking as she screamed his name in ecstasy. It became too much for Derek to bear, and he came roaring after her as he thrust deeply once more.

He collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck as her hand played with his hair, both of them finally trying to catch their breath. After a while, Derek slowly pulled out of her, grabbed a couple of tissues to dispose of the condom, and placed his arms around Meredith.

"Wow," he said, finally regaining the ability to speak. "That was…" he couldn't even describe what just happened. "That was something else."

"Yeah," Meredith agreed, at a loss for words like Derek. "Amazing"

"Mind blowing."

"Fantastic," Meredith giggled, shifting so that her head was lying on Derek's chest.

"Best ever," Derek said honestly, looking down at her and running his fingers through her hair.

"Really?" Meredith asked in disbelief.

"Really," Derek affirmed, nodding.

"Yeah, for me too. The same," Meredith said softly, as if she was embarrassed to admit it.

"You aren't, I mean, you _weren't_, because technically you wouldn't be anymore…" Derek began, uncomfortable with the question, but wanting to make sure that she was okay with what just happened.

Meredith laughed lightly, obviously not offended or uncomfortable "no Derek, I'm not. Definitely not…" She yawned loudly, cuddling closer to Derek instinctively as she did, causing him to smile.

Derek kissed the top of her head and breathed in, inhaling an intoxicating flowery smell. "I guess I tired you out," he joked as he pulled her closer.

"Mhmm," was all she could manage as her eyes drifted close. "Night."

"Goodnight Mer," he whispered, kissing the top of her head once more.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Meredith awoke to sunlight streaming onto her face. She shifted to stretch out, only to realize that someone was holding on to her. Her eyes snapped open, not knowing where she was. But when she realized that the person beside her was Derek, she calmed down tremendously. She remembered their date last night. Their perfect date, followed by mind blowing sex, and she smiled. Derek looked cute when he slept, his hair was tousled, and his face was calm; he was almost smiling. Normally when Meredith would wake up next to a boy, she would try to sneak out before he woke up. But with Derek, it was different; his arms held her tightly, and she felt safe, and she didn't want to move.

She shifted to lie closer to him, causing Derek to stir, and his eyes to flutter open. As he tried to focus on her, panic gripped her. _Maybe he'll be mad that I'm still here, _she thought to herself. _I told him that he could drink, even though I'm not legal, and he did have a couple of beers. Maybe he didn't want to sleep with me, or he did but wanted me to leave after, or…_ but as she watched a slow, tired smile creep across his face, she calmed down again, because that smile told her that he was glad that she was still here, that he wanted her here.

"Morning," he said, pulling her closer to him so that she was practically lying on top of him. He lowered his face to hers in order to capture her lips in a kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth briefly before he broke away.

"Good morning," she giggled as he pulled away, staring at him.

"What time is it?" Derek asked as he squinted to look at the clock.

"Umm, it's nine-thirty,' Meredith answered, getting nervous again that he might want her to leave soon. "Do you want me to go? Because I should probably leave soon anyway, Cristina's going to worry about me, and you probably have to work, so I should get dressed."

"If you wait an hour I can walk you back,' Derek said, clearly amused by the rambling.

"What?" Meredith asked, surprised. If she had been unfortunate enough to have her one night stands be awake when she left them, they never offered to walk her home. They just told her where the door was.

"I have to work at eleven, and your dorm is near the hospital, so why don't you hang out for a little while, and then we can walk together?" Derek offered. Meredith read his expression carefully. He seemed to want her to stay, and she really didn't want to leave right now either. She wasn't sure if he was just being nice, so she wanted to make sure he really wanted her.

"And what are we going to do for an hour?" She asked.

"Well, we could stay right here and have more sex," he offered, but he could tell she was joking. "However, that probably isn't very responsible. So, we could shower, together or separately, your choice, and then I could make you breakfast."

"You're going to make me breakfast?" she said cautiously. "You can cook?"

"I'm actually an excellent cook. I grew up with four sisters, so my mother made sure I knew how to cook too."

Meredith thought for a minute, before getting out of bed and moving towards the door. She felt Derek staring at her naked body, but she didn't feel all that self-conscious.

"Where are going?" he asked as she opened the door to his bedroom, sounding a little worried.

"To shower," Meredith responded over her shoulder, before turning around to face him, smiling seductively. "Would you like to join me?"

Derek stared at her for a minute before jumping out of bed. He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up, causing Meredith to shriek and laugh as he carried her to the bathroom.

XX

Meredith knew she looked ridiculous as she walked back to her dorm. It was ten thirty in the morning, and she was wearing the dress she wore on her date last night, refusing to wear the sweatpants and t-shirt Derek offered her out in public. It was clearly too early to be wearing a semiformal dress, and she figured people would look at her funny and know that she was making a walk of shame. Plus, she looked even more ridiculous because of the man she was holding hands with through Washington Square Park. Derek was perfectly comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt; he had told her as they were getting dressed that he wasn't going to get dressed up just to change into scrubs as soon as he got to the hospital. So, Meredith was sure she was getting weird looks. Then again, she is in New York, there are plenty of people that wear stranger clothing than a fancy black dress on a Saturday morning.

"Mer, are you alright," Derek leaned down, speaking softly into her ear, causing a chill to run up her spine.

She looked up at him, smiling brightly. "Yeah, I'm great," she said honestly, "why?"

"Because you looked a million miles a way for a minute; I was wondering what was going on inside your head."

Meredith laughed. "I'm still thinking about how ridiculous I look in this dress compared to what you're wearing." She squeezed his hand, reassuring him that there was indeed nothing wrong.

"Ok," he smiled, squeezing her hand back as they stopped outside her dorm. "I'm not getting out of work until eight tomorrow morning, so I'll definitely call you tomorrow afternoon. But, if it's a slow night, would you mind if I called you tonight?"

Meredith's stomach flip flopped at the idea that he wanted to talk to her sooner rather than later. "Of course you can call me tonight, but I can't guarantee that I'll be sober if you call after ten," she teased.

Derek made a fake concerned face. "Miss Grey, I do believe that you are under twenty-one, which means that you should be sober every time I call you."

She stood on her tip toes to kiss him lightly on the lips before laughing. "I am well aware, Dr. Shepherd," she began. "And normally I would be, but it has been a very time since I've been to a party, and Cristina insists that I go to this one. But I promise to behave."

Derek leaned down to kiss her, and let his forehead rest against hers. "Alright then, as long as you behave." His voice then turned from mocking to serious. "And be safe, I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I'll be careful, I promise," she said, looking into his eyes before kissing him again, a little longer than before. "Have fun at work."

"I will," he said, pulling his head away from hers and letting go of her waist. "I'll miss you."

Meredith was startled at that. "Oh, um I…I" she stuttered, taking a deep breath. "I'll miss you too," she said honestly, offering him a small smile.

Derek nodded. "Good," he said, kissing her cheek. "Bye Mer."

"Bye Derek," Meredith answered before entering her building and heading to the elevators.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's but I can't wait for the premiere in two weeks!_**

**_A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reading and reviewing; you guys are awesome. I have seventeen chapters written so far, but I want to pace myself so you won't have to wait too long for updates because it's taking longer to write now that school is in full swing. With that being said, I'll probably post every other day or so, but I really like this chapter, so I wanted to update today. Please read and review!_**

Chapter 9

"Where the hell have you been?" Cristina yelled at Meredith as she walked into her room. "Did you even come back last night? I didn't think you were here when I went to bed and you definitely weren't here when I woke up! I was this close to calling the cops on McDreamy!" Cristina paused to study Meredith, a slow smile creeping on her face. "Did you stay at his place?"

"Hi to you too," Meredith replied, choosing to ignore Cristina's question as she went to her closet to change her clothes.

"Answer the question: did you sleep with him?"

Meredith couldn't keep anything from Cristina, and whenever she tried, Cristina always found out eventually, so Meredith just nodded.

Cristina was silent for a moment. "Was he good? Because he looks like he'd be good, was it any good?"

Meredith shot her a look, but that didn't stop Cristina. "Come on Mer, I'm your person. You have to tell me. You've told me about every other guy you slept with, you can't stop now!"

Meredith sighed, and slowly turned away from her closet, now dressed in sweatpants and an NYU tee. "Fine," she began. "It was great. Like really, really great. He was amazing, by far the best sex I've ever had."

"And then what, you snuck out of his place this morning like you usually do? Don't you think that'll make him mad?"

As Meredith opened her mouth to answer, there door burst open and a tall blonde girl entered. "Mer!" She shouted. "I've been looking for you! How was your date? You missed a great party last night. Cristina drank a ton, so I had to walk her back here, but you weren't back yet. What time did you get in?"

"About ten minutes ago. Sit down Izzie, she was just telling us about her night."

Meredith glared at Cristina as Izzie plopped herself down on Meredith's bed. "You just got back? What were you guys doing? Did you stay at his place? Did you have sex? How was it?"

"Izzie calm down or I'll kick you out," Cristina snapped. "Mer stayed at McDreamy's last night, they had really great sex, and she snuck out this morning."

"Wrong!" Meredith finally was able to say something. "I did not sneak out this morning. We woke up at nine-thirty, showered, and got dressed. Then he made me breakfast and he walked me home. End of story."

"Was the showering done separately or together?" Cristina asked with a smirk, which only widened as she saw Meredith's cheeks turn bright red. "Go Meredith! Shower sex is hot."

"Wait, you didn't sneak out? I thought you never stayed over at a guy's place if you can help it? At least that's what you told me." Izzie was from Washington, and hadn't gone to high school with Cristina and Meredith, so she was still trying to get to know them.

Meredith shrugged, unwilling and unable to explain what it was about Derek Shepherd that made him different than the other guys she had ever dated or hooked up with. "I usually don't. I don't know, I was really tired last night and we woke up at the same time this morning, and it was nice. I don't know…" Meredith trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Oh my God!" Izzie said suddenly, as if she understood what Meredith was going through. "You're falling for him!" Cristina snorted as Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I am not," Meredith snapped, but couldn't ignore the way her stomach tightened at the thought of seeing Derek again, and she had to fight a smile as she thought of the _idea _of falling for him. Because there was no way that she already had. They'd only been on two dates, and talked a few times on the phone. _That's not enough to fall for someone_, she thought. _It can't be. _

"Oh you so are," Izzie retorted.

"No I'm not!" Meredith insisted, but she had the sinking feeling that Izzie could be right.

"You so are," Izzie repeated, as Cristina chimed in "Damn it. You poor girl."

"You know, it's just that he's so-" Meredith started, but wasn't really sure what she was going to say. "And I'm just…I'm having a hard time." She looked at the two of them, hoping they could offer her some advice.

Izzie looked at her sympathetically. "You're all mushy, and warm, and full of secret feelings." With that Cristina burst out laughing, causing Meredith to pick up her pillow and chuck it at Cristina's head.

"I hate you!" She shouted, before plopping herself down on her desk chair and sulking.

When Izzie and Cristina finally stopped laughing, Izzie turned to Meredith, looking very serious. "So how hot is the sex?"

Meredith rolled her eyes "Izzie!" She started.

"What! Come on, I'm not getting any! Help a girl out with a few details." She looked at Meredith hopefully.

Meredith sighed, rolling her eyes. "As I told Cristina, it's great, really great. Best sex I've ever had. That's all you're getting."

"So are you seeing him again tonight? Are you guys a couple or something now?" Izzie asked.

Meredith wasn't sure how to answer the second question, she and Derek had never said they were exclusive, or really talked about it at all, but she couldn't help but hope that they would become a couple at some point. "No, I had plans with you guys, we're going out. Plus, Derek's working overnight at the hospital, not that I would ever blow you off for him. I would never be that person."

"Good, it's been way too long since you've been drunk, and I miss drunk Meredith," Cristina smiled, effectively ending the conversation about Derek.

XXXXXX

It was 9:45, and Meredith was putting the finishing touches on her hair. She, Cristina and Izzie were going to a senior's apartment, and they had to leave soon. She wore skinny jeans and a blue tank top, choosing not to wear short, almost slutty dresses like Izzie and Cristina because, for the first time since sophomore year, Meredith was not going to a party in order to get drunk and have sex with a random boy. Meredith knew she would get drunk, she had a water bottle of tequila to ensure that, but she would not be sleeping with anybody tonight. Unless Derek showed up, and then she might. And, just in case Meredith's self-control wasn't in check, Cristina wouldn't be drinking tonight, having had too much fun the night before.

She had just run a brush through her hair, and was about to take a swig from her water bottle when her phone rang. Thinking it was Izzie saying she was on her way over; Meredith answered it without even checking who it was. "Hello," she said distractedly.

"Is this a bad time?" his voice was distinct, and it sent goose bumps up her arms when she heard it.

"Derek," she breathed, excited to hear from him. Cristina looked up at her, obviously curious. "How-I thought you were working?"

"I am," he replied simply. "But you gave me permission to call you before ten if I wasn't too busy, and I have some time now. Plus I wanted to hear your voice." She could practically hear him smiling into the phone.

"I, um," she was happy he called, and she wanted to tell him that. But with Cristina looking at her like that, she knew she would be made fun of. _Aw screw it, _she thought. "I'm glad you called," she said softly, knowing that Cristina had heard her.

"Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about, and I think it's kind of important," Derek said, his voice taking on a more serious tone.

_Crap, here it comes, the 'it's not you it's me'; _Meredith thought to herself, hoping it would be quick and painless. _I guess I might be sleeping with someone tonight after all._ "Ummm, okay?"

"So, we had sex last night. And this morning," Derek mused, and Meredith thought he sounded happy; he was definitely smiling at the memory.

"We did," Meredith said, trying to control her breathing.

"And it was great…" Derek continued.

"It was…" Meredith said, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"And I really like you." Meredith's voice caught in her throat as he said that, hoping that meant he still wanted to see her again.

"I like you too," Meredith practically whispered. Cristina just rolled her eyes at Meredith.

"So, I was thinking," Derek was talking again, but this time he sounded nervous, unsure of himself. "I know we haven't known each other that long. It's only been two dates, well three if you count breakfast this morning, and a couple of phone calls, but…"

"You're rambling Derek," Meredith giggled, finally glad to know that she wasn't the only one who had that problem.

"I do not ramble, you ramble," Derek said, feigning insult. "Anyways, I would like to think of you as my girlfriend, or the person that I'm dating, who isn't seeing anyone else. What do you think?"

"You-you're girlfriend?" Meredith stuttered, as Cristina's eyes widened.

"And I would be your boyfriend. Unless you think it's too soon, because you can always say that it's too fast-"

"Derek," Meredith cut him off, forcing her voice to sound confident. "I would like to think of you as my boyfriend. And you can call me your girlfriend if you want," she said, scrunching her nose at the world girlfriend; it was the first time anyone had called her that.

"Oh, that's good," Derek said, sounding very relieved. "I'm glad. I would have talked to you in person, but my schedule is pretty crazy at the hospital, and I wasn't sure when I would see you again."

"I get it," Meredith assured him, grinning like a crazy person. "Remember who my mother is?"

"Oh right, of course you understand," Derek laughed. "Listen, I know you have your party tonight, and I have a trauma coming in in a couple of minutes, so do you think I can come by tomorrow afternoon?"

"Of course you can. I mean, I might be studying or something, but I wouldn't mind a distraction, for a little while."

"I can distract you. I know a lot of ways to distract you," his voice turned lower, huskier, and Meredith knew exactly what he meant.

"Hmm," she said before laughing. "Bye Derek, I'll see you tomorrow.

"Bye Mer."

As Meredith hung up, she couldn't help but grin like an idiot while Cristina mocked her and Derek. But she couldn't bring herself to focus on Cristina, because all she could think about was that she was Derek Shepherd's girlfriend.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

Chapter 10

The past two weeks had been amazing; Derek felt as though he was on cloud nine. Meredith was amazing, everything about her great. Despite his crazy hours and her class schedule, they had managed to see each other a handful of times, and they talked on the phone every day. She was always willing to be there for him if she could. After one really hard day, which involved losing two patients, Derek had called Meredith after his shift ended at ten and, sensing his sadness, offered to spend the night with him, even though she had class the next day. The sex that night had been fantastic, and she didn't even complain the next morning about the lack of sleep or how she had to wake up twenty minutes earlier in order to get to class on time. She was practically perfect.

Except Derek knew there was something up with Meredith. He could tell that she had been hurt a lot in her life, but he didn't know the extent. She never talked about her father, so she figured that was a part of it, and her mother always seemed to be working, so Meredith was left alone a lot. Derek knew that it must have been a tough childhood, which obviously still affected her greatly, so he made sure to take it slow, and not to push her too much. But there was something else there. She shied away from their relationship at times, pulling into herself. When he made a joke about the last boy she slept with, her face went white and she refused to talk to him for half an hour. He wanted to know her, to know everything about her, and he desperately wanted her to trust him.

And that was what Derek was going to tell her when they went out to dinner tonight. It was a Thursday, Derek had the night off, and Meredith's Friday class had been cancelled, so they decided that it would be the perfect date night.

"Hey man, what are you up to tonight?" Mark asked as he approached Derek, who stood by the nurse's station, finishing up some post-op notes before leaving for the day.

"I'm meeting Meredith at 6:30, we have reservations at seven," Derek said, not looking up from his paper work.

"Is she staying over tonight?" Mark asked. He genuinely liked Meredith, and she seemed to be fond of Mark, though Derek couldn't figure out why for the life of him.

"I believe so, she doesn't have class tomorrow, and I have the day off. So yes, plan on her coming over."

"Well, can you try to keep it down then? You two can get really loud, and I really don't want to hear you moan, no offense man," Mark said, patting Derek on the back before starting to walk away.

"We are not loud," Derek looked up at Mark in disbelief before smirking. "And if we are, consider it payback for all of the women you bring home."

"Yeah sure," Mark laughed as he headed for the pit.

XXXXXX

Meredith was waiting outside for him as he approached her building. Her hair was straight tonight, and she was wearing a light blue dress. It was a lot less formal than the dress she had worn on their first date, but it would be perfect for tonight. Derek watched her smile widen as he approached; she was clearly just as excited to see him as he was to see her. He tried to keep his pace normal, resisting the urge to run to her. When he was finally before her, he pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her firmly. When he finally pulled away, she giggled, but kept her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Hi," he whispered, smiling down at her.

"Hey," she replied, finally pulling away and lacing her fingers with his as they began to walk down the street. "How was work today? Save any lives?"

"Kind of. I observed a craniotomy, but I got scrub in and assist on an appy. How about you, learn anything today?"

The conversation flowed easily as they made their way to the restaurant. Once they were seated, they were silent as they looked over the menus. Derek glanced up at her over his menu, and couldn't help but revel in her. The way she wrinkled her nose as she studied the menu, her hair falling around her face, made Derek happier in a way he had never experienced before. It was then that Derek knew he was falling in love with her, and he could see a future with her, despite their age difference.

Derek was jolted as a familiar voice cut through his thoughts. "Derek Shepherd!" the voice called, and Derek's stomach knotted. _This isn't good, _he thought to himself as he looked up.

A woman was approaching the table. A tall, gorgeous, red head wearing a very expensive black dress and three inch heels. Derek's gaze shifted to Meredith, a puzzled look on her face. He didn't know what to say; this could be really bad. His expression turned apologetic, and he said the only thing he could think to "Meredith, I'm so sorry."

Staring at her, he watched as Meredith's face changed from simply puzzled, to confused, and finally landing on fearful. The redhead finally stopped at their table and completely ignoring Meredith.

"Addison," Derek said, feigning politeness. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm having dinner with my parents," she said, leaning down to kiss the edge of his cheek, practically the corner of his mouth. Derek stole a glance at Meredith, who was narrowing her eyes at Addison. "And I wanted to say hi."

"Well that was nice of you," Derek responded, looking at Meredith again. He hoped Addison would get the hint and leave, because he knew he would have to explain this to her.

"I didn't want to interrupt you, but I hadn't heard from you in a couple of weeks, and I missed you," Addison pouted at that, and Derek assumed she was trying to be cute.

"Yeah, well, I've been busy," Derek said, this time looking pointedly at Meredith, hoping that Addison would get the hint. What he saw, however, made his stomach drop. Apparently Meredith was not oblivious to the hints that Addison had been dropping, and he could see the hurt in her eyes.

"Oh," Addison faked surprise, turning to Meredith as if it was the first time she had seen her. "I'm Addison Montgomery, I'm a resident at Mount Sinai, but I went to med school with Der. Are you one of his sisters? Because I can't wait to meet you all. You should tell your brother to stop spending all his time at the hospital. I haven't seen him since our last date like a month ago, and I've missed him." As she said that, she nudged Derek, and put her arm around his shoulder. Derek shook her arm off, but not quick enough. A look of realization crossed Meredith's face, though Derek wasn't sure what she was thinking, before the look of intense hurt and betrayal returned. Derek's heart broke for her. _She must think I'm a terrible person, _was all he could think.

"I, uh, I'm…I'm not his sister," Meredith answered Addison's question quietly, not meeting Derek's gaze. Addison turned to look at Derek, her expression mixed with confusion and disbelief.

"Really Derek? Isn't she a little young? And the least you could have done was tell me about her."

Suddenly, Meredith stood up, her face expressionless and her voice flat. "It was, umm, nice to meet you, Addison. But I really must be going. Goodbye." Without another word, she got up and left. Derek leapt up after her, and practically ran towards the exit.

He caught up with her just as she reached the exit. "Meredith," he breathed, trying to keep his voice in control so as to not cause a scene.

"Go away," Meredith hissed, walking out of the restaurant.

"Mer, please wait," Derek pleaded, grabbing her arm gently.

Meredith yanked her arm out of his grasp as if she had been burnt, and whipped around to face him. He could see the tears welling in her eyes, but that did not stop the anger in her voice. "No," she said firmly, her eyes blazing. "How dare you? You've got a girlfriend? A gorgeous, and by the sounds of it, brilliant girlfriend. And you decide to screw around with me, try to win me over make me like you, pretending to be this perfect guy. Are you seriously that freaking cocky that you need to have two girlfriends? Seriously Derek? So no, I will not wait. Leave me alone!"

And with that, Meredith turned around, and marching down the street, leaving Derek standing on the sidewalk, his heart shattered.


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: So I appreciate all of the reviews, and some of you had strong opinions on the last chapter. I just wanted to remind you all that I have written the chapters in advance, so I'm sorry if you didn't like the last one. Yes, Meredith did get angry about Addison, and she probably overreacted, but it she wasn't just mad at Derek for that. Meredith is a very insecure person, especially more so since Derek is so much older, so having Addison appear was a way to address some things that I know I would be feeling in Meredith's place. Don't worry, Addison isn't staying long, but she brought out some feelings in Meredith in season 2 that I think apply to this situation (Meredith did describe her as Isabella Rossellini), so that's why she's here. I'm sorry if you hated the last chapter, but please keep reading and reviewing!_**

Chapter 11

"Come on Meredith, please pick up," Derek begged into the phone, which had gone into her voicemail. It was the third message he had left today, and probably the one hundredth since she left him at the restaurant last week. He needed to talk to her; he needed to explain that it wasn't what she thought, that he would never hurt her like that. He felt so empty; he hadn't realized how much he depended on talking to her every day.

"Please," he continued. "I need you to call me back. The thing with Addison isn't what you think. Please let me explain. Just let me talk to you once, and then you don't ever have to see me again if you don't want. Please call me back. I miss you Meredith." And with that, he hung up. It was ten in the morning; he'd been at the hospital since last night, and he still had another eight hours to go. This past week had been impossible. He kept getting distracted thinking about Meredith, which had landed him on scud for three days. He needed to get into a surgery soon. He needed something, anything, to distract him from the fact that he might never see Meredith again.

XXXXXX

Meredith was lying on her bed as her phone rang. She rolled over to check who it was, but seeing Derek's name; she dropped the phone and curled back into a ball. "He's so freaking persistent," Meredith muttered, her head pounding. She wasn't going to her classes today, just like she hadn't gone on Monday, due to her excessive hangover. From Thursday night after she left Derek in the rain until Sunday night, Meredith had spent the majority of her time drunk, and the rest of it asleep. She spent Monday sobering up by lying on her bed, and went to classes on Tuesday and Wednesday. Last night though, she listened to one of the eighty-six voicemails Derek had left her, and his voice alone was enough to send her into a depression, so she grabbed her bottle of tequila and tried to drown her sorrows, ignoring Cristina's advice that she would regret it in the morning.

She hated him, she really thought she did. Well, actually, she was quite certain that what she felt was the exact opposite of hatred, but she couldn't handle thinking that right now. He lied to her, even if it wasn't directly. He let her believe that he was available, when he was dating some red-head. One who was a thousand times prettier than her, and obviously smarter, and his age, and probably his type. Looking at Addison, Meredith couldn't even figure out why Derek had even bothered with her, Addison seems great, so that just makes him a jerk. One who decided to get into a freshman's pants just to say that he could. She couldn't believe that she had been that stupid; _this is the reason I don't date, _Meredith thought.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by a key turning in the lock. She glanced at the clock; it was almost seven, which meant that Cristina was out of her lab. As her friend burst through the door, Meredith slammed her eyes shut, and put her pillow over her head, hoping she would look like she was asleep. Cristina knew her too well, however, and plopped herself at the foot of Meredith's bed.

"Mer, get up. Seriously, this is getting pathetic."

"No, Cristina, I will not get up," Meredith snapped from beneath the pillow. "I'm am hung-over, I don't have to do anything."

"Meredith, you look miserable, you are miserable. Have you ever thought about, I don't know, talking to McDreamy?"

Meredith threw the pillow off of her head and stared up at Cristina. "Why would I want to talk to him? It isn't going to change anything. He's got this amazing, gorgeous girlfriend that probably doesn't have intimacy issues and daddy issues and doesn't sleep around, so talking to him isn't going to do anything except hurt and make me feel like crap. So leave me alone!" She covered her head with her pillow again and buried herself deeper under the blankets.

"Mer," Cristina tried again, her voice soft. "I really think you should talk to him. I think it would do the both of you a lot of good."

"How would it do us a lot of good? And why do you care if it would help Derek?" Meredith said apathetically, though she was intrigued.

"Because," Cristina sighed, and Meredith knew her friend had been keeping something from her. "Derek stood outside for hours this weekend, hoping you would come out and again on Monday, when he knew you would be going to class. And he just got off of a twenty-four hour shift, and he's been standing outside for an hour."

"I don't care," Meredith said automatically, though she did. Maybe he cared about her, at least a tiny bit.

"He looks like crap Meredith. Seriously. He, he looks kind of like you. Tired, sad, and he just looks dead inside. So, I think it will help you both."

"He's seriously been standing outside for days?" Meredith asked, her voice soft.

"Yeah, Izzie had to convince him to go home on Sunday night, because I'm pretty sure he would have slept out there."

"Why didn't you tell me he was out there? Why did you hide it?" Meredith suddenly became angry, she could have faced this sooner, at least tried to move on, or at least feel a little better if she called him an ass one more time.

"Because by the time we noticed him on Saturday afternoon, you were so drunk you barely knew your name. And it was the same on Sunday, and then you had a killer hangover on Monday, and you wouldn't have been able to handle it. I know you, Meredith Grey."

Meredith didn't say anything, she just looked at Cristina. Then slowly, she got up and walked towards her window, which faced the street. She looked down eight stories, and she saw him. He wasn't standing, as Cristina had said he was, but he was sitting on a bench, his head in his hands. She suddenly felt a surge of pity for him, and she wanted to see him. She had to see him.

"Fine," she said slowly, turning back to Cristina. "I'll go talk to him."

XXXXXX

On his way home from work, Derek stopped outside of Meredith's building. He knew he looked like a crazy person, but he couldn't just walk by, he really wanted to see her. He wished he could go inside, but he knew that he couldn't get passed the security guard unless he had a student ID or a resident let him in, and he knew Meredith would never let him in. he had tried on Friday, but the guard didn't get an answer from her room when he tried to buzz in. Derek checked his watch, it was only 6:20, Meredith might leave to go to the library, or if she wanted to get dinner, so he could wait for an hour.

He played a game on his phone for what seemed like a very long time before he heard a familiar voice. "What are you doing here McDreamy? I thought Izzie sent you away?"

He looked up to see Cristina glaring at him.

"Please, just let me see her. I can't just let this go, let her go." Derek begged, hoping that this would help his cause.

Cristina snorted in response. "Right, whatever. You don't tell her about your girlfriend, and you basically break her heart, and you expect me to let you talk to her? That's not going to happen."

"Addison is not my girlfriend," Derek insisted. "We went on three dates, and it wasn't anything serious. We were never exclusive, and I decided not to call her again a week and a half before I met Meredith in the bar. Please, I never lied to her, and I certainly never meant to hurt her. I probably should have told Addison that I wasn't interested, and it makes me an idiot that I didn't, but I wasn't keeping anything from her."

Cristina stared at him, as if she was weighing her options. "I will not let you in to see her," she finally said. "But I will tell her that you are out here, and that you've been out here and she can make her own decision as to whether or not she wants to see you. If she forgives you, and I'm not sure that she should, and if you work it out, you better be really good to her. Because you have completely destroyed her self-esteem. She never really had any to begin with, but you made her feel worthless. She was drunk all weekend, and all she could say was that she wasn't good enough for you, that she wasn't pretty or smart like Addison. So you better fix her."

Derek took a deep breath; he couldn't believe he had done that to Meredith, his Meredith. He hated himself for making her feel so terribly about herself, and he needed to fix it soon. "I will, I promise Cristina."

Cristina nodded, turned around, and went into her building. Derek looked around, unsure of what to do. He noticed a bench behind him, and decided it would be best to sit there. He put his head in his hands and stared at the door, hoping that she would come out. After what felt like an eternity, he finally saw her. His immediate reaction was to smile; he couldn't believe that he had gone a whole week without seeing her. But, as he took her in, he couldn't help but frown. Because she looked all wrong. She looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept in days. She was so pale, she probably hadn't eaten in a while, and the skin around her eyes looked puffy and red. When he finally looked into her eyes, even though she quickly looked down, he almost gasped. They didn't shine like they usually did. They looked dull, lifeless, and empty, and Derek knew that he had done that to her.

She approached the bench slowly, and stopped about five feet away. "Hey," he breathed, giving her a small smile.

She glanced up at him before looking back down, fear now present in her eyes. "Hey."

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Derek asked, standing up.

"Umm, no," Meredith answered softly before clearing her throat, before speaking with more confidence. "I haven't, uh, showered yet today, and I'm not really dressed for it." It was then that Derek looked down at what she was wearing. She was wearing a pair of baggy black sweatpants that were frayed at the bottom, and a purple NYU shirt that had a stain on the sleeve.

"Okay," Derek nodded, resisting the urge to grab her and hold her. "How about we go inside? We can just sit in the common room on the ground floor?"

"Yeah, okay," Meredith said, turning and walking back towards the door, not waiting for him. Derek trailed behind her, not wanting to walk beside her in case it made her uncomfortable. They entered the building, and Meredith swiped in and cleared Derek before they headed to the common room, which was luckily deserted. They sat on opposite ends of the couch, and as he watched Meredith wring her hands, he realized that he would be the one to do all of the talking.

"Meredith," he began. "I am so, so sorry that I hurt you. It is the last thing that I have ever wanted to do. Addison is not my girlfriend; we went on three dates a couple of months ago, but that was it. We weren't, at least I wasn't, serious about her, and we definitely weren't exclusive. I decided to stop seeing her almost two weeks before I met you, so we weren't dating when I came up to you in the bar. But I made a mistake. I should have formally ended things with Addison, and I didn't, because I'm an idiot and didn't think I needed too. Meredith, I am so sorry, and I know you don't trust me, but you have to believe that this has been the worst week of my life. I really care about you, and I would love it if you would give me another chance."

Meredith looked up at him, examining him cautiously before speaking. "I might have overreacted a little bit, but what else was I supposed to think when she was saying things like that and-"

"Meredith," Derek interrupted. "You don't have to apologize, and I'm not accusing you of anything. It was my mistake, and I deserved to be left at that restaurant."

"But Derek, are you sure you want to be with me?" Meredith asked; her voice filled with doubt. "Because I saw Addison, and she seems great. I mean she looks like a supermodel, and I'm just…me. And she's obviously really smart, and I'm really not, plus she's actually your age, she probably wants what you want out of life. I'm eighteen and I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself and you probably want to get married and stuff, and I'm not sure that…"

"Mer, Meredith," Derek said, grabbing her hand to cut off her rambling. "I do not want Addison; I want you, just you. I personally think that you're beautiful, way prettier than Addison and much smarter too. And I don't want to get married right now or anything; I just want what you want. I truly mean that; I'm not just saying it."

Meredith looked at their intertwined hands, thinking about what he just said. "I'm not sure if I trust you. I want to, but I'm not sure if I do. So I'm just going to try, I'm going to try and trust you. But you need to give me a little time. Because this was big. You may not have been dating her or whatever, but it made me realize things. This thing with us or relationship is a big deal for me, and the fact that you're a lot older than me scares me. Because you might want things, maybe not now, but eventually, you'll have plans. And I don't know if I'll be ready for them when you are. So, can we take it slow? Because that's what I need, slow." She looked up at him and gave him a very small smile, staring at him expectantly.

Derek smiled at her and nodded. "I will do everything in my power to get you to trust me again, and I'll never give you a reason not to. As for taking it slow, I can take it slow, I can take it incredibly slow."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Derek cleared his throat. "Umm, do you maybe want to go get dinner, or coffee? You don't have to say yes, but you just look like you haven't eaten in a while."

Meredith giggled a little, and she almost looked like her old self. "Yeah, my main sustenance has been a bottle of josé cuervo."

"So should we go get some real food for you?" Derek chuckled.

The smile left Meredith's face. "I'm not really in the mood to go out. Sorry."

Derek kept his smile in place, trying to hide his disappointment. "Alright, have a good night Meredith. Call me when you're ready." He softly kissed the top of her head as he stood up.

Meredith stood up too, and they walked towards the door. He stopped, however, when he heard Meredith say his name.

"Do you maybe want to come upstairs? I mean, Cristina's going to be there, and I have to do homework because I missed a couple of days this week, so maybe you could help me with it? We could watch tv or a movie and order pizza?"

Derek couldn't believe it; she wanted him around. Granted, they wouldn't be doing a lot of non-school related talking, but that was okay. "I'd like that."

Meredith smiled, "alright, I'm kind of gross right now, so I'll have to shower. I hope you can handle Cristina for a little while."

Derek laughed, following her to the elevator. "I think I'll manage."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The next month flew by for Meredith. She and Derek took it slow immediately after the fight; they saw each other every couple of days, just for meals or coffee. But after two weeks, Meredith had decided that taking it slow had been a stupid idea, and they were right back to where they had been before the Addison incident.

Though Meredith would deny it to anyone who asked, she knew she was falling in love with Derek Shepherd. He had worked immensely hard to get her trust back, and had been almost perfect. Except that now she was certain she was going to kill him.

"Derek I said no!" she shouted as she stomped up the stairs to his apartment, with him trailing behind her.

"Why not Meredith, just give me a reason," Derek asked, not understanding why this was such a big deal.

"Because I said so!" she snapped, opening the unlocked door. They knew that Mark would be home, and he never bothered to lock it, which led to Meredith walking in basically whenever she wanted. She threw her backpack on the table, completely ignoring Mark on the couch as she made her way to Derek's bedroom. Derek chased after, shrugging when Mark gave him a look and following her.

"Come on Mer, why are you making a big deal out of this? We could spend time together," he said, trying to show her the upside.

"No Derek, we would not be spending it together. We would be spending it with your family. Which I don't do! You know I don't do families, and I don't do holidays! This isn't just meeting your family; this is spending Thanksgiving with them! Which means your sisters husbands will be there, and your aunts and uncles, and I just can't deal with it!"

"I get that you never did before, but why can't you do it now? It's Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is just for my immediate family. My mom will love you!" Derek insisted.

"No, mothers don't love me. Mother's like bright and bubbly and happy and…Izzie! Mothers like girls like Izzie!"

"You don't know my mom! She would love you simply for the fact that you make me happy!"

Meredith snorted at that last statement. "Right, your mother is going to love the fact that an eighteen year old makes you happy. That her twenty-six year old son is sleeping with a poor college student; she's going to think that I'm with you for your money. Or that I'm trying to get pregnant so you have to marry me!"

Derek couldn't help but laugh at that one. "Meredith Grey, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Anyone who took the time to get to know you would know that you do not have a conniving or deceitful bone in your body. You would never do anything like that. In fact, if you had it your way, I think you would only keep me around for the sex."

Meredith's eyes narrowed. "You know that's not true! I do not use you for sex, and I cannot believe you would say that! If I did we wouldn't be here fighting about meeting your family, we would be having sex, and then I would be leaving! Is that what you're going to tell your mother when you try to convince her I'm not a gold digger? Because then she'll think you're dating a slut or a prostitute!"

Derek crossed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Meredith, breathe," he ordered. "Now, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. But, I do want to know why you don't want to meet my family. A real reason, not just because or because you think that they'll hate you. Please."

Meredith rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at him. "Well, I really am afraid that they won't like me. I mean, come on Derek, I'm a year younger than your baby sister; I don't think your mom is going to like that. And I mean it when I said I don't do families. I don't like families. I never had one; my mom was always working, and my father disappeared when I was five, so I practically raised myself, and up until about two months ago, I never wanted to be in a relationship. Ever. But then I met you. And, to be honest, being with you scares me to death half the time. This, us, together, is a big deal for me, and it's really great and I'm so happy with you, but it's still big for me. So, meeting your family is a little too much right now when I'm still adjusting to us." She looked down, unable to maintain eye contact with him. Meredith was scared; she had basically admitted to Derek that she wasn't sure she could do the relationship thing and couldn't be what he had hoped for. She was waiting for him to yell at her, to tell her that if she didn't want to conform to his idea of a relationship then she should just leave, and that they were done. Rationally, Meredith knew that Derek would never do that to her, at least in that way, but she couldn't help but worry.

So the fact that he pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead, made her feel a lot better. "Thank you for telling me Mer," he whispered, causing her to pull away from him.

"For telling you what? That I'm emotionally crippled and I planned on dying alone?"

"No," he laughed, giving her that look again, that look he had been giving her since they met in the bar. The one that was laced with desire, but also something else that Meredith couldn't quite put her finger on. "For being honest, for telling me exactly what was scaring you. I promised you we would go slow, and that I would do anything to get you to trust me again. And you don't have to meet my family next week, you don't have to come to Thanksgiving, you can enjoy it by yourself in Boston."

"Actually," she started. "I do not spend Thanksgiving completely alone. I'm by myself in the morning, but Cristina comes over around four and then we drink for the rest of the night and order Chinese Food. We've been doing it for four years."

"Wouldn't want to break tradition," Derek laughed as he leaned down to brush his lips against hers. They stood with their foreheads touching for a minute, Meredith thinking hard. _I have to take a step, it'll make him happy, and maybe it won't be too bad. _

"Der," she said softly, pulling away but placing her arms around his shoulders.

"Hmm," he replied as his hands rested on her waist.

"Maybe, if we can work it out, I can meet your family at Christmas. If you want, maybe I could stay at your apartment after finals end, because I'm done a week before Christmas. So, we could spend some time together, and we could go see your family for Christmas Eve Day or whatever. But, I wouldn't stay over, I would come back that day, so I can at least spend Christmas Day with my mother." She looked up at him, hoping her peace offering was enough.

Derek looked like a kid on Christmas morning, no pun intended. "Really?" he asked, his voice dripping with excitement. "Thank you Mer, that means so much to me." He kissed her hard, and Meredith kissed him back fiercely, opening her mouth so he could slip his tongue inside hers.

"Derek," Meredith half moaned as they broke apart, Derek now kissing her neck.

"Hmm?"

"You know, we technically had a fight, which means we should have makeup sex," Meredith suggested, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"I like makeup sex," Derek said into her neck as he lifted Meredith's sweater over her head, leaving her in just her black bra as he slowly backed her towards the bed.

"Hey are you guys done fighting? Because I was thinking that we cou—Oh God!" Mark walked into Derek's room as Derek was kissing the skin along the edge of Meredith's bra, Meredith's hands moving to Derek's pants as she moaned his name.

"Mark!" Derek barked and Meredith yelped, both clearly in shock. Derek pushed Meredith behind him, trying to cover her.

"What, you were yelling at each other a minute ago! How was I supposed to know that as soon as you stop yelling at each other you go at it? Plus, you didn't lock the door!"

"What do you want?"' Derek growled.

"Well, I wanted to see if you wanted to get a drink, but I guess I'm going on my own. Just please be done by the time I get back, the noises that the both of you make during sex are disturbing. And Meredith can be really loud," Mark said with a smirk, slowly backing out of the room.

Meredith turned bright red. "I'm not loud," she insisted.

"Yeah, whatever you say," Mark replied, looking her up and down. Noticing the way Mark was studying Meredith, who was still half-naked, Derek was at the door in a flash, slamming it in Mark's face and locking it.

Turning back to Meredith, he walked over to her, and pulled her to him. "Now, where were we," he said, nibbling at her ear between each world.

Meredith grinded against him, feeling his erection as her fingers tangled in his hair to ground her. "I think you know," she said, her voice a seductive whisper.

Derek responded by kissing her hard, pushing her onto the bed and climbing on top of her as she laughed.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy_******

**_A/N: Here's Chapter 13. Enjoy and please review!_**

Chapter 13

Meredith tried to fall back to sleep; but she was too on edge. She tried to focus on the past week, and how perfect it had been. She had finished finals, acing them all with Derek's help. He was more than willing to let her stay with him for the five days leading up to Christmas Eve; she didn't have the money to pay to take the train home just to come back down and leave five days later. It felt like they were playing house, and though Meredith thought it was a little weird, she had loved every minute of it. Well, not every minute, Derek had to work overnight her second night here, and she thought it would be awkward to be here without him, just her and Mark Sloan. Derek had been worried about her staying with Mark; he had even threatened to kill Mark if he looked at her funny. Though the first hour had been awkward, they found that they had a lot in common, and Derek was a little jealous when he found them joking over breakfast the next morning. Derek's jealousy didn't last long; Meredith had thrown herself into his arms when he walked in the door. The fake living together had been an experience, and while Derek admitted multiple times how great it was to have her here, Meredith kept her feelings to herself.

She loved living with him. She felt safe in his arms every night, and even enjoyed hanging around the apartment when he wasn't there. She didn't want to admit it though, because she knew that the end of this week would bring her to Long Island to meet his family. The family she was sure would hate her, or at least hate the idea of her, and then Derek would have no choice to break up with her, in order to keep his family happy. Which is why she couldn't tell him what she had been feeling for so long: that she was in love with him. That she loved living with him, that she could see a future with him. She couldn't admit these things out loud, not when she knew it was going to end in about ten hours when he dropped her off at Penn Station for the six o'clock train to Boston.

Derek began trailing kisses along her shoulders, inhaling deeply and pulling her close to him. "Why are you awake? It's only eight o'clock." His voice was low and sleep filled, something Meredith found incredibly sexy.

"Mmm not awake," Meredith mumbled, trying her best to pretend he had just woke her up.

He laughed softly at that, his lips now caressing her neck. "Mer, you've been here a week, I can tell when you're sleeping and when you aren't. Plus, the fact that you stopped snoring about twenty minutes ago was a giveaway."

"Shut up," She said as she swatted his arm, which was still resting over her waist, but she turned to face him, cuddling closer into his arms, trying to ignore his very prominent erection.

"Hey," he said into her hair, causing her to look up at him. He offered her a comforting smile, kissing her on the forehead. "Everything's going to be fine; you have nothing to worry about."

She sighed, wishing she was better at hiding her emotion. "You know me too well," she said into his chest, looking down again.

"I know I do. And I also know my mom. She's going to love you."

Meredith shook her head, but didn't say anything, she didn't believe him. She looked up at him, forcing a smile as she reached up to kiss him softly. "Merry Christmas Eve."

Derek smiled down at her, giving her their look, which she found comforting. "Merry Christmas Eve," he whispered, capturing her lips again. He deepened the kiss; her mouth easily parting for him so his tongue could slip into her. She moaned against his lips as one of his hands wandered to her breasts, softly caressing them before continuing downwards towards her folds, finding her already wet as he ran his fingers over her mound.

Meredith gasped in pleasure, tearing herself away from his lips to trail kisses down his neck. "Christmas sex?" she said into his neck, running her hands through his hair.

"Yes," Derek groaned, climbing on top of her. "But it needs to be quick, we have to get ready."

"Quick," Meredith repeated as she grabbed a condom off of Derek's night table and slipping it on his shaft before looping her legs around his waist and raising her hips, silently begging for him to be inside her.

Pushing her hair out of her face, Derek leaned down to kiss her softly, entering her slowly. They both moaned, reveling at their union. As he began to move in and out of her slowly, Meredith raised her hips in unison, helping to set the pace. Soon he moved faster within her, and Meredith squirmed, unable to control her movements as her body became warmer, a tingle spreading. He sped up again, and Meredith knew he was coming closer to the edge. Searing their lips together again, she felt Derek's hand move between their sweaty bodies to rub her clitoris, giving her a more intense orgasm. She felt herself clamping around him, the feeling so intense she couldn't help but cry out his name. Still trembling, she felt Derek twitch inside of her, thrusting into her one last time before collapsing on top of her.

Breathless, Meredith said "Christmas sex…wow…great present."

She felt Derek's chest rumble as he laughed at her, shifting to the side. "One we both got to enjoy." He slid out of her, kissed her, and slowly got out of bed, offering her his hand. "Come on, I'll make breakfast while you get ready." She stared at him again, and she knew there was fear in her eyes. Trying to control her emotions, she offered him a small smile before taking his hands and letting him pull her out of bed. When she stood facing him, she ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him into her so she could kiss him passionately, pouring all the love she felt for him into it, just in case she never got the chance to say it. Stunned for a second, he kissed her back with equal vigor, pressing himself against her. Breaking apart, she looked up at him, into the eyes that made her feel safe; forcing herself, for him, to believe that today would go well. "Today's going to be great," she said, looking up at him.

He smiled at her. "Today is going to be great," he repeated.

XXXXXX

Derek slowed at the stop sign, and snuck a glance to his right. Meredith was staring straight ahead, wringing her hands, like she always did when she was nervous. He noticed her hands were shaking a little, which made Derek a little anxious; he had never seen her so scared before. She was very insecure about their relationship, he had always known that, but this was a whole new level of freaking out, and he wasn't sure how to help her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her he loved her, he really loved her, but he couldn't. She would freak out even more, he was sure of it. On top of the family issues, he was sure that some guy screwed her up. When Derek had asked about it the previous week, Meredith visibly tensed, but told him again that she had never had a boyfriend before, it had just been about sex, so no guy could have messed with her head. But, she hadn't quite met his gaze as she said it, so he knew she was lying.

Rather than tell her he loved her, Derek grabbed her hand as they pulled up to his house, stopping the car. Meredith looked up at the house, her face filled with worry at the looming structure before her. Derek cut the engine, and ran to her side of the car, opening the door and helping her out. He pulled her into his arms quickly, kissing the top of her head before whispering in her ear. "They will like you. Just be yourself, and they really will. No matter what, you'll always have me."

Meredith pulled away from him, her face filled with doubt, but she grabbed his hand and they walked towards the door together, handing her the presents they had bought for his family. The door swung open before they reached the steps, a short woman with dark brown hair standing in front of them. Derek squeezed Meredith's hand, hoping that it was reassuring enough to calm her down.

"Derek!" his mother called, heading down the stairs, pulling him into a hug and causing him to let go of Meredith's hand. "How are you? How's work?"

"It's good Ma, they keep me busy," Derek said, stepping backwards and lacing his fingers through Meredith's once again. "Mom, this is my girlfriend Meredith Grey. Mer, this is my mother."

Meredith smiled, and though one might think it was sincere, Derek knew it was a smile she only gave if she was nervous. "It is very nice to meet you Mrs. Shepherd," she said, her voice only shaking slightly. She stuck her hand out, but instead his mother hugged her.

"Please Meredith, call me Carolyn," the woman said as she stepped back, studying her. "Derek would not stop talking about you at Thanksgiving; I'm so excited to finally meet you!"

Meredith glared at Derek for a moment, and he could feel himself blushing as he shrugged. His mother was not supposed to tell her how much he talked about her; and he knew he could talk about her forever. "I, uh, I hope they were all good things," Meredith stuttered, thrown off by Carolyn's words.

"Don't worry dear," Carolyn said, sensing Meredith's discomfort. "All he could do was praise you, you could do no wrong in his eyes."

Meredith rolled her eyes as Carolyn looped her arm in Meredith's leading her towards the house. "He can be kind of cheesy sometimes," she laughed, and Derek grinned at just how relaxed she seemed. His mother looked at him, nodding slightly as she smiled, and Derek grinned. His mother liked Meredith, really liked her. And nothing made him happier than following two of the most important people in his life into his childhood home, even if it meant he had to carry the bags of presents.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

Chapter 14

Derek watched as Meredith was introduced to most of his family who were gathered in the living room. Nancy smirked at Derek, noting how young she looked, but was perfectly civil to Meredith, meaning that age didn't really matter to her. Kathleen offered her a warm hug, while Elizabeth was very friendly to her. Meredith then met his two brothers in laws, James and Andrew, Nancy and Kathleen's husbands, respectively, as well as three nieces and his nephew. If Meredith seemed overwhelmed, she hid it well; her grip on his arm loosening with each smiling face. As they walked away from Andrew, Derek heard a familiar voice announce his arrival.

Though Meredith seemed relaxed before, Mark's voice definitely loosened her up more than she already was. Derek didn't miss this; he pulled her close to him, his hand resting protectively on her waist. "If I didn't know any better," he whispered into her ear. "I would say that you're more excited to see Mark than spend time with me."

Meredith laughed, looking up at him. "I'm just glad someone I know, that I really know, besides you, is here." She then nudged closer to him, running her hand through his hair and pulling him closer to him, so her mouth was near his ear. "Plus," she whispered, her mouth on his earlobe. "You're extremely hot when you're jealous," Meredith finished before kissing his neck.

"Good to know," Derek choked out, pulling away from her so he could resist the temptation to rip her dress off in the hallway.

"Hey Derek, Meredith," Mark boomed, approaching them. "Where's Amy? She's the only one I haven't seen."

"Mom said she got home about an hour ago, and she says she's getting ready. I'm sure if you go to her room you'll find her passed out recuperating," Derek said shortly, rolling his eyes.

Meredith looked up at him questionably. "What do you mean Derek; I don't get to meet your other sister?"

Derek sighed deeply. "No, Mer, you'll meet her in about ten minutes. It's just that Amy's a little wild; she'll probably be hung over when she comes downstairs."

"That sounds like a majority of my holidays," Meredith said, trying to joke, but Derek didn't mistake the worry and hurt in her eyes as he realized that Meredith spent her fair share of holidays under the influence.

"Be that as it may," Derek said, trying to keep his tone light as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, "your fondness for tequila pales in comparison to Amy's dependence on pain killers."

"Oh, yeah, I guess it does," Meredith said softly as Carolyn entered the living room, shooing them all into the dining room. It was then that Derek heard someone come down the stairs. She had straight dark hair, the exact same shade as Derek's. Everyone had always said that Amelia looked an awful lot like him, and though usually Derek could see it, the sullen expression on her twenty year old face made her almost unrecognizable to him. She didn't acknowledge anyone as she slumped into her chair, and Derek hoped that Amelia would just stay quiet during their meal, and not try to torture Meredith.

They all sat down, and after leading grace, Carolyn turned her attention to Meredith once again. "So Meredith," she began. "Derek tells me that you go to NYU, but that's all he'll tell me about that. When are you graduating, and what is your major?"

Meredith glanced at Derek with panic in her eyes. Derek smiled at her, and rubbed his hand up her thigh to comfort her. After giving her a reassuring nod, she cleared her throat and looked at Carolyn.

"Well, I'm a biology major, because I want to be a doctor. Well, actually, I think I want to be a surgeon. But not because of Derek or anything. My mother was a surgeon, a really great surgeon, but she isn't the reason I want to be a surgeon either. I mean, I basically grew up in a hospital, so I got to watch all of these surgeries, and I loved them, so…" As cute as Derek thought her rambling was, he noticed that his family was staring at her curiously because of how fast she was talking, so he once again squeezed her leg in order to calm her down. Meredith stopped talking, looking at him. Then, realizing how much she was rambling, her face turned a deep red before she mumbled an apology.

Carolyn smiled at her. "Well, it's good that you know what you want in life. Have you applied to any med schools yet? Derek went to Columbia, as you know, and they have an excellent program." Carolyn turned to Derek, her face full of pride.

"I-I'm uh, no," Meredith stuttered. "I um, don't need to worry about that yet. It's just that I have a long way to go before I even consider that because I'm a, uh, I'm a freshman," Meredith confessed in one breath, blushing again and looking down at her lap.

Derek looked at everyone at the table, studying their expressions. Nancy was smirking again, obviously amused at how nervous Meredith was. Kathleen looked surprised, and Liz confused. Amelia had finally looked up from her food, and was staring at Meredith and Derek, her expression unreadable. At first, his mother looked surprised, but then a soft smile graced her face.

"Well my dear," Carolyn said, causing Meredith to finally look up at her, her cheeks still red. "You seem to be very focused and driven, especially for someone so young; those are excellent qualities to have. They make you seem older than you are." Derek felt Meredith visible relax next to him. She glanced at him quickly, and he gave her a small nod, reading her mind. His mother had accepted her, and was not going to make a big deal out of it. Amy was still staring at the two of them, and he could see that her expression was changing from unreadable to disbelief, with maybe a hint of anger. Derek chose to ignore her as Liz spoke up.

"Wait, how did you guys meet again?" she asked, confused. "I thought Derek said you two met in a bar, but you obviously aren't old enough to drink. Sorry, I'm just curious."

"Oh," Meredith said cautiously; she was clearly unsure of the nature of the question. "We did meet in a bar, not that I was drinking. It was one really close to campus, so it was eighteen plus. I wasn't drinking; I had just moved in, and orientation was starting the next day, so my friend and I just wanted to go out. Not that I ever drink anyway, because I'm underage, crap…"

Kathleen laughed, "Der, how do you get a word in edgewise with Meredith around? Though it does explain your recent ramblings."

Meredith giggled. "You ramble now? Have I ruined you?" she asked, turning to Derek.

"Maybe a little," Derek joked. "But, I like to keep you around because you ramble a whole lot more than me."

"Bet that's not the only reason you keep her around," a voice muttered to Derek's left. Whipping around, he saw Amelia staring back at him, anger in her eyes.

"What did you say?" Derek snapped, the air at the table becoming very tense.

"You're such a hypocrite Derek!" Amelia exclaimed. "You're dating a girl that is barely eighteen. She's eight years younger than you. She's younger than me! And when I was dating a twenty-two year old last year, you almost kicked his ass because a three year age difference was apparently too much for me!"

"I did not kick his ass because he was three years older than you," Derek said, raging boiling inside of him. "I kicked his ass because he was a drug addict and he was bad for you!"

"You don't get to tell me what's bad for me!" Amelia shouted. "You haven't been living her since you went Bowdoin, but whenever you've come to visit you try to control me like I'm a baby. And then you waltz in here with a teenager and expect us all not to find it a little ridiculous? You're out of your mind!"

"Amelia!" Carolyn said loudly, not wanting to raise her voice. Amelia shoved her chair back and stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?"

"To see Dad!" Amelia called out as the front door slammed. The silence in the room was deafening; no one knew quite how to respond. Derek turned to Meredith, but she wasn't looking at him. Everyone had finished eating; they were just sitting there in shocked silence. Finally, Carolyn spoke, "why don't you all head into the living room? We can have dessert and exchange presents quickly before Meredith needs to leave."

Everyone stood up, exiting the dining room. But as Meredith got up to leave, Derek grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the room with him. "What?" she said, but she wouldn't make eye contact. Tilting her chin up, he saw that she was close to tears, once again filled with doubts about them.

"Mer, what's wrong?" Derek asked, his hands resting on her hips.

"Your sister hates me! And the rest of them probably do too, Amelia was just the only one brave enough to say it!" Her lower lip was trembling, and all Derek could think to do was put his hands on her cheek, and kiss her softly.

"They do not hate you," he said firmly. "My mother likes you, and Nancy, Kathleen, and Liz do too. Amelia doesn't hate you, she's just been angry a lot the past couple of years, and she keeps getting into trouble. So, she's just taking it out on you. So don't worry about it, okay?"

She nodded up at him, offering him a small smile before she leaned in and kissed him again. "Wait, didn't Amelia say she was going to see your Dad? I thought he had died."

"Mhmm,"Derek sighed before continuing. "It means she's going to the cemetery. It's something the two of us used to together, because we were both there when it happened. It's become a place for us to think, all of us."

"Oh, okay. I was just wondering. I hope it isn't too personal or something."

"Mer," he said, shaking his head and smiling down at her. "You can ask me anything, I want you to know everything." He brushed his lips against hers once more before pulling away from her. "Come on, let's go see what they got us for Christmas."

XXXXXX

Derek and Meredith were in the lobby of Penn station, waiting for the track number of Meredith's train to be announced. He hated the fact that she was leaving, and that he wouldn't see her for about two weeks. She had fit in well with his family; she loosened up a lot when it came time to open presents, and was ecstatic when she found out that the Shepherds cared about her enough to get her something too. He knew the Dunkin Donuts and NYU bookstore gift cards would be put to good use, and his mother was touched by how thankful she was. The two of them had decided to exchange presents by themselves, and figured that it would be good to do right before she left. So, they sat on a bench, each holding a gift in hand.

"Here," Meredith said suddenly, shoving an envelope and a small package into his hand. Derek opened the envelope first, looking at the Christmas card quickly before opening it, a smile stretching across his face.

"You got me Yankees tickets?" he asked in disbelief. He hadn't been to a game since he was ten; he used to go with his father. He hadn't wanted to go for a while after his father's death, and now ticket prices were too expensive, plus working at the hospital made it hard to get nights off.

"Yeah, I know how much you love baseball, and I got them early enough so you could be sure to get the night off, I mean, five months is a good enough notice, right?" He interrupted her by kissing her deeply, not caring about the packed station.

"Thank you Mer," he said as they finally pulled away. "This is so great!"

"And, I was thinking, I know you probably want to take Mark, but the game is in the beginning of May, so I'll still be here. And, they're playing the Sox, so I was thinking, if we're still together or whatever, that I could go with you?"

"Of course you're coming!" he laughed. "You'll be much more fun than Mark anyway."

"Good. Now open the present," Meredith demanded.

"You're very, very bossy," Derek said jokingly.

"Keeps you in line," Meredith murmured into his ear.

Derek tore the wrapping carefully, and as he opened the box, he frowned. "Meredith, I think you bought the wrong thing. This is a Red Sox shirt."

Meredith laughed at him. "It is also your attire for when we go to the game."

Derek looked at her quite seriously. "I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt. But you feel free to where it. Preferably with nothing else underneath."

"I already have a jersey, but I'll consider your request." Derek kissed her on the cheek before handing her a gift bag. She first pulled out a light purple dress, and smiled at Derek. "I love that color on you, and you only have that one sweater." She reached into the bag again, pulling out a new clutch purse. It was similar to the one she already had, but new pattern. "I noticed that a lot of girls around campus carry that around because it holds your ID and phone and money," Derek answered her questioning gaze. "Plus, I have a fond memory of you calling me at one in the morning, drunk and upset that you spilled beer all over it." She laughed at him, kissing him softly.

"Thank you," she whispered, smiling sweetly.

"Oh there's one more thing," Derek said. "Though I recommend that you be careful with it."

Meredith reached in again, and grabbed something familiar and pulled it out. "Tequila," she said, raising her eyebrows in disbelief. "Dr. Shepherd, are you seriously supporting underage drinking? You're giving your underage girlfriend a bottle of tequila?"

"Now that you put it like that," he said, reaching for the bottle before she swatted his hand away, holding it tightly. "I figured it would be the best present I could get you, besides the sex this morning," he winked before continuing. "Plus, I really like drunk Meredith, but I would like her to be careful. If you go out and use this over break, promise me that there won't be other boys." As he said this, he pulled her closer, so that she was sitting on his lap.

She stared into his eyes. "No other boys," she promised, before leaning in and kissing him slowly. "Thank you Derek, I had a great time today with your family and Mark."

"Me too," looking into her eyes, Derek realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to tell her he loved her. And as he thought that, he decided he could not hold it in any longer, because he really did love her, and he wanted her to know. "Mer, I-" but he was cut off at the sound of Meredith's train approaching. She climbed out of his lap, and grabbed her bags, heading towards the platform. Derek followed her, intent on telling her.

As she reached the entrance, she turned around, and threw herself into his arms. This caught him off guard, even more so by the fact that when she pulled away, there were tears in her eyes. "I'm really going to miss you Derek," she said, kissing him hard. Derek pulled her closer, as close as she could be, kissing her back eagerly. The rational part of his brain knew that she would only be gone two weeks, but the rest of him knew that even that was too long.

She finally pulled away, and whispered breathlessly, "Merry Christmas Derek, I'll call you tomorrow."

He kissed her again on the lips before answering, "Merry Christmas Meredith." She let go of his hand and boarded the train. It wasn't until the train pulled away that Derek remembered that he hadn't told her he loved her. He felt empty; he had wanted her to know before she left. He didn't know why, but he had to tell her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

**A/N: How good was the premiere last night? I feel so bad for Meredith, so I thought I'd post a happy update. Please read, review, and enjoy!**

Chapter 15

Meredith had never really liked Christmas, but after yesterday, she might have changed her mind. She enjoyed herself at the Shepherd's house; the day she spent yesterday was a lot better than today. She was currently sitting on her couch watching some Christmas special. Her mother had gone to the hospital early this morning, leaving her presents on the kitchen table. She got a gift card to her favorite store, a new calendar for her desk at school, and money. Pretty normal gifts by her mother's standpoint, nothing too personal. She had left a note for Meredith, saying that she would be back around nine, and giving her money for takeout if she wanted it. So Meredith sat in her pajamas in her living room at ten thirty in the morning with a bottle of wine, trying to curb the loneliness she was feeling.

She couldn't believe that she already missed Derek; she had seen him less than twenty-four hours ago. They usually went days seeing each other while she was at school, so this shouldn't be any harder. She thought it might be the distance thing. At school, they always knew they were within walking distance of each other, now they were four hours away.

She should call him, she really wanted to. But, it's only ten thirty, he's probably having breakfast with his family, and she would just interrupt. But, as if he read her mind, Meredith's phone when off, and seeing that it was Derek calling, she whipped her phone open to answer.

"Hello," she said, trying to sound casual.

"Merry Christmas Meredith," his warm voice came through.

"Merry Christmas Derek. What's up? Isn't it a little early to be calling?" She was glad he had called, really freaking happy, but she didn't want to seem desperate.

"Well, I found one of my presents for you in the car after I dropped you off at the train station, so I had to overnight it. Did you get it yet?"

"Umm, hold on, let me check," Meredith opened her front door, but found the porch empty. "Nope, there's nothing here Der."

"It's something you need to sign for, so they wouldn't just leave it on the porch. Hopefully it'll be there soon. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you planned on going out at all," Derek explained.

"Nope, I'm going to be home all day. What did you get me? Because Derek, the gifts yesterday were great, I really don't need anything else."

"Oh I think you do," Derek said, laughing a little. "And I'm almost positive that you'll like it."

"Can you please tell me what it is?" Meredith whined, hoping he would give in.

"Nope," Derek laughed.

"Mean," Meredith pouted.

"I know. Hey listen, I have to go, my mom wants me to come inside. I'll call you tonight okay?"

"Sure," Meredith sighed, wishing he could talk more. "Bye Derek."

"Bye Meredith," he said before hanging up.

About a half an hour later, Meredith was dozing on the couch when she heard the doorbell ring. "Crap," she muttered as she half fell off the couch. "Coming!" she called as she reached the door, yanking it open.

She stood at the door for a moment, processing what was in front of her. Surely, she was hallucinating. Because she just talked to Derek a half an hour ago, where he said he was at his mother's house. So there was no way he could be standing in front of her now.

But he was. He was holding a red bow, and was wearing his red good looking shirt, and a pair of khakis. He was smiling, but as she kept staring at him, his smiled faltered. "Hey," he said, though it sounded more like a question.

At the sound of his voice, Meredith jumped into his arms. He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She kissed him suddenly, causing him to gasp, which gave her the opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth. After what seemed like an hour, they broke apart, their foreheads touching as they tried to catch their breath, Derek still holding her up.

"What are you doing here?" she panted.

"Bringing you your other Christmas present," he smiled, kissing her again. It was then that he felt the chill of the Boston winter, and Meredith shivered. He carried her into the house, navigating through the unfamiliar house until he found the living room. He sat them down together, so that she was straddling him.

"No, seriously, what are you doing here?" Meredith knew Derek; he loved spending time with his family. He would only leave them to come see her if it was something important.

"Seriously, I missed you," he responded kissing her cheek. "Plus, I wanted to tell you something yesterday, and I forgot." He moved downward, kissing her neck.

"Hmhmm, and why couldn't you call me?" Meredith half moaned, leaning into him.

"Do you want me to leave?" Derek breathed into her neck, making a move to get away.

"No!" Meredith whined, leaning into him and gripping his hair. Derek laughed and pulled away from her, looking at her in the way he always did.

"Can I talk please?" Derek asked, and Meredith simply nodded. She figured he wasn't breaking up with her, or he probably wouldn't want her sitting on his lap like that, and he wouldn't have been kissing her neck a moment ago.

"Alright," he began. "Well, I'm not really good at this kind of stuff, but here it goes. Please don't freak out, or run away, because this is big, but I've wanted to tell you for a while. And it's okay to be scared, and you don't have to do or say anything, but I can't not tell you."

As much as she didn't want to freak out, Meredith couldn't help it. He made everything seem so serious and intense, and she just wanted him to get it over with it.

Derek took a deep breath, and looked at her intensely, once again giving her their look. "I love you Meredith Grey. I've been in love with you... forever."

Meredith gasped. She knew she loved him, but she couldn't believe that he felt the same way. She studied his face, looking for uncertainty or untruthfulness, but found none. His gaze was steady, and she could tell he loved her by that look in his eyes. It was their look; Meredith finally pieced together what it was that made it so intense. Desire was always the primary emotion in their looks; they always found themselves wanting the other. However, Meredith had always sensed that there was something else in their looks that added to its meaning, making it more sincere. And it was love. He really loved her; it wasn't about sex or having fun, he truly cared about her.

Meredith didn't say anything, and she saw fear flicker across Derek's face for a moment. She leaned in and kissed him passionately, running her fingers through his hair. She smiled as they pulled apart. "And I love you, Derek Shepherd," she said confidently.

Meredith could have sworn she had never seen Derek smile so brightly in all the time she knew him, and she could feel him smiling as she felt his lips on hers again. He ran his hands up and down her body as they kissed, and she pressed herself into him. When they were forced to pull apart to breathe, she buried her face in his neck. "How long can you stay?"

"My train leaves at eight, so I'll need to leave around 7:30," he murmured, his fingers playing with her hair. "What time does your mom come home? Will it be alright that I'm here?"

"The Ellis Grey doesn't have time for holidays," Meredith said sarcastically. "She'll be at the Mass Gen until nine, so you won't get to meet her. What about your family? They won't be mad that you ditched them to come see me. I mean, you did just see me yesterday, and I don't know the last time you saw your family…"

Derek silenced her with a kiss. "My mother understood completely. She really liked you Mer, and she wants me to be happy, so she was perfectly content with me coming all the way up here to tell you that I love you."

She felt like someone squeezed her heart when he said he loved her again. She liked when he said it, but she was worried. "Um, Derek? I know you're a big romantic and cheesy guy or whatever, but I'm not. I've never done the boyfriend thing, and I definitely have never told anyone that I loved them. And I do; I love you, in a really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. But, I'm not the girl that will say it all the time. So please don't get mad if I don't say it enough."

He nodded, "Meredith, I get it. Say it when you feel comfortable, I don't want to push you or force you." His smile turned playful as he scanned the living room. "You know, I've never been to your house before, I think you should give me the grand tour."

Meredith smirked, understanding what he was hinting at. "Well, the only room of interest would be my bedroom, and that would be upstairs…" she whispered into his ear, nibbling on it. With that, Derek stood up and ran up the stairs with Meredith in his arms, both of them laughing.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Hey guys, thank you so much for reading, I hope you're enjoying the story. If you have any suggestions for how teh story should go or plot points you'd like to see, just let me know!_

Chapter 16

Derek was never sure he had been more content in his life. He traced patterns up and down Meredith's arms as she lay next to him. They had been in bed for hours; it was almost five o'clock. Meredith's eyes opened as her stomach growled, and she looked up at him, giving him a guilty look.

"Hungry?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her.

"Worked up an appetite," she joked. She pushed his shoulder so that he was lying on his back as she straddled him.

"I hope I had something to do with that," he winked.

"Oh of course you did," she said, kissing him again, a little bit harder this time.

Derek moaned into her mouth. "I love you."

She pulled back slightly, but didn't look away. "I love you too," she said softly before her stomach growled again.

"So, I guess you're too hungry for another round?"

Meredith's expression feigned seriousness. "Yes, seven rounds in six hours is enough. Plus, I'm going to be sore tomorrow; we tried some very interesting positions today," she couldn't help but laugh at this. "So let's get food." She climbed off of him, reaching for a long t-shirt and shorts.

"What were you planning on eating today? You're mom isn't home, did she leave you food?" Derek asked as he pulled on his khakis and his shirt, leaving it unbuttoned.

"She gave me money, I was just going to get pizza or something," Meredith shrugged.

Derek was taken aback by this; not only did Ellis leave her alone on Christmas, but she let her fend for herself, not even giving her a real Christmas dinner. "We are not ordering food, I will make you dinner," Derek said firmly.

"Are you sure we'll have enough time? You need to leave in like two and a half hours." Meredith asked.

"Well, we'll see what's in your fridge first, but I'll come up with something for us to eat," he said as he followed Meredith into the kitchen.

After searching the fridge and the cabinets, Derek settled on making boneless chicken breasts and instant stuffing. Meredith pulled herself onto the counter by the sink, swinging her legs as she watched him work. He could feel her eyes on him, but every time he looked at her, she just smiled in response. After he put the chicken in the oven and set the timer, he walked over to her and stood between her legs, his hands on her knees. "Yes?" he asked, staring at her as she smiled at him, their eyes level.

"Nothing," she giggled, leaning in to kiss him lightly. "I'm just watching you work."

"This is not working; this is providing basic necessities for me and my girlfriend. Honestly, I don't know how you managed to survive with so little food in your house. Though it does explain why you can't cook, and why you're so tiny."

She hit his chest, trying to push him away. "Shut up! I'll have you know that I can make grilled cheese. And cereal, and that's all anyone really needs."

Derek rubbed his hands up and down her thighs, laughing at how innocent she seemed. "You're adorable, did you know that?"

Meredith blushed and looked down quickly before giving him a disbelieving look. "Sure, whatever you say," she said sarcastically.

He leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. "No seriously," he said against her lips. "You're also incredibly hot." With that, he kissed her harder, his hands gripping her hips as he pulled her forward on the counter so that she was pressed against him.

Meredith let out an involuntary moan. "When's the chicken going to be ready?" she murmured as she locked her legs around his waist, pinning him close to her.

"Half an hour," Derek grunted, his hands moving to her shirt. "Plenty of time."

"Yes," Meredith agreed as Derek pulled her shirt over her head. Meredith ran her hands down his chest, his shirt still unbuttoned. Derek's fingers ran along her waist, skimming the top of her athletic shorts. His hand slipped beneath the waistband, and pushed her panties to the side, stroking her.

"Derek," Meredith gasped, becoming aroused. "Derek, please," she moaned as he stroked her before he slipped his fingers inside, her hips bucking as he moved in and out. Derek loved watching her become more and more aroused. Her head rolled back, hitting the cabinets behind her.

It was then that Derek heard a car door slam. Meredith's head snapped forward, her eyes wide. "Crap!" she said, shoving Derek away, and hopping off the counter.

Derek looked at her, not understanding what had just happened. "Mer?" he asked. He watched as she scrambled around, running her fingers through her hair as she grabbed her shirt, throwing it over her head.

"Fix your shirt now!" she said exasperatedly.

"What's wrong?" It was then that he heard a key turn in the lock.

"My mother is home. Crap, she's really early!" Derek's eyes widened in response. "Crap," he agreed, frantically buttoning his shirt as a voice rang through the house.

"Meredith?" the voice rang through the house. It sounded clipped and impersonal, like coming home was a chore.

"In here Mom," she called out, but to Derek she whispered "be careful what you say to her. One minute she's fabulous, and the next she's the enemy."

"I'm meeting the enemy?" Derek asked, looping his arms around her waist, leaning in to kiss her. Meredith, however, jumped from his arms, and moved to the opposite side of the room.

"Yes," she hissed, and footsteps grew increasingly louder.

"You're being ridiculous," Derek joked.

"I am not being ridiculous," Meredith said softly, pleading at him with her eyes.

"Ok, it's going to be fine!" Derek tried to reassure her.

"Just be careful, she has ways," Meredith said as the kitchen door swung open. Derek turned towards the sound as a woman entered. She was in her mid-forties, her hair the same color as Meredith's, though much shorter. And instead of Meredith's wide, kind eyes, hers were hard and cold, void of emotion. Her mouth was set in a thin line, making her appear uptight. Derek turned to Meredith, and noticed that she was wringing her hands again, but not understanding why she was nervous; it was just her mother.

"Hey Mom," Meredith said, in a voice that sounded nothing like her. This voice was higher, nervous, as though she was afraid to speak at all. "Merry Christmas."

"Good afternoon Meredith," the woman looked at her quickly, before noticing Derek. Her eyes narrowed as she snapped "Who is this?"

Derek opened his mouth, but Meredith spoke quickly. "Mom, this is Derek Shepherd, my uh, boyfriend. Derek, this is Ellis Grey, my mother." Ellis's eyes widened at the word boyfriend, and Derek figured she was somewhat aware of Meredith's past experience with men.

"Boyfriend, I see," Ellis said as she stared intently at Derek. "You look older. What year are you?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Grey, but I'm not a student. I am actually a first year surgical resident at NYU Medical Center." Derek stole a glance at Meredith, but she wasn't looking at him. She was focused on her mother, as if trying to predict her response.

"Really?" Ellis asked, both shocked and seemingly angry. "An intern? And what do you think you're doing with my daughter? She just finished her first semester of college, she doesn't need someone like you to make her distracted or unfocused, she does that to herself."

"I didn't realize that Meredith was a freshman when we met, and I try my best not to distract her, we don't see each other too often, what with her being in class and working at NYU Medical." Derek tried to explain, hoping to make the situation better. However, the way Ellis spoke about Meredith, as though she wasn't in the room, made him angry. He took a few steps back to stand next to Meredith, so that he could see her better.

"Is this relationship, if you could call it that, all about sex then? Surely Dr. Shepherd, you did not just meet my daughter on the street. I'm sure she was at a bar or a club, partying the night away rather than focusing on school. You never change, do you Meredith?"

The words cut through Derek like a knife. How dare anyone speak about Meredith like that, especially her own mother. Derek reached for Meredith's hand, but she pulled away. He turned around to fully face her, and he was suddenly transported back two months, to their fight about Addison. Her face was empty and dead; she looked defeated. He realized that Meredith was not about to stick up for herself, so he would have to be the one to do it.

"Dr. Grey, I am well aware that the fact that I am eight years older than your daughter causes some concern, but I want you to know that I truly care about Meredith, and I would never let her schoolwork slide for me. She made Dean's List this semester, acing almost all of her classes. I came up here today to spend the day with her, which should show you how much she means to me. This may not make sense to you, but she is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, regardless of how you may view her."

Ellis stared at him for a moment, before turning towards the oven. "What are you making?"

"Chicken breast and stuffing. I felt as though Meredith should have a real Christmas dinner."

Ellis ignored Derek's snide comment before continuing. "You are not staying tonight?" It sounded more like a statement than a question, but Derek responded as such anyway.

"No ma'am, I plan on taking the eight o'clock train to New York, so I will be leaving in approximately two hours to catch my train. I'll call a cab."

Ellis simply nodded before turning around. "Let me know when dinner is ready. Meredith, I'll be in my den."

"Okay Mom," Meredith called after her, before turning to look at Derek tentatively, as if she were afraid he was going to run.

Instead, Derek pulled her into his arms, his lips resting on her forehead. When he finally pulled away, he looked down at her, smiling. "See, that wasn't so bad."

Meredith looked up at him in disbelief. "You're not running?"

"Nope, I don't plan on running. Your mother may be a little worse than I imagined, but I can deal with that. But I have a question. Where did your mother think you were last week? Did she even know when you got out of school?"

Meredith smiled up at him. "You are amazing," she said, kissing him. "I'm not sure when my mom thought I got out of school. I just called to let her know I was staying in New York for an extra week. She didn't really question it," Meredith shrugged, before changing the subject completely. "You took a cab here?"

He laughed at her. "How else do you think I got here?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't really think about it I guess. But let me drive you to the train station. That way you won't have to waste any more money."

"First of all, I didn't waste any money; it was well worth it to come see you. Secondly, you don't have to drive me to the train if you don't want to; I don't want to be a burden."

"Are you kidding?" Meredith laughed. "You would not be a burden, you would actually be saving me from a torturous hour with my mother."

"So, I'm your knight in shining armor?" he leaned down, kissing her deeply.

"Yes," Meredith breathed against his lips before kissing him again. "You are my knight in shining…whatever," she finished as he ran his lips down her neck.

XXXXX

The drive to the station was easy and reminiscent of last night. Dinner with Dr. Grey had gone smoothly; she asked him questions about his internship, and was very curious about what the attendings at NYU were doing. She barely spoke to Meredith, however, which made Derek angry. She only asked her a couple of questions about school before turning her attention back to surgery and medicine.

"So," Derek asked as Meredith pulled into a parking spot. "Do you think your mom likes me?"

"Are you kidding me?" Meredith snorted as she got out of the car, reaching for his hand. "She loved you. I've never seen her so polite to anyone. She was completely focused on you; when Cristina comes over, my mother just ignores her."

"Good," Derek said, nodding as they reached his platform. "I'm glad I have her in my corner." The train was already there, and passengers were boarding. Meredith turned into him, hugging him fiercely.

"Do I really have to say goodbye tonight, or are you going to show up on my doorstep again tomorrow?" she joked as she pulled back slightly.

"Unfortunately, I have work tomorrow at seven, so I won't be here, no matter how badly I want to." He kissed her slowly and passionately, ignoring the people milling around. When they broke apart, he placed his forehead against hers. "Merry Christmas Mer."

"Merry Christmas," she whispered back.

"I'll call you tomorrow night alright?" She nodded as he kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, hugging him again. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," he said as he let go of her, walking towards the train, smiling as he waved back at her before disappearing onto a car.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's been a while, but I've been really busy with school, and my banked chapters are dwindling, so I had to slow down with the updating. I hope to write a lot this weekend, and I'll update again really soon. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter, I think it's cute if I do say so myself.**_

_**As always, please read, review, and enjoy!**_

Chapter 17

Meredith groaned as her alarm went off, cursing the fact that she had to wake up at an ungodly hour. However, today was Valentine's Day, and as much as she didn't do Valentine's Day, Derek did, so she had to wake up at six in the morning for breakfast.

Derek had to work overnight today, and he when he told her, he was genuinely upset at the thought of missing their first Valentine's Day together. He looked so hurt that Meredith, in the spirit of being a good girlfriend, reminded him that her classes didn't start until noon on Tuesdays, so they could do something in the morning. This led to Meredith shuffling around her dorm trying to get ready in the dark without waking Cristina, who would be seriously pissed off if she was woken up this early.

Meredith left her building, surprised at how much quieter it was this early in the morning. Granted, New York is the city that never sleeps, so there were people on the sidewalk and cars driving by, but it was less crowded and less busy. She decided to take a cab to Derek's so she could get their faster, and arrived at his door at six thirty.

When the door swung open, she was met by a dozen red roses being shoved into her hands. She blinked, still half asleep, trying to figure out what was happening, when Derek's head popped out from behind the flowers, a huge smile on his face.

Meredith didn't smile; she just made a face at him. "Derek, what are these?"

Derek looked confused. "They're roses Mer. You know, red flowers, usually given on Valentine's Day. Usually a symbol of love…"

"I know what they are Derek," Meredith snapped. "I want to know why they're being shoved in my face this early in the morning."

"Because it's Valentine's Day Meredith, and we're celebrating it together. And that means you get roses." He leaned around the flowers, handing them to her as he kissed her deeply. "I love you."

She smiled at him as he led her inside. Her smile soon disappeared when she saw a huge white bear sitting at the kitchen table. This bear was freaking huge, it sat on a chair on its own.

"Seriously?" Meredith whipped around to face Derek. "Seriously? You got me a bear? And not just any bear, but the biggest bear you could possibly find. I told you I don't do Valentine's Day, so if you have any more crazy stuff like that, tell me now so I can go back to my room and get some sleep."

Derek just kept smiling as he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "So, the singing telegram would be too much?" He laughed as she hit his chest. "I'm just kidding, I only got you one other present, but I think you might actually like this one."

She raises her eyebrows at him, "Oh will I? And what exactly did you get me."

"Later," he smirked at her. "But, first we should eat breakfast. And, I see you brought something for me, and since I already gave you flowers…" he reached for the bag, which she willingly gave him.

"Technically, it's for me too, at least part of it, but I think you'll enjoy it too" she trailed off as she opened he opened the bag, pulling out a very lacy piece of fabric.

"Lingerie? I'm glad you think it would look good on me, but it's really not my style. Or my size," he said, dodging her as she went to hit him.

"Shut up! I thought it would be something you would want me to wear, but if you don't like them, I could always return them," she reached for the bra and panties, but he pulled his hand away.

"Oh no," he said. "You will definitely use these; I will make sure of it."

"Good," she smiled at him. "There's, uh, something else in there for you too. It's cheesy and romantic, like you. And Izzie thought it would be a good idea, so she helped me make it. Well, she basically did make it." She watched him reach for the bottom of the bag, suddenly feeling nervous.

She watched as he pulled out a small book, studying the cover before flipping it open, looking at every page. He looked up at her, and she gave him a tentative smile. "Do you like it?" Before she realized what was happening, Derek had pulled her off her chair and placed her on his lap, kissing her deeply.

"Mer," he breathed against her mouth. "I love it. I seriously love it. It's us."

"Really?" Meredith asked, slightly relieved. "Good. Though it's not really us, because we don't take a lot of pictures together, but Izzie and I thought it would be nice. So, we took a picture of the outside of the bar where we met, and then again at Washington Square Park, where you asked me out…" They continued to flip through the book together, through pictures of where they went on dates, to Meredith in his apartment.

"Now this is one I like," Derek said, pointing to a picture of an obviously drunk Meredith being supported by Derek. Derek had come to a college party, despite feeling too old for one, in order to "protect" her. Meredith was barely standing, but was staring at the camera and laughing, her eyes shining. Derek had his arms around her waist, but instead of looking at the camera, he was looking at Meredith. Meredith loved that picture because he was giving her their look; the look that made her feel like she was the most important thing in his life, despite how drunk and childish she could be.

"Me too," Meredith responded. "Though I do remember you made me walk all the way back to your place even though my room was so much closer."

"Yeah, but after I carried you inside, we had some pretty amazing sex that night, all night long. Don't tell me you regret that?" He smiled wickedly at her.

"Absolutely not," she said softly, kissing his cheek.

"You know," he said into her neck, his lips lightly brushing over her skin. "I did love that dress. It was short, and tight. And it looked fantastic on you."

"Hmm, good to know. Maybe I'll wear it again soon. With your other present on underneath."

"I would like that," he whispered.

They flipped through the last couple of pages, most of which were taken on Christmas Eve by Derek's mom. She thought they were adorable, and made them pose all over the house and with the entire family. Derek had insisted that they take one at Penn Station before her train arrived, so "he would have something to remind him of her." There was also a picture of the two of them on Christmas Day, marking the day that they said 'I love you.'

The last picture was from last weekend, on a Friday night. Derek had agreed to spend the night with Meredith, Cristina and Izzie, as well as some of Meredith's guy friends. They had gotten a little tipsy, and decided to go to Central Park at night. It was flurrying, the small snowflakes making the picture idyllic. Izzie had obviously taken this one; Cristina would have vomited if she had witnessed it. It was a candid; Derek was giving Meredith a piggy back ride along the path, turning to smile at Meredith over his shoulder while Meredith was pressing a kiss to his cheek, snow falling on their faces. Underneath the picture, in Meredith's writing, were three simple words: _I love you._

"Mer," Derek whispered, and she turned to look at him, cocking her head slightly. "I love you," he said, kissing her softly. "So much."

"Me too," she smiled against his lips. She leaned in to kiss him again, but her stomach growled. They both laughed, and Derek slid her off of his lap. "I'll get you food," he offered. "And then you'll get your other present."

"Okay," Meredith said as Derek placed pancakes and eggs in front of her. They ate in silence, with Meredith devouring all of her food while Derek looked on in amusement. As she finished up, Derek walked into his bedroom. He returned to the kitchen a minute later, grabbing both of their plates and putting them in the sink before returning to the table.

"Here you go Meredith," he placed a small wrapped box on the table, and Meredith opened it. _Oh my God, _she thought, freaking out in her head. _No he didn't, he wouldn't have; he's not that stupid. _What was sitting before her was a small jewelry box. One, in Meredith's experience at least, would hold an engagement ring. "Derek," she choked out, still in shock, "I-I-I ca-"

"Meredith, relax," she looked up with Derek, meeting his concerned expression. "It's not what you think it is. It's just that it was the only box it would fit in."

Meredith breathed, trying to relax as she picked up the box and popped it open. Sitting in it was a small silver key. While less terrifying than a ring, Meredith knew what this key was for, and it still scared her. She looked up at him, trying not to freak out. "You're keying me Derek?" she asked, trying to joke around, but failing miserably.

Derek took her hands in his, and looked her straight in the eye. "Yes, Meredith, I am keying you. But, it is just a key. I don't expect you to move in here, or be around all the time, but it is my way of showing you that I want you in my life. You can stop by any time, day or night, and I will be here. I will be here for you if and whenever you need me. I couldn't think of a better way to show or give you that, so I'm giving you this key as a symbol of the fact that I am her for you, and I will always be here for you, because I love you."

Meredith looked at him, a small smile crossing her face. "Nicely put Derek," she said as she stood up, moving over to straddle him. "Even if it was incredibly corny."

Derek laughed, "Says the girl that made a photo album of our relationship."

"Shut up," she giggled, kissing him. "Plus I already told you, Izzie basically made it." She deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

Derek groaned against her lips as he unbuttoned her jeans. "Shouldn't you go change into my Valentine's Day present?"

"Nope," she said as she ground against him, feeling his erection pressing against her. "I'll be wearing it when you least suspect it. Gotta make it a surprise."

"I see," Derek said as he stood up, and Meredith wrapped her legs around his waist. "I guess we'll have to make do without it for now." Meredith kissed him hard, burning with desire as he carried them to his room, hoping to enjoy whatever time they had left before work and classes in bed.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Meredith felt Derek shift beneath her, tightening his grip on her shoulders, and she knew he was awake. Lifting her head off his chest, she tried to speak. "Derek?" she asked softly.

"Mhmm?" was Derek's response, his eyes still closed.

Meredith leaned back down, kissing his bare chest. "I want sex."

"Too tired," Derek mumbled, but the corners of his mouth turned upwards slightly. She knew he couldn't say know for that much longer.

Meredith moved to sit on top of him, straddling his hips and kissing his lips lightly. "But it's my birthday, and I want birthday sex."

Derek's small smile turned into a full fledge grin, but he still didn't open his eyes. "We had sex last night, and we can have sex tonight, after your party. We have stuff to do today."

Meredith stared down at him in disbelief. _Is he seriously denying me sex? _She thought, contemplating what to do next. Smirking, she ground against him, knowing it would arouse him soon. "It's my birthday," she repeated firmly, leaning down to trail kisses across his chest and up his neck. "I believe you said yesterday that you were going to spoil me today."

Derek finally opened his eyes, smiling at her as he thread his fingers through her hair, pulling Meredith's face close to his. "Well, since I did say that I would spoil you," Derek kissed her deeply. "Happy birthday Meredith," he said against her lips, sliding his hands down her sides.

Meredith gasped at his touch, and Derek deepened the kiss. Meredith rolled against him reflexively, and heard Derek groan. He broke their kiss, moving his mouth to her breasts, sucking and nipping at them as he slid a hand between them, stroking her. Meredith gasped in pleasure, continuing to roll her hips against him as he pleasured her.

"Derek," she moaned. "Please," she begged, reaching for a condom on the nightstand. "I need you now."

"Mhmm," Derek groaned in agreement as Meredith slid the condom over him, and sank slowly onto him. She rocked over him slowly, her hands on his shoulders to support her. Derek raised his hips in time with Meredith's rocking, pushing himself even deeper into her. Meredith felt the pressure building, catching his mouth in a hot, passionate kiss as she began to tremble.

"Yes Derek," she panted, her words turning into a whimper as her orgasm shook through her, burying her head against his neck as she felt herself tighten around Derek. She heard him grunt, and he thrust into her once more before his body relaxed, groaning as he came.

After what seemed like an hour, Meredith's breathing had finally returned to normal. Lifting her head from Derek's neck, she kissed him softly on the lips. "Thank you," she whispered.

"My pleasure," Derek murmured, kissing her again. "Come on, we have to get up." He shifted her off of him to move off the bed.

"Why?" Meredith whined, her arms around him too tightly so he wouldn't let go.

"Because," he laughed, holding onto her tightly as he lifted them both off the bed and standing so that he was holding her in his arms. "I have plans for us today. Plans which involve food and presents. And then we have to go back to your room."

She wrinkled her nose at him, feigning seriousness. "Well, since there are presents involved," she smirked, wiggling out of his arms so she was standing close to him. "Then I suppose we can go."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "So you're using me for free food and presents. And here I thought you actually liked me."

"And sex," Meredith shot back. "I like the sex too." She knotted her fingers through his hair and stood up on her tiptoes so that they were almost eye level. "And I don't like you. I love you," she kissed him slowly, before stepping back and giggling. "Wow that was cheesy. I think you're rubbing off on me."

Derek smiled putting his hands on her hips. "I'm glad I'm rubbing off on you," he kissed her again. "But I have a pretty great day planned, and that can't happen until we get dressed and actually leave the apartment.

"Fine," Meredith sighed, stepping away from him. She moved to get dressed, unaware that Derek was staring at her, a huge grin on his face when thinking about their plans later.

XXXXXX

"You know, even though it's freezing and a really corny idea, this has been kind of nice," Meredith teased, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. Derek had made a picnic lunch and, despite the cool March weather, they had eaten in the park close to her campus.

"You know, for someone who mocks my corny plans as often as you do, you seem to love all of them," he shot back, smiling at her.

"Well, how else am I supposed to get free food and great sex?" she retorted, but shifted closer to him on the blanket, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Speaking of free stuff," Derek began, pulling out two wrapped gifts from the picnic basket. "These are for you. Open this one first; it's from my mom and my sisters."

Meredith looked at the present and up at Derek with surprise. "Th-they they got me something? Why? I mean, it's really nice, and I'm really grateful, but they really didn't have to. Because I haven't gotten any of them things for their birthdays, I don't even know when their birthdays are, an-" Meredith felt Derek's lips press against hers, effectively silencing her.

"Mer," he said as they pulled apart, running his fingers through her hair. "Just open it." He offered her a reassuring smile and nodded.

With slightly shaky hands, Meredith unwrapped the present. It was a picture frame, the photo inside of her and Derek's sisters. Derek had dragged Meredith to his house in the beginning of February for his mother's birthday. Meredith had really become comfortable with Derek's family, and had found herself getting along well with his sisters, even Amelia, who had been in a good mood. Meredith was in the center of the picture; Nancy and Kathleen on one side, and Liz and Amelia on the other. They had their arms wrapped around each other, and Meredith smiled at the memory. She was the only blonde surrounded by four brunettes, but she felt like she belonged.

"Oh," Meredith finally whispered, trying to blink back the tears in her eyes. "I love it! I can put in on my desk."

Derek smiled at her. "I had to practically force you to put up a picture of me, but them you can't wait to display!"

"Shut up!" Meredith slapped his arm, trying to pull away from him. "This is different! They're my friends, and, with the exception of Cristina, they're the closest thing I've had to sisters, so of course I love the picture. I see you all the time; I don't need a reminder that I have you."

"Wow, you know how to make a guy feel special," Derek pouted.

Meredith smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean," Derek whispered before handing her the second box, this one smaller. Meredith pulled the bow off and opened it. In the box was a small silver necklace, with a small aquamarine stone attached. Meredith normally didn't wear jewelry, but she liked this necklace. Derek had known exactly what she liked, and knew not to go too overboard.

"It's okay, right?" Meredith looked up at Derek's question, and didn't miss the hint of nervousness in his eyes. She tiled her head up and kissed him.

"I love it," Meredith said sincerely. "It's beautiful. It's exactly what I would want. I'll wear it tonight."

"Good," Derek smiled confidently. He stood up, pulling her up with him. "Come on; let's go get ready for your party. I heard it's going to be the party of the year."

Meredith smiled, pulling him in the direction of campus. "Oh, it will be."


	19. Chapter 19

**_A/N: Please don't be mad at me when you get to the end of this chapter!_**

Chapter 19

"I still don't understand why we couldn't have the party at my place," Derek said as he sat on Meredith's bed, watching as Meredith brushed her hair.

"Because," Meredith said, turning to face. "I like big parties, with lots of people. If we went to your place, then I would only be able to invite the people that I know, and it wouldn't be as fun. And Alex knows a ton of people. Plus, we wouldn't be able to sneak out to have sex if we were at the apartment; we would have to wait until everyone goes home."

"Well, now that you put it that way," Derek said, taking Meredith in. She was wearing the necklace he bought her, along with a light blue dress. The dress had spaghetti straps, and was tight, accentuating all of her curves before stopping midway down her thigh. The dress normally would have been a little short for Derek's liking, but because he was going to be with Meredith tonight, he chose not to say anything about her attire.

"Hmm, like what you see," Meredith said, walking towards him, straddling his lap.

"Yes," Derek said before assaulting Meredith's neck with his mouth.

"Derek, we have to go," Meredith half groaned, lifting herself off of Derek's lap.

"Fine," Derek said, standing up beside her. "Please tell me Alex lives close by."

Meredith nodded. "Actually, his apartment is very close to yours. Very convenient," she said as she pressed herself against Derek.

"I would say so," Derek bent down to kiss Meredith. "Happy Birthday Mer. I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled, grabbing his hand and leading him out of her room.

XXXXXX

Two hours later, Derek was standing in the corner of the room by Izzie and Mark, who Meredith had insisted on inviting. He was staring amusingly at Meredith, who was dancing on a table with Cristina, tequila in hand. About an hour ago, Meredith had given up on just doing shots and went for the entire bottle.

"Wow, I didn't know Grey could drink that much," Mark noted as the three watched Meredith take another large gulp from the bottle.

"Yeah it's kind of scary actually," Izzie replied. "The first time I saw her drinking at a party, I was convinced I was going to have to call an ambulance or something. I don't know where she puts it all."

"Hell if I know," Derek responded with a smile on his face. "There are times that I think she can drink more than me." It was at that moment that Meredith locked eyes with Derek. Smiling, she jumped off the table, working her way through the crowd towards him. When she finally reached him, she practically fell into his arms, obviously an effect of the tequila. She grabbed his face, pulling it down to hers, kissing him deeply, much more than she normally would in public.

"Having fun?" Derek asked breathlessly when they pulled apart, his hands on Meredith's waist to steady her. Meredith's face was flushed from the alcohol and the amount of people in the room. Her eyes were sparkling, and a crooked smile graced her mouth. She nodded, moving her hands from his face to his neck.

"Dance with me," she demanded, her speech slightly slurred.

"Meredith, you know I don't dance," he tried to reason with her, but he knew it was no good; he would have to give in eventually.

"Please," she pleaded, her eyes sparkling a little less than they had moments ago.

Derek shook his head. "Mer, I hate dancing."

"Please," she begged, pulling him towards the middle of the room, which had become a makeshift dance floor. "You promised to do what I wanted on my birthday. We had sex this morning because I wanted it, and now I want to dance, so you have to dance." Though her reasoning was slightly childish, Derek couldn't help but smile.

"I don't want to deny you anything that you want," he laughed as he let Meredith lead him to the middle of the room, trying to ignore Mark mocking him. Derek's hands moved to Meredith's hips. She turned, her back to him, and pressed herself against him. She moved her hips to the beat of the music, grinding her ass against his crotch. One of her hands rested on top of Derek's while the other snaked its way into Derek's hair. She rolled against him, and Derek tried to follow her movements. He was sure he looked ridiculous, but he was certainly enjoying the feel of Meredith against him. As the song changed, Meredith spun around to face him, straddling one of his legs as she continued to grind into him. Derek was turned on; he could feel himself growing harder the more pressure she put against his crotch.

"Derek," Meredith said into his ear. He looked down at her, hoping for something that would distract him from the increasing tightness of his pants.

"Yeah," he choked out as Meredith continued to dance against him.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered, letting her hand trail down his chest and brush over him.

"Oh thank God!" Derek said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Wait, let me say goodbye to Alex and Cristina and everybody!" Meredith pulled away from him.

"Fine," Derek half growled, suddenly desperate to have her. "Make it quick."

Meredith stumbled through the crowd, still clearly intoxicated. She returned to Derek a couple minutes later, and he all but dragged her outside, where he kissed her hard. They walked quickly to his apartment, not wasting any time as they entered to rip each other's clothes off. Derek grabbed Meredith by the waist and carried her into his room, depositing her on the bed. Taking off his pants, Derek said roughly, "I want you," as his lips crashed against Meredith's.

"Me too," Meredith moaned against his mouth as Derek unzipped her dress, and taking it off of her. Once they were completely naked, Derek moved on top of her, thrusting into her suddenly and roughly. He heard Meredith gasp at the roughness, and for a moment he worried that he had hurt her. But she wrapped her legs around him and lifted her hips, begging him to continue. He thrust into her hard, and caught her lips in a bruising kiss before making his way to her neck. Meredith's moans of pleasure made his thrusting become frantic, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Meredith began to quiver beneath him, and he felt her contracting around him as she let out a loud moan. That was all Derek needed before he shoved deeply in her a few more times before releasing, succumbing to the intense pleasure.

Derek wrapped Meredith in his arms, and she rolled over, her head resting on his chest. She trailed her arm up and down his chest, sighing contently. At one point, she dipped lower, and Derek thought there was going to be a round two until he felt her tense next to her. Suddenly she sat up, moving off of the bed.

"Meredith, what's wrong?" Derek asked as she watched her stumble around the room, afraid that she was going to be sick; after all, she did drink a lot. It wasn't until he saw Meredith pull on her dress did he become more confused than worried.

"You. You are what's wrong. I have to go." She snapped at him, trying to walk in a straight line.

"What? What's going on?" he thought he heard her mumble something along the lines of 'not happening again' and 'no condom'. He stood up, reaching to grab her shoulders, "you can't go home like this, or at least let me walk you?"

She jumped out of his grasp. "Leave me alone," she hissed. "I'll call a cab, I'll be fine."

"Meredith," Derek pleaded. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"I just- I can't do this again. It already happened once, and now I've put myself in it again because I'm drunk and you're brainless, so I need to get myself out of it." She rambled, more to herself than Derek, as she left the room. Derek through on a pair of gym shorts as he ran after her, following her down the stairs.

"What already happened once?" he was on the sidewalk, watching her try and hail a cab. She was wobbling, and he knew she was too drunk for her to go anywhere.

"I don't want to talk about it," Meredith snapped at him again as a cab pulled up.

"You have to talk about it! You're scaring me!"

"No I don't!" Meredith argued as she opened the door. "Just leave me alone right now Derek, I'm going home." He watched as she gave the cabbie her address and stepped in the car.

"I'll call you tomorrow. I love you Mer," Derek said firmly, but Meredith ignored him, closing the door and he watched as the cab drove away. He didn't understand how they got to that point; only an hour ago, they were celebrating her birthday, and now, he didn't even know what was going on.

**_A/N: I promise you they didn't just break up, and they are not going to. And I will definitely post again tomorrow so you have a better idea of what's going on/you won't hate me for ruining Meredith and Derek. On a slightly happier note, I have finished writing the entire story, so expect more frequent updates. As always, please read, review, and enjoy _**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"So you just left McDreamy like that?" Cristina asked as Meredith paced their room a couple days after Meredith's birthday. Meredith had refused to speak to Cristina the day after her party, and Cristina had to basically force Meredith to speak. And since she was Meredith's person, Meredith knew she couldn't keep anything from her.

"Yes," Meredith snapped. "And now I don't know what to do. How can this happen twice in one year?"

"Okay Mer," Cristina began. "First of all, you don't know that it happened again."

"I didn't think it would happen when it did last time, and knowing my luck, it probably did, but it's too early to tell. Okay, I'm rambling."

"Have you ever thought about going on the pill? Or, we could go get the morning after pill?"

"Right," Meredith scoffed. "My mother thinks the pill is only for girls who are too lazy and too slutty to try and prevent pregnancy. And my mother already thinks I'm a screw-up, I don't want her to think of me as a whore too. And it's too late for Plan B, it's only good for a certain amount of time after sex."

"And why didn't you think of this like, I don't know, yesterday?" Cristina asked, trying to understand her friend.

"I don't know," Meredith groaned. "I was just in shock. And like you said, we don't even know if I'm pregnant."

"And that's what you said last time. Seriously Meredith, why weren't you more careful?"

Meredith stopped pacing and whipped around to face Cristina. "Are you freaking kidding me?" Meredith shouted. "Seriously? I've made sure we were careful every time. And I wouldn't even be all that worried if I hadn't figured out dates and stuff and realized that right about now would be prime opportunity for me to get pregnant."

"I'm sorry," Cristina said softly, knowing that this wasn't what Meredith needed. "What are you going to tell Derek? I mean, you left him pretty suddenly."

"I don't know," Meredith said exasperatedly. "What should I tell him? I mean right now, I have nothing to tell him."

"You could explain why you ran out on him."

Meredith shook her head vigorously. "No I can't. He'll think I'm some kind of whore, and then he'll realize I'm dark and twisty and won't want me anymore."

Cristina rolled her eyes at Meredith. "Mer, the guy clearly loves you, everyone knows that. He wouldn't just leave you because you're all dark and twisty inside. So, are you just not going to talk to him for the next two weeks or so until you find out if you're pregnant?"

The thought of not seeing Derek for that long made her stomach clench. She hated how much she relied on him and needed him, she felt as though it made her weak. "No," Meredith finally said. "I can't do that. I'll just tell him I wasn't feeling well or something."

"So you're just going to avoid the situation entirely?" Cristina asked incredulously.

"I live my life under a banner of avoidance. I avoid, I'm an avoider," Meredith shrugged.

"Okay, well I guess that situation would work if you aren't pregnant. But what are you going to do if you are?"

"Umm," Meredith hadn't really thought that one through. In fact, she had avoided thinking about it, not wanting to admit that it might happen. "I don't know. I mean, do I really have to tell him? Of course I do, what am I thinking? This isn't some random guy; this is Derek. But what if I tell him and he hates me? Or if he leaves me? I mean I could just get rid of it and not tell him, but he would want to know. He might want me to keep it. Derek wants babies, he's always wanted babies, and he's twenty-six, which is when people start having kids, but I don't want kids, at least not now anyways. So I would have to get rid of it. Except it would be part of me and part of Derek, and I just don't know if I could-"

"Meredith!" Cristina practically screamed. Meredith looked up, shocked. "You have officially out rambled yourself. Why don't you take it one day at a time? You keep jumping to all these conclusions, so maybe you should slow down. How many times has he called you the past two days?"

"Uh," Meredith paused, looking down at her phone. "Twenty nine. Wow. But he hasn't called in about an hour and a half, so I can expect another one soon."

"Alright, so the fact that you've ignored his many, many attempts at contacting you is probably freaking him out; he's probably going to start standing outside again soon. So, I recommend that you answer the next time he calls and explain everything."

"But I can't!" Meredith retorted. "Because then he'll know that I might be pregnant, and I can't deal with that if I don't even know if I am yet."

"Fine," Cristina said, throwing her hands in the air. "I give up! Tell him whatever you want." With that, Meredith's phone rang, and she saw Derek's name on the display.

"Perfect," she muttered.

"You need to work this out," Cristina said, grabbing her wallet. "I'll be upstairs in Izzie's room when you're done talking to him. And please, for all of our sakes, talk to him Mer." And with that, she walked out of the room.

Meredith stared down at her phone. It rang once more before Meredith took a deep breath and flipped it open. "Hey Der," she said softly, calling him by the nickname she barely used, hoping he wouldn't be too angry with her.

"Meredith," he breathed, sounding relieved. "Where are you? Are you okay? I've been calling for days!" His voice shifted to concern, and Meredith felt a little guilty for making him worry.

"I'm okay," Meredith lied, trying to sound confident. "I'm in my room. I'm sorry I didn't call, I've been, uh, busy."

"Are you sure? Because you ran out pretty fast on Friday, and you didn't even tell me why."

"I'm sorry," she said, holding back tears. "I was really drunk, and I don't know what I was thinking. I should have called you yesterday."

"You should have," Derek responded. "But you had a lot to drink on your birthday, and you probably weren't feeling too great. I understand."

"I'm sorry," Meredith said again, it was the only thing she could think to say. She felt like a terrible girlfriend; she had run out on him, and now she was keeping things from him.

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright. I missed you."

"I miss you too," Meredith admitted. She couldn't tell him why she left, or why she was upset. Not yet, not until she knew for sure. And even then, she wasn't sure what she would do.

"I want to see you. Do you want to come over? Or I can come to you?" Derek asked hopefully.

Meredith wanted to say yes, she really did, but she couldn't. She knew she was being selfish, and avoiding, and that Derek wasn't like the guy she last slept with, but she was still scared. "I don't think that would be a good idea," Meredith began, her voice shaking. "I have an exam on Tuesday, and I know you would help me study, but I think it would be best if I studied for this one on my own."

"Oh, okay," Derek said, disappointment evident in his voice. "Are we still on for lunch on Wednesday?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll meet you at the hospital if you want."

"One o'clock?"

"I'll be there," Meredith said, trying to make her voice light.

"I'll call you later then," Derek said. "I love you Mer."

"I love you too," Meredith whispered so softly that she wasn't sure Derek had heard her. "Bye." She hung up, and sank on her bed, lost in thought.


	21. Chapter 21

**_A/N: Thank you to all of you who are sticking with the story, I really appreciate it. I hope you kind of enjoy this update; don't worry, MerDer will be fine_**

Chapter 21

Something was wrong with Meredith. Derek wasn't quite sure what it was, but he knew that something wasn't quite right. She kept assuring him that she was fine, but she had been keeping him at an arm's length over the past two weeks, and then suddenly on Saturday, all communication stopped. He wanted to know what was going on in her head, but he wasn't sure that she would tell him.

It had started right after her birthday, when they had lunch together that Wednesday. Derek had tried not to be clingy after they talked the Sunday after; trying to give her space so she could study for her exam. But she wasn't back to normal on Wednesday, despite how much he had hoped she would be.

_He had been waiting for about ten minutes in the hospital cafeteria before Meredith finally showed up. She was wearing jeans and her white pea coat, a burberry scarf around her neck, and Derek thought she looked like a model. A very frazzled model, he amended internally, but a model none the less. She watched her search for him, so he stood up, trying to catch her attention. When she caught his eye, her shoulders slumped slightly, and he could have sworn he saw her eyes widen, as if she wasn't really sure he would be there. _

_Derek smiled at her as she walked towards him, but was a little confused, because the closer she got to him, the more Derek examined her face, he saw that her eyes were filled with a strange mixture of fear and sadness. _

"_Hey Mer," he said as she finally stood before him, and Derek bowed his head to kiss her on the lips. At the last second, Meredith shifted so that Derek kissed her cheek, and then immediately sat down._

"_Hi," she said softly, barely making eye contact. "How are you?"_

"_Tired," Derek answered honestly, smiling at her. "How are you feeling? Do you think your test went well?"_

"_What?" Meredith had spaced out for a minute. "Oh yeah, I think I did fine."_

_Meredith was quieter than usual during the meal. The only time she spoke was to ask him questions about surgery and the hospital; she didn't give him a chance to ask her any personal questions. Though she did loosen up and smile a few times, she still seemed out of it, like she was holding something back. When they had finally finished eating, they both stood up, and Derek moved to stand next to Meredith as she put her coat on. He kissed her softly on the lips, but Meredith pulled away far too soon in Derek's opinion._

"_Meredith, are you okay? Because you seem not okay," Derek was very worried that there was something wrong with her, she looked so pale and tired; maybe she was coming down with something._

"_Yeah, I'm great," Meredith tried to assure him, but she didn't meet his gaze, so Derek was not very convinced. _

"_You can tell me if there's anything wrong Mer," he offered, but she remained silent. "Well, I have Saturday off this week, so I was wondering if you wanted to go out on Friday night and then sleep over. Or, I could stay with you, because you said Cristina was going home for the weekend."_

"_Listen Derek," Meredith said slowly, sending signals off in Derek's head. "I have midterms coming up, so I think it would be a good idea if we didn't have sleepovers and stuff until after they're done."_

_Derek just stared at her for a few moments. This was not his Meredith. The Meredith he knew usually begged for a distraction, and it was usually he who had to force her to study. Now he was almost one hundred percent certain that there was something going on that she wasn't telling him about. _

"_Is that really what you want Mer?" He wasn't sure what she wanted, whether she was serious about just wanting to do homework, or if they were taking a break, or if she was dumping him. He really hoped it wasn't the latter._

"_Yes Derek, I'm sure. I really need to study," Meredith snapped, but when she looked at him, he saw pain, and made a move to reach out to her._

_However, Meredith took a step back, and gave a very small smile. "I have to go," she started. "You can call me when your shift gets out. If you want to."_

"_Of course I want to," he said, giving her his best reassuring smile. Suddenly, his pager went off, and he realized he had to go. "I gotta go, but I'll call you soon. Love you Mer."_

"_Bye Derek," was all she said before quickly exiting the cafeteria, leaving Derek very confused. _

Derek had seen her once since then, and she had been just as quiet. Meredith had never been a big fan of PDA, but she had been willing to hold his hand in public and let him kiss her hello and goodbye. Now, she flinched whenever he touched her, if she didn't manage to step out of his grasp first. No sleepovers, no sex, and barely any conversation; Derek wasn't all that upset about the two week dry spell he was enduring, but he missed Meredith. He missed joking with her and hearing her laugh, because when they had spoken over the phone, her voice was hollow.

And now she wasn't speaking to him at all, and he was getting frustrated. This was the second time she had frozen him out in the six months they had been together, and this time he didn't know why. He understood after she met Addison, but this time there was no precedent, as far as Derek was concerned. It had been five days since she had bothered to answer the phone and talk to him, and he wasn't sure if he could do it much longer.

"Derek, you alright man?" Mark had come up behind him, sitting down across from him in the hospital cafeteria.

"It's Meredith."

"Is she still not talking to you? Damn, what did you do?"

"I don't know," Derek sighed. "She won't talk to me, and I don't know what to do. I love her, I really do, and I don't want to begin to imagine my life without her, but I just don't know…"

"Wait," Mark's head snapped up, and he dropped his fork. "You aren't thinking of breaking up with Grey are you?"

"I don't want to, but I don't think I can handle the cold shoulder. She keeps shutting me out, and doesn't tell me anything. How am I supposed to be in a long-term relationship with someone who decides that they aren't going to talk to me every other month?"

"Derek, you're being an ass," Mark began, and Derek was startled by how angry he was. "You have been head over heels in love with Meredith Grey from the moment you met her, and you would throw her away so easily? She loves you, but that doesn't mean that she's going to become the perfect girlfriend just because you're together. You said so yourself that her mother seems like a bitch and you think that some guy has messed her up in the past, so you don't think that maybe she's avoiding you because she doesn't know how to handle whatever is wrong? Do you want to be the guy that messes her up more? Because I don't think she'd come back from that."

"Mark, I wou-"

"She told me once that she was used to people leaving her and walking away, but that she has never cared about anyone as much as she loves you, and one of her greatest fears is losing you. She's never done the relationship thing before, so give her a break."

Derek sat there in shocked silence. He never thought he'd see the day that Mark would support a relationship of his. Mark was a huge proponent of casual relationships, and mocked Derek every time Derek dated a girl. But then again, looking back, Mark had never criticized his relationship with Meredith, he mocked their age difference and the amount of sex they have, but he never said one negative thing about her. Then again, Mark and Meredith were very similar with the bad parents and never being in a relationship, so that would explain why Mark was so supportive of them.

Derek hung his head. He was still frustrated, and he knew that he probably wouldn't have actually broken up with Meredith, but he felt like an absolute jerk for even considering it. He was supposed to be better than that; he wasn't supposed to threaten to run away when things got hard. But he didn't know if she needed help, and didn't even know how to help her if she did, and that really scared him.

"What do I do Mark?" Derek asked, looking up at his best friend.

"Don't give up," Mark stated. "Don't do that thing where you call her thirty times a day, because that's creepy and annoying, but call her once or twice. If she doesn't answer, then leave a short message. And I mean short; don't badger her, don't tell her to call you back, just tell her you miss her and you love her or something like that. Try to visit her, though that might be hard because her building is pretty secure, but you can give it a shot. Try not to worry about it too much; she loves you and really doesn't want to lose you, so just let her know that you're here for her without being too overbearing."

Derek nodded slowly. "I can do that," he resolved. "Should I call her when I get out of work, or should I wait until tomorrow?" Derek wasn't used to taking relationship advice from Mark, but he seemed to get Meredith, and he would do anything to figure her out.

As Mark opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a phone. Derek grabbed his phone off the table, and a picture of Meredith popped up, indicating that she was the one calling him. Getting up and moving away from Mark, Derek answered his phone quickly. "Hello," he said, trying to sound calm and casual.

"Derek?" the voice did not belong to Meredith, but to Cristina. Derek immediately began to worry. He didn't mean to, but he didn't like the idea of Cristina calling him, it made it seem like Meredith was not okay enough to call him.

"Cristina? Where's Meredith? Is she okay?"

Cristina ignored his questions. "Are you working today?"

"I'm at work right now. Where is Meredith?"

"What time are you off?" Cristina continued to ignore his questions.

"Eight o'clock. Why Cristina?"

"I think you should come over when you get out." Cristina said softly. She wasn't speaking in her usual brisk, confident voice. No, the tone was more compassionate, almost sympathetic.

"Why?" Derek asked, but Cristina didn't seem to hear him. He heard another voice in the background, which he recognized as Meredith's. She must have asked who Cristina was talking to, because she heard him say "Derek." Suddenly, he heard shuffling noises, and Derek prayed that Meredith hadn't grabbed the phone to hang up on him.

"Derek?" Meredith said softly, sniffling. _Oh God, _Derek thought. _She's been crying._

"Meredith, what's wrong?" But Meredith didn't answer; she just gasped and sniffled again, clearly trying to hold back a sob.

"Mer," he tried again. "Cristina told me that I should come over when I get out of work. Do you want me to come? I won't if you don't want."

"No," Meredith said softly, her voice shaking. "I think it would be good if you came over. I need you." She whispered the last sentence, and Derek wasn't entirely convinced that she said it.

"I'll be there," Derek said firmly as his pager went off. "Listen Mer, I have to go back to work, but I'll be there by eight-thirty okay?"

"Okay," Meredith responded, her voice still shaky.

"I love you Meredith," Derek said. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," Meredith said before hanging up, and Derek raced to the pit to help with an incoming trauma.

XXXXXX

Derek had practically run from the hospital to her building, and was currently cursing the elevator as it ascended to the eighth floor at a painstakingly slow pace. When the door finally slid open, he was face to face with Cristina.

"Where is she?" Derek barked, not meaning to sound angry, but he was so worried about Meredith.

"In the room," Cristina stated, ignoring Derek's tone. "She has a lot to tell you, so just let her talk."

"Fine," Derek said as he passed Cristina, walking as quickly as he could to Meredith's door. He knocked three times, and he heard movement on the other side. When the door opened, he saw a familiar sight, though one he had hoped to never see again. Just like a few months ago, Meredith's eyes were red rimmed and filled with tears, and she seemed terrified as she looked up at him.

Derek did the only thing he could think to do; he grabbed Meredith and pulled her into his arms. He rocked her back and forth as he held her tightly, and he felt her body shake occasionally as she gripped his shirt. He wasn't sure how long they stood like that in the hall, but eventually Derek walked them both into her room, and forced her to look up at him.

"Meredith," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Meredith inhaled deeply, and spoke in a voice that only vaguely sounded like her own. "Please don't leave if I tell you," she croaked.

"Mer, I won't leave you," he said firmly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"I-I, uh, I um, I m-might be pregnant."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Derek held Meredith, but looked down at her in disbelief. "What?"

Meredith looked down at his chest and began to speak. "Well, I'm not really sure if I am, but I need to find out like, today. And I was never really worried at all, because we always used a condom or whatever, but on my birthday you were drunk, and I was really drunk, so we didn't think of that I guess. And I freaked out because my first thought was that I was pregnant again, which is why I walked out on you, and I'm sorry. That was a stupid reason to cut you out, because I kind of jumped to conclusions, so I tried to be normal for you, but I was freaking out and I was scared. And I was supposed to get my period on Friday and I'm late, and I'm very rarely late. And I was going to take a test and not tell you, but I can't not tell you because you're you," she took a deep breath, looking up at him for a moment. "I'm so sorry Derek, please don't hate me."

Derek stared at her, trying to process everything she had just said. But, the more time he took to think, the more scared Meredith looked, obviously taking his silence as a negative. She began to squirm away from him, clearly hurt, so Derek pulled her against him again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head, trying to calm her down. He led her to her bed and sat her on his lap, rocking her gently once again. "Shh," he soothed as she cried, rubbing his hand up and down her back. But there was one word that Derek kept hearing Meredith say over and over again in his head, and he needed to ask her about it.

"Mer," he said into her hair when she finally stopped crying. She looked up at him, and he inhaled deeply. "You said that you might be pregnant. Again. You've been pregnant before?"

"I'm so sorry Derek," Meredith stuttered. "You're dating a slut, or a former whore, and I should have told you."

"Meredith, please don't talk about yourself like that," Derek murmured, squeezing her tightly. "What happened that last time Meredith," he prompted.

"Well, you know my mom wasn't around a lot when I was growing up, and when I got older, she was around even less because she thought I could handle being by myself. And, I don't think I told you, but I was very rebellious and kind of crazy in high school; I had the whole angry, pink hair thing going on, wouldn't been caught dead at a prom, that kind of girl. And when I was fifteen, I discovered tequila, which led to me discovering sex, which I liked, a lot. I never really thought of myself as a whore. I knew I was having a lot of sex, but there were a lot of people doing it too, I just did it with different guys. So, my senior year of high school, last year, I met this guy. And I liked him, I mean, more than I liked anyone else before, and he wanted to sleep with me, so we did. For a while, he was the only guy I slept with, so I thought that maybe I could be in a relationship or whatever, because he seemed pretty nice." She looked at him again, her eyes filling with tears.

Derek gave her a small reassuring smile, so she continued. "Wh-when we had sex, which I know is something you probably don't want to think about your girlfriend doing with anyone else, we weren't always careful, and my mom has this thing against going on the pill, and I found out I was pregnant last April. And I didn't know what to do. So I told the guy, and…an-and he told me it wasn't his. That I was a huge slut and a whore, and that I was sleeping with too many guys to know who the father was, and I was just trying to pin it on him." Meredith's whole body began to tremble as the memory caused her to let out a heart wrenching sob, and Derek once again rocked her slowly until she calmed down.

"H-he he said it in the hallway at school, loud enough for everyone around to hear. And, I never cared what people thought of me. But hearing him call me those things, with everyone around, it hurt. I hear all those things at home with my mom, when she bothered to be at the house, but this was different."

Derek's heart broke for her. "What happened to the baby Mer, did you get an abortion?"

Meredith just nodded. "I couldn't be pregnant, I was supposed to graduate in two months, and start college in five; I couldn't be a freshman with a baby. Plus the baby's father didn't even want it, and if I had it, he wouldn't want anything to do with it, so I would have been all alone. And I feel terrible about it, so I stopped partying and sleeping with boys un-until I met you."

Derek pressed the softest of kisses to her lips. "Meredith," he said, his lips still against hers. "I am not like the other guy; I love you, and I would never call you a whore. You are absolutely amazing, and I hate that anyone would make you feel otherwise. Whatever happens Mer, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. "

"Okay," Meredith nodded. "I'm sorry Derek."

"It's alright Meredith, you were scared," Derek assured her. "Have you…have you taken a test yet?"

Meredith shook her head. "No, I wanted to wait for you."

"Good, I'm glad you waited for me. Do you know what you want to do if you are?"

Meredith sighed. "I-I-I don't know. I don't think I can have a baby and still be in school, plus my mom would kill me. What do you want?"

"Meredith, this isn't about what I want. This is your body, and I'll support whatever you want."

"But you want a baby right? And I don't know if I could keep it, but I love you, and it would be a part of you and a part of me, and you would love the baby right?" Meredith ended her rambling, looking up at him expectantly.

"Of course I would Mer," Derek gave her a small smile. "And I do want a baby someday. But I don't want to freak you out. So why don't we see whether you are pregnant before we talk about it okay?"

Meredith nodded, slipping from his lap and grabbing a pregnancy test off of her desk, and headed towards the bathroom down the hall, Derek trailing behind her. He waited outside while Meredith was in the ladies room, and after a moment, Meredith emerged. Reaching for his hand, she led him back to her room.

"How long?" Derek asked as he sat on the bed.

"Three minutes," she whispered, gripping the test tightly. They sat there for what seemed like an eternity; Derek's arm around her shoulder while Meredith's head rested on his shoulder. Finally, the alarm on Meredith's phone went off, signaling that the test was ready. Lifting her head from Derek's shoulder, she unwrapped the test, showing both of them the result.

Derek breathed a sigh of relief as Meredith whispered, "its negative." She looked up at him, trying to smile, but tears welled in her eyes. Derek looked down at her, slightly afraid as Meredith began to cry. "I-I'm sorry," she gasped. "I don't know why I'm crying. It's not li-like I even wanted to be p-pre-pregnant."

Derek pulled her close again, rubbing soothing circles up her back. "It's okay," he murmured into her hair. "You've had a long week, and it's been really stressful." He held her for a few more minutes before speaking again. "I'm going to help you get ready for bed." Meredith simply nodded, too tired and emotionally drained to say anything. So, Derek moved to Meredith's closet, grabbing pajama shorts and a tank top, helping her change and easing her on to the bed, tucking her in.

He kissed the top of her head. "Try to get some sleep Meredith; I'll come back tomorrow morning. I love you." He kissed her again, and went to move away, but Meredith grabbed his hand.

"Please stay," she whimpered. "Please stay with me."

Derek looked down at her, not wanting to say no. "What about Cristina?" he asked.

"She won't mind. Please Der, I need you to stay," she pleaded with him. Derek smiled, leaning down to kiss her lips.

"Okay," he said, "let me go get changed." Derek unbuttoned his shirt, placing it on the end of Meredith's bed as he moved towards her closet, grabbing one of his tee shirts he had seen minutes before. Meredith must have stolen it from him; he hadn't seen it in months, and that thought made him smile. He pulled off his pants, hoping Cristina wouldn't get too offended if he only slept in his boxers, and slid into Meredith's bed. He pulled her close, and she rolled into him, her head resting on his chest and his tee shirt clenched in his fists, as if trying to prevent him from running away.

Derek held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "We'll be okay Meredith," he said into her hair. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said into his chest. Derek stroked her arm and back until he felt her slowly relax, and they both drifted off to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Happy Grey's Day**_

Chapter 23

Derek wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but it definitely had not been this. He knew Meredith had been stressed out for weeks because she was worried about being pregnant, but it had been over a week, and she was still a shell. She kept telling him that she was fine, but she so clearly wasn't.

The day after she took the pregnancy test, she wanted to stay in bed all day. Cristina was once again going home for the weekend, which meant Meredith would be left alone, which Derek couldn't allow; he was too afraid. So, he begged Mark to take his shift that Friday in exchange to work overnight on Sunday, and he called in sick on Saturday to take care of her. He took her to his apartment for the weekend, where all they did was watch movies or sleep. She didn't eat unless Derek forced her to, and she barely smiled. But, she was increasingly more dependent on him, which Derek couldn't help but like. She would immediately cuddle into him when he would sit next to her, and she would latch onto him tightly when she slept. But other than that, he got nothing out of her; just a forced smile and an "I'm fine."

He stopped by to see Meredith every day, either before or after his shift at the hospital. He also got in the habit of texting Cristina and Izzie several times a day, which annoyed Cristina to no end. Derek was still worried about her, and he just wanted to make sure she was alright; Izzie got that, Cristina, not so much.

Derek looked at his watch. In about four hours, Derek would leave work to go pick up Meredith, and she would once again spend the weekend with him. And Mark, because Derek couldn't take another day off, so Mark would be watching Meredith on Saturday. _Watching Meredith; _Derek hated even thinking that. It made her sound like a child, like a poor, defenseless animal, but it was the only way he could think to phrase it. Because if he was asked, Derek would say that he was worried what would happen to her if she was by herself.

Those four hours passed by incredibly slowly. He had to do post op notes and discharge papers, which took a lot longer than usual because he kept letting his mind wander to Meredith. He ended up getting out of work fifteen minutes late, meaning that he had to basically jog the way to Meredith's building in order to be there by seven thirty. The elevators moved at their usual slow pace, and Derek tried to remain patient. When Derek knocked on the door, he was surprised to find that Izzie, not Meredith or Cristina, had answered. And rather than open the door to let him in, Izzie shoved him outside, following him and closing the door so that it was only open a crack.

"She's taking a nap," Izzie explained. "And Cristina is showering. And I wanted to talk to you before she woke up."

Derek studied Izzie's face, unsure of what she was going to say. He'd never really gotten to know Izzie in the seven months he had known Meredith. Meredith had talked about her a lot, but he had only hung out with Meredith's friends a handful of times, and didn't spend a lot of time with her. Or at least not as much time as he did with Cristina, who was always around when they were in Meredith's room, or calling and texting Meredith when they were out. Cristina had even come over to Derek and Mark's apartment twice, as an effort for Derek to try to get in the good graces of Meredith's best friend. Izzie seemed to be the exact opposite of Cristina; she was friendly and happy most of the time, so he wasn't really sure what to expect with her.

"Look,"Izzie started as soon as the door clicked shut. "I don't know what's wrong with Meredith; she won't tell me."

"Izzie," Derek started, assuming he would have to convince her that he hadn't done anything wrong, that he was just as confused as she was. "I-"

"Derek, just let me talk," she interrupted him. "I'm not blaming you for whatever is going on in her head. I wish I understood, but I don't. Only you and Cristina seem to know what's going on." Derek heard the twinge of jealousy in her voice, and he pitied Izzie Stevens. She had been accepted by Meredith and Cristina, but they were best friends, so Izzy wasn't told what had happened to Meredith. She was forced to watch her friend become a ghost, and couldn't do anything to stop it.

"I don't know what to do to make it better," Izzie continued. "And Cristina doesn't either. No matter what she does, Meredith just stares; she doesn't laugh, or really smile, or anything. I think the only person who can fix her is you. I know you love her, and she loves you, and I really think she'll tell you what's wrong if you ask, or at least push her to talk. Then you can make it better, because I have a feeling that nothing we do will help her."

Derek nodded as Izzie stepped out of his way, smiling slightly as she headed down the hall towards her room. He pushed the door open, and found the room dark. He made his way towards Meredith's bed, easing himself on to the edge to look at her. Her hair was down, flowing around her face. She looked somewhat peaceful, but even in sleep her mouth was pulled down in a frown. She looked so helpless and fragile, and Derek hated that he would have to wake her, but he ran his fingers through her hair nonetheless.

"Mer," he whispered in her ear as she stirred. "It's time to get up. You're spending the weekend with me remember?" he kissed her cheek, and her eyes slowly fluttered open. She looked up at him, and as she became more and more awake, she offered him a small smile, which Derek could tell was forced.

Derek bent over her, brushing his lips against hers softly. "Hey," Meredith said softly as she sat up, climbing over Derek to get out of bed. She made a move towards her closet. "Are we going out anywhere this weekend?" she asked, and Derek could tell she was trying to keep her voice light. "Because I only packed sweatpants, plus I have a lot of homework, and I think you said you had to work, so maybe we shouldn't go anywhere this weekend. We can just stay at your place or whatever."

Derek smiled, loving the fact that she was rambling. "No Meredith, we don't have to go out."

"Good," she said, grabbing her duffle bag and swinging her backpack over her shoulder.

Derek took the duffle bag from her and reached for her hand, grasping her right hand when she didn't offer it. "Ready to go?"

Meredith simply nodded, and they headed towards the elevators. They stood in silence, and he watched as Meredith shifted uncomfortably every few seconds. Derek hailed a cab, not wanting to walk the blocks to his apartment in an awkward silence. He stared at her while they sat in the taxi; she looked scared, and every time they made eye contact, she would look away quickly, but not before he caught a glint of emotion in her eyes: distrust. She didn't trust him, and he didn't know why. But he had to find out.

When they walked through the door, Meredith dropped her stuff off on the floor and plopped herself on the couch, flipping on the TV. Derek went to the kitchen and made dinner, deciding to cook a pizza. After putting it in the oven, he set the timer for twenty minutes and went into the living room. He sat down next to her on the couch, a little hurt that she didn't move to cuddle with him like she normally would have; she didn't even acknowledge him. She was watching a television show with rapt attention, apparently very interested in this show about serial killers. When he heard the ding of the timer, he got up, returning a few minutes later with pizza. Putting a slice on a plate, he handed it to Meredith. "Thanks," she mumbled, taking two bites before placing it down, not touching it again. This had Derek worried; Meredith loved pizza, especially when he made it. He couldn't take it anymore; he quickly grabbed the remote control, turning off the TV. Meredith whipped around to look at him. "What the hell?" she asked, slightly annoyed. "I was watching that!"

"We need to talk," Derek said evenly, but he regretted his words as soon as he said them. She flinched at his words, annoyance fading away to worry and insecurity.

_Crap, _he thought. _She thinks I'm going to dump her. _He swallowed and began to speak. "I'm worried about you Meredith. I get that you were scared about being pregnant, which is why you freaked out for a couple of weeks, but I don't know what's wrong right now. And I need to know. I can't keep having you shut me out, because you're scaring me. I'm worried that something bad is going on, and you just won't tell me. I'm in love with you, Meredith. I love you so much, and I need to know what's going on in that head of yours."

Meredith just stared at him for a minute, tears filling her eyes as she looked at him in shock. Finally, she sighed. "I told you things," she admitted. "Really personal things, so now you know almost everything about me, even the dark and twisties. And I'm scared that you'll leave. I know you said that you wouldn't, and I want to believe you, but everyone always leaves me. My dad, the guy from home, even my mother basically has. And I'm scared you'll realize how dark and twisty I really am, and then you won't want me anymore. And me keeping things to myself is apparently something you really don't like, so now you have another reason to run, in case you didn't have enough already. And I just don't know what to do. I want to be happy with you; I am happy with you, but I'm really freaking scared as well, and part of me wants to run. The part of me that loves you is blissfully happy, but the part of me that is scared wants to end this. And usually, the part of me that is happy and loves you is stronger, but right now, I'm more scared." She was no longer looking at him in shock, but rather in fear, as if he was about to confirm what she was most afraid of.

"Meredith, I don't know what to tell you," Derek said, dumbfounded. "I know everyone in your life has disappointed you; I'm sure I have at least once. And I know a lot of people have left you, but I refuse to be one of them. I do not want to leave you; I don't want to walk away. I can't promise you forever, mainly because I think it would freak you out too much and you aren't ready, but I swear that I won't just walk away. I want you to be happy, so please, do whatever you need to be happy. Because seeing you so miserable breaks my heart, and I can't help you if you don't tell me what to do."

Meredith looked down at her hands. "I want to be happy, I really do. And you make me happy. But I'm still scared, just like I was scared six months ago when we talked after the Addison thing. I don't know how not to be. I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone, and I've let you get closer to me than anyone else, or at least as close as Cristina is to me, and that's pretty freaking close. And I thought I was pregnant, so I freaked out, and now I have to fix it. Because I want us to go back to normal, but I don't know how, because I don't do relationships, or I didn't before you, and now I'm screwing it up again."

"You clearly know what you're doing in a relationship, I'd say ours has been pretty good for almost seven months," Derek insisted. "The only advice I can give you is to stop worrying about us, even though it's hard. You make me happy; I'm unbelievably happy with you, so I'm good. But if you aren't happy with me, it's okay. I just want you to be happy, no matter what that means."

Meredith nodded, "Alright." After a minute of staring at each other, Meredith slowly inched towards him, and Derek couldn't help but smile a little. When she was pressed up against him, Derek wrapped her in his arms, breathing her in. Meredith let her head fall on his chest. "Right now, I'm happy," she whispered into his chest.

Derek squeezed her tightly in reassurance. "Then I'm happy too."


	24. Chapter 24

**_I have two chapters left after this one, and then an epilogue. I was thinking about doing a sequel, and I was hoping you guys could give me feedback as to whether or not you want one. Granted, you probably can't do that until after you've finished the story, but I'm just throwing it out there. Anyway, please read, review, and enjoy. _**

Chapter 24

Meredith walked through the door of NYU Medical Center, two coffees in hand. She wandered around the halls for a few moments before finally spotting him. Derek was leaning against the nurses' station, chart in hand. Meredith felt a shiver go down her spine. _Damn he looks good, _she though as she took a deep breath, heading towards him.

He didn't notice her at all, even when she was standing right in front of him. He just kept making notes in his chart, apparently completely oblivious to his girlfriend as she walked behind him, deciding that surprising him from behind would be more fun. "So," Meredith whispered into his ear. "Is this a good place to hang out?"

Derek turned around abruptly, smiling at her. "I believe that's my line," he said as he leaned in to kiss her. "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you were on call last night, so I thought you might want caffeine at some point today. Plus, my class was cancelled, so I was kind of hoping you'd want to have lunch with me?" She smiled what she hoped was sweetly at him. She'd been feeling better the last couple of days, and she wanted to be better for Derek, so she was trying to be all bright and shiny. "I mean, this is what good girlfriends do right? Bring their boyfriends coffee?" She continued, a little unsure.

"I guess, but I wouldn't call you a good girlfriend," he said, kissing her again. "I'd call you excellent."

"So, lunch?" Meredith repeated.

"Yeah, I have a few minutes," Derek replied, leading her down the hall towards the cafeteria. Derek insisted on paying for her lunch since she bought him coffee, and they sat at a small table in the corner with their salads.

"So, what time do you get off today?" Meredith asked.

"Umm, I'm not sure actually. I'm scheduled to leave at five, but since I was on call last night, my resident said I could leave as soon as the bowel resection is finished."

"Oh, when is it? Do you just have to watch it, or are you going to be in the OR?"

"It's in at one, so I have to go prep the patient in half an hour. I actually get to assist," Derek smiled, looking excited. "I mean, it's not a craniotomy or anything, but I still get to help, and hold the retractor or suction or something, so it should be great."

"Congrats Derek, that's fantastic!" Meredith said excitedly. "You must be really impressing your resident."

"Well, no one can resist me," Derek joked, grinning at her.

"So cocky," Meredith muttered as she threw a sliced cucumber at him, sticking her tongue out.

"Hey!" Derek said, swatting at the flying vegetable. Suddenly Meredith thought of something, and her expression turned thoughtful. "What is it Mer?" Derek asked cautiously, unsure as to what she was thinking.

"Do you think I'd be able to watch?" Meredith said hopefully. She would love to see Derek work. She was sure he was a good surgeon, and he was always helping her study and such, so now she wanted to watch him succeed at something he loved.

"You want to watch?" She could tell Derek was surprised, but she also didn't miss the glimmer of happiness that flickered through his eyes. "Will you be able to handle it?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Derek, I grew up in a hospital, I watched my mother in surgery all the time. Trust me; I've seen way grosser surgeries than a bowel resection." Then Meredith's eyes shined mischievously as she leaned into him. "Plus, I want to see my hot, talented boyfriend rock a surgery," she whispered into his ear.

She heard Derek gulp, and watched him reach for his water, taking a long sip. When he put the cup down, he was grinning. "Alright, I'll talk to my resident and the Chief to see if I can get it cleared. Though, it shouldn't be too hard once I mention that you're Ellis Grey's daughter."

"The last name does help sometimes," Meredith agreed as they got up. "Hey, who's the attending general surgeon? I can tell my mom about it, and it'll at least give us something to talk about for five minutes."

Derek gave a small chuckle, but she saw the pity he had for her in his eyes. "There isn't an attending; I'm assisting a resident on their first solo surgery."

"Even more impressive that they picked you," Meredith said, hip checking him lightly.

"I know," Derek agreed, leaning down to kiss her. "Wait here for like five minutes; I'll go see if I can get you into the gallery."

"Okay," Meredith smiled, watching Derek walked away from her.

XXXXXX

An hour later, Meredith was seated in the back right hand corner of the gallery, watching Derek hard at work. The Chief of Surgery had been more than willing to let her sit in on a surgery, especially one in her mother's specialty. She had watched as Derek entered the OR, searching the gallery until he found her. She had been able to tell he was smiling by the way the corners of his shining blue eyes crinkled when he caught sight of her, and Meredith waved back in acknowledgment. The gallery wasn't too full, but the ten people in there had turned to study her when he looked up. Some of the girls had given her what appeared to be jealous looks, while the guys checked her out. She tried to ignore all of them, focusing solely on Derek and what he was doing, smiling every once in a while when his resident praised him.

Meredith heard the gallery door open on the opposite side of the wall, and she glanced up. An African American man walked in, his lab coat and dark blue scrubs told Meredith that he was an attending surgeon. His hair was cut short, but she could see it beginning to gray; Meredith guessed he was probably in his early to mid-forties, about the same age as her mother. The man looked around the room, as if seeking someone out. Finally, he made eye contact with Meredith, who dropped his gaze immediately, turning to look back down at Derek.

She saw someone sit down next to her out of her peripheral vision, turning to face the man who just entered the gallery as he cleared his throat. Meredith smiled politely, about to look away when the man spoke.

"So you're Shepherd's girlfriend?"

Meredith turned, really looking at the man. He looked slightly familiar, but she couldn't quite place him. So she simply smiled and nodded. "Yup, that's me."

"He goes on and on about you. He really loves you." The man said, still looking at Meredith. She wasn't sure what to say to that, and the doctor was still looking at her funny.

"Well, that's Derek for you and he's pretty great too," Meredith finally settled on, hoping that was appropriate. "He's doing great down there. Do you know him well?"

"Shep, of course!" the man smiled down at the OR. "He's one of the best interns I've seen in years. I request him whenever I can. He'll be a great surgeon one day."

"I don't doubt that. He's lucky to have you as a mentor Dr…" Meredith trailed off, the doctor's name still unknown.

"Webber," the man finished. "Richard Webber." He stuck out his hand, and Meredith shook it for a moment. "However, I won't be around that much longer, was just offered the Chief of Surgery position at Seattle Grace Hospital. I'll be leaving at the end of Derek's intern year."

"Well, that's a great opportunity sir, Seattle Grace is one of the best teaching hospitals in the country," Meredith replied, immediately wishing she hadn't said it as the chief stared at her in shock. Suddenly, a look of realization crossed his face.

"I overheard a nurse say that Ellis Grey's daughter wanted to observe a surgery, but I thought it was just talk. Plus, Ellis' daughter is so young. But you're Meredith, aren't you?"

"Um, yeah," Meredith stated slowly, not liking the turn the conversation had taken.

"You look just like her," Richard noted, looking at her almost in awe. "You've grown into a fine young woman."

"Thank you?" Meredith said, though it sounded more like a question.

"You must be only eighteen Meredith, aren't you a little young for him? What would your mother say?" Webber's voice was really critical, and a little protective.

"Actually sir, I'm nineteen, and my mother has met Derek. She likes him well enough; she may even like him more than me. I don't mean to be rude, but do you know my mother well?"

"Oh yes," Richard said, smiling at some what appear to be fond memories. "We did our residencies together at Seattle Grace. I knew you too. I used to change your diapers on occasion when your mom got called into an emergency surgery. You were smart too, always carrying that doll around, trying to figure out all the organs."

"Anatomy Jane," Meredith recalled. It was one of the few real presents she remembered getting as a child, and even then, the Anatomy Jane doll had been educational, but it had been the only doll she owned. Glancing down at the OR, she saw the resident closing up. Derek looked up at Meredith, and she flashed him a thumbs up, standing at the same time.

"Well, it was nice talking to you Dr. Webber," Meredith turned to say goodbye. "Good luck with being Chief of Surgery; I'll let my mother know I saw you."

"Bye Meredith, give your mother my best." Meredith nodded, heading down to the scrub room. She waited outside until Derek was done scrubbing out. When he caught sight of her, he grinned, and before she could say anything, took her hand and dragged her into an empty room. She looked around really quickly, noting the beds, and figured it was an on-call room. Then he was kissing her. She could feel him smiling against her lips, and she ran her hands up her arms as she leaned up on her tip toes to keep her lips pressed against his.

Breaking the kiss, Meredith dropped down from her tiptoes, murmuring "you were amazing in there." Derek just smiled, bending down to kiss her again two more times. Pulling away again, he just looked at her, smiling suddenly.

"Let's have sex," Derek said, his hands moving to the top of his scrub shirt.

Meredith stepped back, confused. "What?" she asked.

"Come on," Derek said, pulling off his top. "Let's just do it, let's just pull the gauntlet; let's just do it right now." He pulled her towards her, Meredith smiling as he pressed his lips to hers. She tried to come up with a reason not to, but couldn't. Derek reached for her jeans, unbuttoning them and placing his hands low on her hips.

"Wait, Derek," Meredith said her voice nervous as she thought of two things.

"What," Derek said, instantly hesitant as he pulled away slightly. "What is it Mer?"

"Condom? Do you have a condom?" Meredith looked up at him.

"Yes, lab coat," Derek moved to the floor, grabbing one out of his pocket. "But we don't have to if you don't want to. Or if you aren't ready."

Meredith looked up at him, thinking for a minute. "Did you lock the door?" she asked, stepping closer to him and wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Yes," he whispered, his hands moving to her ass as she hooked a leg around his waist, and he lifted her up.

"Good," Meredith mumbled, kissing him deeply as Derek carried her to a bed.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

**_Thank you for all of the lovely reviews! I'll keep working on the sequel; I already have nine chapters written, so I'm glad you all want me to do one, because if not, it would have been a waste of hard work lol. So, here's the second to last chapter before the epilogue, and it's generally happy. As always, read review, and enjoy!_**

Chapter 25

"Come on Meredith," Derek said exasperatedly. He had been waiting for half an hour to leave, and now they were cutting it close. It was Saturday afternoon, and they were spending Easter with his family. Derek promised that he and Meredith would be there by four so they could be on time for dinner. They would be staying overnight, getting up early to do an Easter Egg hunt, go to church, and have another big family dinner before they head back to the city. Meredith had agreed to spend the weekend with his family without much difficulty, but now she was taking forever to get ready. He paced the living room, staring at his shut bedroom door, where Meredith was supposed to be changing. Her mother had a conference in Atlanta this week, and had apparently forgotten it was Easter, leaving Meredith with the choice of going home to an empty house or staying at school. Derek insisted that Meredith stay with him, since she had done it numerous times before, and Meredith had been very grateful. That is, until he told her that she would have to come home with him for Easter. Luckily for him, she looked nervous for about a minute before smiling and agreeing.

Which led him to the current situation. Meredith was changing for the tenth time today, while trying to figure out if what she packed for their stay at his mother's was acceptable. Despite the fact that Derek assured her that anything she wore was fine, Meredith apparently wasn't convinced.

"Mer, we're going to be late," Derek called to her as the door opened. Meredith was wearing a white tank top tucked into a blue floral skirt that stopped just above her knees, and was pulling on a sweater that was the same color of the skirt as she stared at him, clearly annoyed.

"I'm ready!" she sneered at him, before turning self-conscious. "This looks okay right?"

Derek smiled at her, dirty thoughts filling his mind. "Definitely. You look very hot." He stepped towards her, resting his hands on her hips as he pulled her close to him, kissing her deeply. She responded eagerly before stepping away, taking his hands off her hips.

"No, we aren't doing this." She said firmly, fixing her hair.

"Doing what?" Derek said, feigning confusion.

"Don't play dumb with me. I know exactly what you were thinking, and we can't, because as you pointed out two minutes ago, we're going to be late. And your mom doesn't need to see me with sex hair or anything like that," Meredith snapped, grabbing her overnight bag before heading to the door.

"Fine," Derek sighed, following after her. The drive didn't take all that long, which was surprising. It was mid-April, not too cool and not too warm, a perfect Easter weekend. This drive to his mother's house was far different from the first; Meredith was infinitely more relaxed, smiling and laughing with him, not appearing the least bit nervous.

"So," Meredith began. "What is Easter like again?"

"Well, nothing's really going on tonight, it'll just be you, me, mom, Liz and Amy. We'll probably just eat dinner and watch movies, get out the Easter Baskets and decorate a little before Mom makes us go to bed early. Then we'll get woken up at the crack of dawn to go to Church, and then Nancy and Kathleen will come over with the kids for breakfast. Everyone gets to look at their Easter Baskets, and then we have the Easter Egg Hunt around eleven."

"Easter Egg Hunt? For the kids?"

"No, not just for the kids," Derek scoffed. "Everyone plays, there are only three kids, so of course we play. You win prizes if you get the most eggs."

"Seriously Derek?" Meredith asked in disbelief. "You sound like you're seven."

"It gets very competitive," Derek laughed. "Besides, you haven't seen the prizes yet, once you see what Mom comes up with, you'll want to join in."

"How intense does this get?"

"When I was fifteen, Mark and I grabbed for the same egg. We got into a fight, and he broke my nose," Derek admitted sheepishly.

"Is that why your nose is crooked? Oh my God, I thought you got hit in the face with a ball or something; I didn't realize you were fighting over an egg!" Meredith snickered at this.

"There were only two left and Mark and I were tied! It was a very important egg," Derek insisted as they turned on to his street.

"Uh-huh, sure," Meredith rolled her eyes. "So, after the epic Easter Egg Hunt, what do you do?"

"Well, Mark and I, and now Andrew and James, just kind of hang around, swap candy or whatever, while the girls usually help Mom in the kitchen. But don't worry," Derek amended, noting Meredith's wide eyes, "I told my mother not to force you to help, that you don't really know how to cook. So, you'll probably just have to set the table and then spend time with me," he winked.

"I could try and help! I don't want her to think I'm being lazy!"

"All I told her was not to force you, if you want to help, I'm sure she'll let you," Derek said as they slowed down in front of his house. Carolyn was already outside waiting for them, walking towards the car as Meredith hopped out.

"Hi Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith said as she hugged the older woman.

"Meredith, for the hundredth time, please call me Carolyn," she said as she turned to greet her son.

"I'll work on it," Meredith giggled as the headed towards the door.

XXXXXX

Derek could watch Meredith all day. It didn't matter what she was doing; he always found her fascinating. But he had, very recently, decided that his favorite time to watch Meredith was with his family. He wasn't sure when, but at some point she had gotten over the nervousness and the ramblings about them hating her, and now spent her visits bonding with his sisters, especially Liz and Amelia. Despite their first encounter, Meredith and Amelia were now close friends, and he had seen an improvement in Amelia's behavior and actions since she got to know Meredith. It probably had something to do with their proximity in age, or maybe it was because they both lost their fathers at the same point in their childhood, Derek wasn't sure. All he knew was that Meredith had slipped into his family seamlessly, and he was beginning to picture her there in the future. And once that idea took hold of him, he couldn't undo it; all he knew was that he wanted Meredith with his family, and refused to believe that there might be a time when she wouldn't be there.

Though Derek had enjoyed watching Meredith joke and gossip with his sisters, he desperately wanted to spend some time alone with her. Mark and his other sisters would be coming in the morning, which meant that for the next twenty-four hours, they would be surrounded by his family at all times. She was watching a movie with his sisters, and he figured now would be as good a time as any to persuade her to go to bed.

Sneaking up behind where she was sitting on the couch, he began to massage her shoulders. Meredith sighed slightly and leaned into his touch, so Derek bent down and ran his lips down her neck.

"Can I steal you away for the night yet?" he whispered into her ear.

"Mhmm," Meredith sighed quietly, nodding her head. Standing up, she turned to Liz and Amelia. "I think I'm gonna head to bed guys, I'll see you tomorrow."

They both smirked at her. "Night," Liz said. Amelia, on the other hand, was more bold. "I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight, and try to keep it down."

Derek laughed as Meredith turned bright red, stumbling over her words. "What? No, we- we're not, no. sleep, we'll be sleeping. And, and nothing else. Because your mother is here. And you guys are here. So sex, no sex. Definitely no sex."

Derek chuckled again as he grabbed Meredith's hand, pulling her up the stairs towards his room before she could say anything else embarrassing. As soon as the door closed, he locked and pulled her into a searing kiss. Meredith responded eagerly at first, opening her mouth so his tongue could slide in, but after a minute, she pulled away from him suddenly.

"No," Meredith said, breathless. "We are not doing that here. This is your mother's house, and your sisters are already giving me weird looks!"

"Meredith," Derek said, smiling at her. "We aren't having sex. I just missed you, and I wanted some time alone with you. Plus, we have to be up at seven thirty to get to church at nine, so I figured you would want to go to bed early."

"Oh, okay then," Meredith said, eyeing him. "But still, no sex, just sleeping."

"Just sleeping," Derek agreed as he kissed her gently. They got ready for bed, and Derek groaned inwardly when he saw what Meredith was wearing. She was definitely making this no sex thing hard for him on purpose, deciding to only wear black panties and a white tank top to bed. That solidified Derek's decision just to wear his boxers, and he slid into bed next to her, pulling her close to him.

Meredith rolled over, leaning up to kiss him before settling her head on his chest. "Easter isn't so bad," she whispered into the dark.

"Yeah, for now. Wait until tomorrow," Derek teased.

"Yeah, we'll see," Meredith agreed. "Goodnight."

"Night Mer," Derek said, pressing his lips on the top of her head.

XXXXXX

"If I were an egg, where would I be?" Derek heard Meredith mumble to herself as she scoured the yard. They had been looking for an hour, and his mother had informed him that there were three eggs left. Despite Meredith's mocking, she was every bit as competitive as Derek and Mark, and the three of them all had practically the same number of eggs. This year's main prize was a one hundred dollar visa gift card, and they all wanted it badly.

Derek stopped searching for a minute, watching Meredith move through the bushes. She had been so excited when she got her Easter basket this morning, and was so grateful that his mom had made one. She was great with his nieces and nephew when they came over, letting them tell her about all the stuff in their baskets, even though she had the exact same things in her own. She fit in with them, in every single way.

"Nancy found an egg, and so did Mark. There's only one left!" Carolyn's voice echoed through the yard, snapping Derek out of his memories and refocusing on his hunt. Meredith must have hear him move and turned to look at him, smirking. "Stalking me now, are you?" she grinned.

"Hoping you'll lead me to the last egg," he countered. After looking for a few seconds, Derek saw something pink at the end of the bushes: the last egg. However, Meredith must have seen it a second before him, because she was running ahead of him before Derek could register what was happening. He sprang to action, catching up with her quickly. As she was reaching down to grab the egg, Derek did the first thing that came to mind: he tackled her. Meredith screamed as his body collided with hers, and they were both fell to the ground. Meredith was pinned under him, and he suddenly realized what he had done.

"Oh my God, Mer," he panted, brushing hair out if her face. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. Are you alright?"

Meredith was breathing hard, and just stared up at him blankly for a minute before her face broke out into a slow smile. Leaning up, she kissed him hard, a hand reaching up, threading her fingers through his hair. "I'm great," she said as they pulled apart. "Especially since I got the last egg."

Derek looked down at her other hand, which circled the pink egg. She looked up at him triumphantly, and he couldn't help but smile with her. "I'm going to make you pay for that," he whispered, tickling her sides. She squealed with laughter as they rolled around together on the grass.

XXXXXX

Everyone was sitting around the dinner table, the loud ruckus slowly turning into quiet conversations as dessert was served and exhaustion set in. Meredith had won the contest by two eggs, and Derek joked that now it was her turn to pay for their next date. Meredith's chair had gotten closer to his as dinner had progressed, and now her head was resting gently on his shoulder. Derek figured they would have to leave soon, Meredith's classes began again tomorrow, and Derek had an early shift at the hospital.

"So Meredith," Nancy said, turning her attention away from her daughter to look at the young girl. "How many weeks of classes do you have left?"

"Umm," Meredith lifted her head off Derek's shoulder, and he watched her try to do the math in her head. "I think I have three weeks left, and then a few days to study, and then I have a week of finals."

"Wow, not much time left," Kathleen commented. "Did you get a job in New York for the summer, or are you doing an internship?"

"No, I've been a lifeguard at a beach near my house for the past few years, so I'll be doing that again this summer."

"Aww, that's too bad. It's probably going to be really hard for the two of you to be apart for three and a half months."

Derek saw Meredith tense beside him, as if this was the first time she realized that they would be far away from each other for a while. It was honestly the first time for Derek; he had all but forgotten that Meredith had a life in Boston, one that didn't involve him. Reaching for her hand under the table and giving it a squeeze, Derek spoke for the both of them. "Don't worry Kathleen, we'll make it work." He turned his head towards Meredith, smiling at her, but Meredith's expression was questioning; there was no smile on her lips.

"Oh, I don't doubt that," Nancy said to the two of them. The focus of the table soon shifted, however, when Nancy's daughter decided to throw her mashed potatoes on the ground.


	26. Chapter 26

**_A/N: So, here is the final chapter. It is a little sad, but it ends on a good note I think. I'll post an epilogue in a couple of days, and that chapter will be happy, as will the sequel. Read and Review please!_**

Chapter 26

Meredith didn't know what to do. She knew she was leaving in three weeks, but it hadn't occurred to her until a week ago at Easter that she would be leaving Derek behind. _How can I be so brainless? _Meredith thought as she paced Derek's kitchen, waiting for him to come home from work. When her boss had called her last month asking if she would be returning as a lifeguard, Meredith said yes almost immediately, not even thinking about Derek and their future. Now she was stuck, and could really only see one possible solution. So, she was waiting for Derek to come back so that they could break up, because she thought it would be the best thing for them.

Actually, Meredith knew that was not the best thing for her; she believed in fact that it was the worst thing for her. She loved Derek so much, but she didn't think she could do the long distance thing. She wasn't sure that she was good at the girlfriend thing, and was convinced she would be terrible at a long distance relationship. They wouldn't have time for each other; Meredith would be working almost every weekend, because that's when most people go to the beach, and Derek would be studying for his intern exam, and then would be busy being a second year resident.

Or maybe they wouldn't have to really break up. Meredith thought as she continued pacing. Maybe they could just take a break for a little while. That way, Derek would be free to do what he wanted, or date someone else, and if he wanted her when she came back to New York in August. But, even that idea had Meredith's stomach clenching. What if Derek met another girl over the summer? She was sure she wouldn't date anyone else, because no guy was like Derek, and she knew that Derek loved her, but there are bound to be attractive doctors and nurses at the hospital. And they may become serious by the time Meredith comes back from Boston, and they won't get back together.

So, they either have to break up or figure out a way to work it out.

Meredith jumped as she heard the lock turn, and Derek walked in the door. He didn't notice her at first; he dropped his bag by the door, slipped off his shoes, and headed towards the refrigerator before he finally looked up and saw her standing by the table.

"Hi," Derek greeted her, his tired face brightening when he saw her. Walking over, he kissed her and held her close to him. She let her head rest against his chest briefly before sighing and pulling away.

"Mer?" Derek said, catching the look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Meredith sighed deeply. "Derek, we need to talk." She watched as Derek took a step away from her, his eyes cautious with a hint of anger

"About what?" he asked, but it sounded almost accusatory.

"Us…" Meredith whispered, her voice trailing off at the end.

"I figured as much Meredith," he snapped, and Meredith was taken aback. He never snapped at her. "I'm sorry Mer," he whispered when he saw her face. "I just want you to talk to me. You promised you would come to me if there was something bothering you, but you haven't and sometimes when we're together, you look like you're about to cry, and I just want you to tell me why."

"I'm scared, Derek," Meredith admitted. "And I don't know what to do. Because I'm leaving in three weeks, for three and a half months. And we aren't going to see each other ever. And I don't care what you say; I can barely do the relationship thing with you living five blocks away. I mean, we're fighting now because I don't communicate well when you're right in front of me. So do you really think I can do this when we're four hours away for so long? And I'll be working all the time, and you'll be working and studying, so we won't have time for each other. So maybe we should break up, or take a break for the summer or something, I don't know."

"Do you want to break up with me Meredith?" he asked, his voice void of all emotion.

"I-I just don't know how it will work," Meredith stuttered.

"You didn't answer the question. Do you want to end this? What would you want?"

"What would I want?" Meredith repeated, her eyes filling with tears as she got more emotional. "Well, I would want to live here instead of Boston, or I want you to live in Boston instead of here. Or, I would like us not to have a freaking eight year age difference so we wouldn't be on two completely different levels, and maybe have time to see each other!"

"So, you would want us to stay together?" Derek said slowly, trying to understand her ranting.

"Yes!" Meredith practically shouted. "But it'll be too hard for us to really be a couple or whatever, so maybe we should just take a break, or have an open relationship for the summer or something, and then we can start this up again if you still like me and haven't met someone else yet or-"

"Meredith," Derek cut her off. "Do you plan on dating anyone else this summer?"

"No," she responded.

"How about sleeping with anyone else?"

"Of course not," Meredith responded incredulously.

"Well, then we don't have any reason to take a break or have an open relationship, or anything else that you were suggesting we do," Derek stated simply.

"But what about you, what if you want to?" Meredith asked.

Derek sighed deeply, stepping towards her and cupping her face. "I will not be seeing anyone else. Or be sleeping with anyone else. You are all that I want, Mer. You're all I need. Even if we were going to be three thousand miles apart for a year, I still wouldn't break up with you. As long as we still love each other, and we don't want to break up, we can do this. We'll figure it out. We survived over your Christmas Break didn't we? Granted, this is three times the length of that, but we can do it again."

"You're sure?" Meredith asked, looking up at him. "But how will we see each other? Because I don't think I can go that long without seeing you, since we're going to stay a couple, I'll need to see you. It doesn't make sense, I know, but I can't go three months without you. You've ruined me."

"We'll make it work, I promise. I have two weeks off after my intern exam, remember? Maybe I'll come up to see you, or you can try to get some time off to come down here. If you want to see me Meredith, I will find a way to be there for you."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, leaning up to press her lips against his. "I'm sorry. I'm way too irrational sometimes."

"That's okay," Derek chuckled. "You're cute when you're irrational."

"I love you," she whispered into his chest as she pulled him towards her.

"I love you too," he said into her hair. "We'll be fine."

"We'll be fine," she repeated.

XXXXXX

Meredith looked around her room; it was almost completely empty, save for one duffel bag and her backpack. Cristina's parents were taking Meredith back to Boston for the summer; Ellis was obviously busy at the hospital. Cristina and her parents went out to lunch, and Meredith was waiting for Derek, who was coming by to say goodbye. The thought of leaving him for so long still brought tears to her eyes, but she wasn't scared anymore. They could do this, they could handle being apart; she would just miss him a whole freaking lot. But, Meredith had told herself and Derek that this was the longest amount of time they were allowed to be away from each other while they were still together. She swore she would get a job in New York next summer, or take classes at NYU, anything to stay near him. Derek happily agreed, he said he would have come up to spend the summer with her in Boston if he wasn't such a slave to the hospital, and she knew he would if he could.

She heard a knock behind her, and she turned to see Derek leaning against the open doorframe, lilies in his hands. She smiled softly at him, walking over to him. Without saying a word, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him gently before leaning into his chest. He pulled his arms tightly around her, and neither one spoke, savoring the idea of being near one another for the last time for several weeks. After a moment, she felt Derek sigh, and he brushed his lips against the top of her head. Pulling back slightly to look at him, but his arms still tightly around her waist, she looked up at him, giving him a small smile through her tears.

"Hi," she whispered, to which Derek responded by kissing her on the lips again, this time a little bit deeper.

"Hey," he responded, before placing the flowers and a gift bag in her hands. "These are for you."

Meredith nodded, leading him to her old bed, where a wrapped present was lying. Derek sat down on the mattress, pulling her onto his lap. "Open yours first," he mumbled into her shoulder.

Meredith pulled the tissue paper out of the bag, before picking up the object inside. It was a picture frame containing a photo taken the week before, at the Red Sox-Yankees game. Meredith was in a Red Sox shirt, Derek in a Yankees one, with Yankee Stadium the background for the picture. Derek had both his arms around Meredith, and they were laughing into the camera; the man who had taken the picture had made a joke or something. Meredith loved Derek when he laughed; he just always looked so happy, and it was the perfect picture of her to have to remind her of him.

"I hope I don't have to try so hard to convince you to display it," Derek joked, recalling their picnic on her birthday.

Meredith shook her head furiously. "Now I won't see you all the time, so you'll have to be on display. Very prominently," Meredith tried to joke, but her voice sounded weak even to her own ears. She felt Derek squeeze her tighter to comfort her, and he kissed her neck softly. She craned her neck around to look at him, offering him a smile. "Your turn."

Derek cleared his throat, reaching for the small bag. He pulled out a snow globe of the Boston skyline. It was about the size of a softball, and around the base was the phrase "someone who loves me went to Boston and got me this snow globe." Derek smiled as he flipped it over, watching the white flakes fall around the landmarks.

"You didn't see any of Boston when you came to visit me, so I figured you might actually enjoy seeing the sites," Meredith explained.

"I will," Derek agreed. "It'll also be a nice reminder of where my heart is."

"Oh God Derek, that is way too cheesy, even for you," Meredith laughed. "There's something else," she prompted. Reaching down, Derek pulled out a long, rectangular piece of paper. Turning it over, he realized it was a series of pictures from one of those photo booths found in a mall. They were just of Meredith, making different faces ranging from serious to smiling to silly. She looked gorgeous in each one, and Derek found himself missing her already.

"Just something to help you remember what I look like," she whispered from his lap.

"I love them," Derek said, looking into her eyes. "And I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith said breathily before leaning up to kiss him. They kissed for a long time, his tongue slowly sliding into her mouth as he deepened it. After a while, they pulled apart, and just held each other. Meredith relished in the feeling of Derek cradling her in his lap. Far too soon, her phone beeped, receiving a text from Cristina that she and her parents were downstairs waiting to go. They slowly untangled their limbs and stood up, moving slowly out of her room and down the elevator, never letting go of each other.

When they reached the car, Meredith turned to Derek and pulled him close to her. Derek bent down to kiss her passionately, knowing it would be a while before he kissed her again. When she finally broke away for air, Meredith pressed her forehead against his and trued not to cry.

"We can do this," Derek said softly. "Only nine weeks."

"Nine weeks," Meredith repeated. "I can do this."

"I love you Mer," Derek said, kissing her again. "So much. I'm going to miss you."

"I love you, and I'm gonna miss you too," Meredith said, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"Shh," Derek soothed, pulling her into a hug. "You're coming down to visit in nine weeks, it's not forever. We'll be okay."

Meredith nodded against his chest. "I know. I love you."

"Love you too. Call me when you get home?"

"Okay," Meredith nodded before kissing him one last time. "Goodbye Derek."

"Bye Meredith," he whispered as she got in the car.


	27. Epilogue: Nine Weeks Later

_**A/N: Wow, I can't believe it's done. I never finish stories I start, so this is a major accomplishment for me. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed it, your comments made my day. **_

Epilogue: Nine weeks later

Derek stood in the center of Penn Station as the clock struck two. He was so excited he was practically jumping; he must have looked like an overgrown five year old to anyone observing him. But he didn't care, because it was July, and the past nine weeks had been brutal. He spoke to Meredith every day, and he had been really busy studying for his intern exam, but it had still been a long nine weeks. Now that he had passed his exam with flying colors, he had two weeks free from the hospital, and Meredith was coming to visit him for six days. She had spoken to her boss in May, agreeing to work all Memorial Day Weekend and Fourth of July weekend in order to get six days off in a row. And now she was here, or almost here. Her train had arrived fifteen minutes ago, so she should be entering the lobby any second. He scanned the throngs of people again, and his eyes finally landed on her.

She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Wearing a blue tank top and khaki shorts, carrying her purse in one hand and her backpack on her shoulders, she looked freer, lighter somehow. Her hair was a lighter blonde, probably from all of the time spent out in the sun, and her skin was slightly tanned. Her freckles were more prominent, he could tell that even from far away. As if she could sense his eyes on her, she looked up from her phone, turned her head in her direction, and met his gaze.

Meredith's eyes instantly lit up, and her face broke out in the biggest grin Derek had ever seen her wear. Either unaware or not caring about the massive amounts of people in the station, Meredith full out ran the distance between them, launching herself into his all too ready arms. He gripped her tightly, as if trying to solidify that she was real, that after long last, she was here with him. She seemed to be doing the same, running her hands over his shoulders and through his hair. He spun her around in circles, both of them laughing, unable to express the joy of seeing each other in any other way.

When they stood still again, he was still holding Meredith in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist. Lifting an arm, he ran his hand down her cheek, still smiling like an idiot. Meredith raked her fingers through his hair, and at the same time, they bent their heads towards each other, their lips meeting. It was by far one of the best kisses Derek had ever had. It was almost as if he had forgotten what her lips felt like pressed against his; despite his many memories, nothing compared to the real thing. They kissed each other urgently, parting their lips at the same time to deepen the kiss. After what felt like hours, Derek slowly lowered Meredith to the floor, breaking their kiss but pulling her against his chest, still unable to put his happiness into words.

Finally, Meredith looked up from his chest, smiling up at him. "Hi," she said softly.

"Hey yourself," he replied, kissing her briefly again.

"You know, I don't think anyone's ever been that excited to see me," she stated, teasing him a little.

"Well, I can guarantee you Meredith; I have never been more excited to see anyone than I am about seeing you. I'm so happy you're here." Derek said, looking into her eyes.

"I'm happy to be here too," Meredith responded, squeezing his waist a little tighter. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too, your pictures don't nearly begin to do you justice," he joked. "I love you."

"I love you too. And I agree, the real thing is much better than the picture you gave me from Yankees Stadium."

"Hmm," Derek agreed as he looked around the station. "Hey," he whispered into her ear. "Let's get out of here; I think people are starting to stare at us."

"Kay," Meredith agreed, grabbing Derek's hand and lacing their fingers together as they walked through the lobby.

XXXXXX

Walking back to his apartment after dinner, Derek knew he had to tell Meredith something. Something huge, that would cause her to freak out, and she would probably take it the wrong way before he had a chance to explain. But he couldn't not tell her, now that he realized it fully over the past two months when she wasn't near him. It was almost like being in physical pain, and it made him realize that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Meredith Grey.

Now, Derek wasn't going to propose, because he knew that it would be too much for Meredith, but he figured he could at least tell her how he felt. And if he did it in the right way, the freaking out would be minimal.

"Mer," Derek began as they walked down the block. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

Meredith turned to look at him, raising her eyebrows, but didn't comment on the question. "Hopefully I'll be in my third year of residency."

"What about in five years?" Derek continued.

"Med school, why?"

"What about your personal life? What do you see then?"

"Um, I-I don't know Derek, I've never thought about it. Why?" Meredith was looking at him funny, so Derek figured he better start explaining.

"When you think about your future, am I with you? Have you ever even thought about it?"

Meredith looked down at the ground, a blush spreading on her cheeks. "I may have thought about it once or twice, but I try not to. I mean, things can change really quickly, so I don't like to think too far into the future. I mean, the furthest I've thought out this relationship was when I called my boss at the end of April asking for this week off to come see you. And even then, I was a little scared that I had just jinxed us, and we would get into a fight or something."

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about us while you've been at home, and about what I want in life," Derek began. Meredith looked up at him expectantly, and he could see a faint trace of fear in her eyes. "And I want you to know that in every situation, you're there with me. I love you so much, and I need you in my life. I think I started to realize that over Easter. You fit in so well with my family; it was like you belonged there. And when I think about where I want to be in five years, or ten, its right next to you. So, maybe you should start thinking ahead too. Because I'm going to start planning our future soon, and I feel as though you would want to have some input."

Meredith untangled her hand from his, placing both of hers on his cheeks, and pulled him down to her. She kissed him firmly but briefly, pulling away from him and smiling. "So, you have plans?" she asked him jokingly.

"Oh yes, I have many plans," Derek responded. "And they all involve you."

Meredith nodded, taking his hand again. "I think I'd like to have plans with you too," she said as she led him down the street.

**_A/N: I hope you all are happy with the epilogue, I left a lot open for the sequel. The next story is called "The Way I Am," and I'll probably post the first chapter on Saturday or Sunday. Just so you know, the sequel will not begin directly after the ending of this story; there is a time jump. Even though it's the last chapter, please review, and let me know if you want a sneak peek at the first chapter of "The Way I Am"!_**


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